May 17, 2013 3
Family disagreements, self-acceptance, internet conflict, and alcoholism are all topics in this week’s link list. What can I say? I like to keep things light around here. The pot has officially been stirred.
(I don’t know enough to speak to the two sides mentioned in this post, but I am very familiar with the tension between choosing what you believe to be the right religious conviction and the beliefs of family members. This is an important post to consider and talk about.)
“Throughout the course of Christian history, personhood issues have evolved as the Church became more enlightened. And I am thankful for this enlightenment because without it, I as a woman would still be property. I’m thankful I can walk into my church building and sit next to any person of any color and of any race that I want. But let us not fool ourselves into thinking we have reached the end of our responsibility to defend human dignity.
To be honest, I just don’t understand. How can a word typed on a page mean more than family relationships? How can it mean more than respecting someone else’s humanity?”
Heather Kopp for Rachel Held Evans
(I have seen the damage that alcohol can inflict on relationships first hand, and it’s terrible for everyone involved. This wonderfully written interview is vitally important for everyone to read because you never know when you’ll be called on to help an alcoholic.)
“I wish more pastors didn’t still view addiction in primarily moral terms. Yes, addictive behaviors often begin with a moral failing like selfishness or overindulgence. But full-blown addiction involves physiological and psychological components that go beyond sin or even choice. Trying harder, reading the Bible more, or praying more are rarely the solution.
I don’t think the answer is for churches to get more involved in diagnoses or administering recovery. But I do think they could do more to bring awareness to the issue, help people feel safe enough to admit to addictions, and help them connect with professional help or recovery groups.”
(So much truth from a talented writer.)
“It’s lonely work, the punching of keys and the mirror gazing of memoir writing. I hate myself in this book. I love myself. I’m annoyed by myself. I’m proud of myself. And then a little boy busts free from his babysitter and runs into my office begging to watch a show or in the background I hear a little one sobbing for his mama and I think: Is it worth it? Dredging all this up? Is it worth every hour I haven’t spent with these boys so I can pull out the thought that was so cloudy and noisy in my head and now looks like a butterfly on cement, sad but also kind of beautiful?
What I’m trying to say is that I have no choice. I have always been writing and my mind has always been writing me.”
Tamara Lunardo at A Deeper Story
(I may have a conversation like this with God every week… if not most days.)
“I burst. ‘But I’m not who I thought I was, who I wanted to be, and it’s all wrong, I’m all wrong, and you could never love me like this, and I can never be anything but this, and so you can never really love me– and there is no way we can ever be together.’
He closed the space. ‘There is nothing between us.’”
(This puts into words the challenge of putting anything into words when everything we put into words will be endlessly challenged, second-guessed, and questioned. Sometimes we do our best based on what we know, and it can be unsettling to always find out what you’ve done wrong.)
“I saw someone on Twitter last week say that the internet had made them afraid to say anything to any woman on Mother’s Day, with all the awareness of how difficult the day can be for so many.
I kind of feel that way about everything right now. Afraid to write or say or share anything, because someone, somewhere is going to disagree, and people will band together to say ‘you’re not doing it right.’”