How Rabbits Destroy a House

Rabbits are cute little creatures. We love all three of our rabbits. Each has a wonderful quirk, an endearing superpower if you will. Baxter follows me around like a dog and will gladly sit in our laps to be pet. Eva loves to be pet and will sit for hours provided you leave her on the floor. Evan will lick your fingers if you can stand it.

And after they’ve done all of these cute things for you, one rabbit decides, “I’m sick of my toys, I’m going to chew on the coffee table.” We hear scraping in the general direction of the coffee table, snap our fingers and yell, “No!” but the process of destruction has begun.

Once ONE rabbit has decided something is interesting, you can rest assured that every rabbit will agree. Each rabbit leaves a scent, and so the next rabbit in the room must carefully inspect EVERYTHING, re-scenting each defiled object. While in the midst of the re-scenting program, they have this amazing ability to recognize the genius of the other rabbit. “Hey, this table really is a great chew toy!”

Repeat gnawing, snapping, yelling, and sometimes chasing sequence. This goes on and on. Sometimes it takes a month or two for rabbits to leave a piece of furniture alone. In the case of our nibbled coffee table, months have passed and even this evening Eva took a chunk out of it.

The most galling destruction was accomplished by none other than our adorable Baxter, the female bunny that we originally thought was a male. I was just about to tell Julie how good she’s been, when that jerk ripped a piece of sheet rock from a corner. This top layer of the sheet rock had the beautiful green paint that I so carefully applied last May. Now a huge gash remains in the wall.

The next rabbit out after Baxter was Eva. It took her a while, but soon she contributed to the growing bare spot on the wall. At this point I’m not sure if I should repaint it or let them run their course before touching it up.

Rabbits are jerks.