Ed’s Plan For a Better World

In order to improve the world, the following changes will be put into effect immediately:

– The absence of butter at a cafe does not merit a hissy fit.

– Except in the case of a medical emergency, cell phones may not be used at indoor public places, especially cafes and airplanes.

– When using a cell phone for a medical emergency, the caller is to speak in a low, “inside voice” and is not permitted to say, “I’m in a plane right now” or to discuss other conditions that are inconsequential for the conversation.

– All passengers on airplanes must restrict their bodily appendages, especially legs and arms, to the designated space. All trespassing into the private space of other passengers will be punished through a hefty fine that increases at 15 second increments if the violation continues.

– Airplane passengers who recline back will be ejected from the plane immediately.

This is not a complete list, but it’s a step in the right direction. Additional items may be added through an additional post or through the comment section.

2 thoughts on “Ed’s Plan For a Better World

  1. Adam Malliet

    cell phone conversations that begin with, “I am in a movie theater” should result in said sayer’s choice of going without movies or cell phones for one year.

  2. ed Post author

    Thanks Adam, I knew I could count on you to help me make the world a better place.

    Come to think of it, any conversation that begins or could begin with, “I’m in the bathroom . . .” should be outlawed as well. That’s just creepy.

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