:: in.a.mirror.dimly ::

So the state of Vermont became the first state where its representatives willingly asked to have same sex marriage legalized.

It’s kind of a big deal.

For all of those same sex couples living committed relationships or joined by civil unions, they are now on equal footing with heterosexual couples.

For those opposed to same sex marriage because of the state’s rights versus federal law matter, or however that works out, they’ll be looking into federal action, though who knows how all of that will pan out.

For those opposed to same sex marriage for religious reasons, there are some complex matters to address. At the center of the debate is the fear that those who object to same sex marriage on religious grounds will be marginalized as bigots and be restricted from operating nonprofits and other charities such as adoption clinics. One advocate stated, “Simply put, if you encode into the law that those of us who believe that marriage is the union of a man and a woman are bigots, why would you not expect the law to treat us as such?”

I’m not a legal expert, so I’m not so sure the same sex marriage law does that. However, there is fear out there of losing rights even as one group gains them. That fear is enough to drive a wedge between the two sides of this debate, creating a divide that often prevents level-headed discourse. In the months to come we’ll need to see how this plays out, but I wonder if there is something the supporters of same sex marriage can do to allay the fears of this religious block and to possibly pick up some friends and allies along the way. Even if same sex supporters are tasting victory, their opponents are even more fearful and may pursue a course of action that may cause a great deal more trouble down the line.

I’ll be the first to admit right up front that I’m suspicious of this fear, and I’m don’t quite see how Christians will lose free speech in the long run from this debate. There will be some friction with orphanages who only adopt to heterosexual couples, however, I think the vast homosexual conspiracy or movement trying to take over our nation is the figment of a fundraiser’s imagination. Are we on a slippery slope toward Christians losing their rights to this vast homosexual conspiracy?

Let’s step back for a moment for some perspective…

I heard award-winning journalist Chris Hedges characterize the Christian right at a book event. He wrote a book called American Fascists in which he spoke of how dangerous, how power-hungry, and how terrible these fundamentalists Christians (which in his definition included fundies and evangelicals) are. I spent years in Fundamentalist, conservative evangelical, and progressive evangelical congregations, many with conservative politics, and I can tell you that he missed the mark. There is some power and influence on that end of the spectrum, but there is no way Christians are going to take over America when David Kuo writes about George Bush’s folks routinely saying, “The f–king faith-based initiatives.”

The truth is that while Christians on the right espouse powerful rhetoric and even have leaders on the phone with influential folks in Washington, politicians will use interest groups to get elected and to pass policy, but will not obey their every whim. George W. Bush stalled on some abortion measures, held same sex marriage at bay, put off stem cell research, and kept his conservative base happy with some policy tweaks, but if there was ever a president who could have fallen under the sway of a powerful, well-organized religious conspiracy, he was the guy. He owed the most to them, especially in 2004.

What happened?

The Christians didn’t get all that much out of him. No bans on abortion. No lasting bans on same sex marriage. In short, Christians put “their guy” into office, and no sweeping changes were instituted in America. Hedges can’t be right about conservative Christians because they accomplished so little under Bush. You’d have thought they would have banned a lot more.

And so if Hedges, a respected journalist, could misread the rhetoric and influence of Christians, then I’m willing to hedge my bets that voices on the right are overestimating the agenda behind same sex marriage. They talk as if cells of homosexuals are working overtime to take over America and to lock up our churches, if not the Christians themselves.

I know plenty of same sex couples, and let me tell you, they just want to get married and to be done with all of this struggle. They want to find a job, home, and love with another person. In fact, they want to be free to do their own thing much like the Christian conservatives who fear them. Many of them attend church regularly, and if they don’t, they’re not out bashing Christians. The vast majority of people who voted same sex marriage into law  and supported the measure throughout the state saw this as a civil rights struggle for equality, not a building block on their way to taking over America.

For the most part they don’t want to indoctrinate Christians or to force them to change their beliefs. They just wanted their law and can now get on with their lives.

I will say that I can’t reconcile same sex marriage with the Bible, though I know plenty of God-fearing Christians who do, but I have absolutely no interest in trying to control how the state defines marriage. There are plenty of churches that will welcome same sex couples with open arms, so why should I try to stop the state from legislating as it sees fit.

My job is to seek first God’s Kingdom, not to make America into a Christian nation. My job is to make sure there are Christians in America—with America remaining a secular state much different from the Kingdom of God. I’d like to not lose my freedom of speech, but my primary concern as a follower of Jesus is to, well, follow Jesus, not the creation of a national religion.

There will always be firebrands on both sides, the kinds of people who stir the pot and make the more level-headed among us nervous. These are the people who make the news, but they should not be allowed to control the dialogue. I hope that Christians and same sex supporters can move beyond the fear and rhetoric to find some common ground. I think we’ll find a lot more in common than we’d expect, a lot less to fear, and much to respect, even if we don’t see eye to eye on how to interpret the Bible.