While praying at the local Taize service last night I had a little nudge from God, a small voice saying, “Receive my love.”

My first response?

“But God I’m still such a sinful selfish mess.”

After all these years of reading the Bible and following Jesus, the simple act of receiving God’s love, grace, and forgiveness is still rather hard at times. While God doesn’t just sweep our sins under the carpet, he doesn’t want us wallowing in them, beating ourselves up, alienating ourselves from his love and grace.

I tried to let go. I tried to step away from who I thought I was and tried to hear what God thought of me. It was a relief, a refreshing relief.

In an instant I realized that so much of my life is spent in a futile effort to be good, loving, and kind. And then John 4 came to mind, the part where Jesus tells the woman that those who believe in him will have living water bubbling up within them and overflowing.

I’ve been cranking away at the well of my soul, pumping up drops of water–hardly enough for myself let alone for those around me. But God wants to drill deep in where his Spirit resides and sent his life and love gushing up into and out of me.

If only we could believe how much God loves us.

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