Mar 11, 2010
Rejection: Lessons in Validation and Identity
A few weeks ago I read Shane Claiborn’s book The Irresistible Revolution. I’m not sure why I’ve waited so long to read this book because I’m pretty sure I’ve been waiting all of my life to read a book like this.
Claiborn hails from Tennessee, began serving among the poor in Philly, ministered with Mother Theresa, worked as an intern at Willow Creek Community Church, and then returned to Philadelphia in order to become poor himself and to continue serving in Philadelphia. I am continually struck by Claiborn’s job description for himself: Lover.
His identity is wrapped up in the two greatest commands: to love God and to love others. Rather than defining himself as a radical missionary, truly authentic follower of Jesus, or adopting some other title within his group of like-minded Christ-followers, Claiborn has chosen to define himself according to God’s terms.
He’s a lover who is here for the purpose of loving others. The freedom that results makes my head spin.
When we run into rejection it’s easy to let the rejection define us. We can easily make the mistake of wrapping up our identity in our work, a personal quality, or a carefully cultivated image of ourselves.
Rejection strips us of these protective layers. We thought we were successful, hard workers. We thought we were smart, relevant, and insightful. We thought we were beautiful, attractive, or whatever else you want to insert here. Rejection unravels all of that and leaves us feeling exposed.
When we adopt God’s terms for our lives and take our place as his beloved people, we can start moving away from the earth-shattering consequences of rejection for anything tied to our work and even our personal qualities. We are the beloved of God, and we are created to be lovers.
“Success” in life is tied to receiving and then sharing this love of God. Living under the care of God in his Kingdom comes first. Rejection may shake us, but those who build their lives on the acceptance and love of God are built upon a rock that this world cannot upend.
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Amen! Thank goodness we have that rock to stand upon
It does seem that rejection pokes holes in anything that we believe makes us valuable apart from God’s love. I also think that it causes us to build other facades that are just as damaging to deal with. Wonderful post!!
Thanks Katy, there is a wonderful freedom for us when we let go of the wrong things.
Jake, you’re right. If we deal with rejection in unhealthy ways we just continue to stack the deck against ourselves. Great insight.
“When we run into rejection it’s easy to let the rejection define us. We can easily make the mistake of wrapping up our identity in our work, a personal quality, or a carefully cultivated image of ourselves.”
Those are exactly the easier routes to feeling better about ourselves. But, inside we are still wanting that acceptance… That only God can give.
Now, I am careful to check myself when I one of the 3 mistakes you list start to fill too much of my thoughts.
I love how you take God’s words and make it real for everyday peeps! Thnx for this serving…
Thanks Bonnie. I hope to get into some of the nuts and bolts of applying the study of scripture to life in my series next week.