Waiting Two Years for a Lousy Film: NY Times Gives Da Vinci Code the Thumbs Down

<%image(20060517-hanks.jpg|190|240|hanks)%> Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, excuse me, I’m still laughing after reading A. O. Scott’s review of The Da Vinci Code. The short of it is: he didn’t like it and subsequently tore it to shreds. No doubt he is bitter because we were all expecting more. Oh, but did he rip on it! Ha! And he didn’t just take shots at Hank’s hair.

Some of my favorite lines:
“The Da Vinci Code, Ron Howard’s adaptation of Dan Brown’s best-selling primer on how not to write an English sentence…”

“The Da Vinci Code, which opened the Cannes Film Festival on Wednesday, is one of the few screen versions of a book that may take longer to watch than to read.”

“To their credit the director and his screenwriter, Akiva Goldsman …, have streamlined Mr. Brown’s story and refrained from trying to capture his, um, prose style.”

“Through it all Mr. Hanks and Ms. Tautou stand around looking puzzled, leaving their reservoirs of charm scrupulously untapped. Mr. Hanks twists his mouth in what appears to be an expression of professorial skepticism and otherwise coasts on his easy, subdued geniality.”

In all fairness though, it’s not all bad. He does have some nice things to say about the movie . . . like it does eventually end. No really, he commends Howard on his adaptation and praises its merits as a murder mystery, but not much more than that. In fact, Scott has glowing praise for Ian McClellan, who seems to have saved the movie.

In the end, Scott wraps up with this gem:

“In any case Mr. Howard and Mr. Goldsman handle the supposedly provocative material in Mr. Brown’s book with kid gloves, settling on an utterly safe set of conclusions about faith and its history, presented with the usual dull sententiousness. So I certainly can’t support any calls for boycotting or protesting this busy, trivial, inoffensive film. Which is not to say I’m recommending you go see it.”

So far the reviews at RottenTomatoes.com make similar points.

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