Apr 14, 2010
Jennifer Knapp and a Teachable Moment for Christians on Homosexuality
Right now there are Christian homosexuals in our churches watching how you and I respond to the news of Christian music star Jennifer Knapp coming out as a lesbian. You can just about count on it.
If they’re not in our churches, they’re certainly reading the latest interview on Christianity Today with interest and anticipating the anger and clamor that will follow.
Knapp is not an anomaly. She isn’t a lesbian who stumbled into the church one day. She is a follow of Jesus who has been wrestling with her faith in the midst of same sex attraction for quite some time. There surely are others who have experiences similar to her within our churches. Though she kept it bottled up during the initial success of her first two albums, she is now speaking freely about it. She shares:
“As a Christian, I’m doing that as best as I can. The heartbreaking thing to me is that we’re all hopelessly deceived if we don’t think that there are people within our churches, within our communities, who want to hold on to the person they love, whatever sex that may be, and hold on to their faith. It’s a hard notion. It will be a struggle for those who are in a spot that they have to choose between one or the other. The struggle I’ve been through—and I don’t know if I will ever be fully out of it—is feeling like I have to justify my faith or the decisions that I’ve made to choose to love who I choose to love.” -Jennifer Knapp in Christianity Today.
How will we respond? Will we rebuke her? Will we respond with compassion to her personally while still disagreeing with her choices? Will we rush to her defense?
Here’s my suggestion. Let’s take a moment to step back and consider that Knapp’s experience may be more common than some would like to admit. There are followers of Jesus today who aren’t sure what to make of their faith and their same sex attraction.
Knapp represents what Christians fear most today: Christian homosexuals who affirm Jesus and their same sex relationships.
I’m not too concerned about whether or not we agree with Knapp. That’s another discussion. We need to balance our commitment to scripture while extending patience and grace to those with whom we disagree.
The larger matter is that Knapp represents what is happening within our churches. Only these believers may not come out and talk openly about their sexual desires. Can we really blame them? However, they may remain in our midst under our radar, listening to our conversations about Knapp in the coming weeks.
What will they see? Will they see a Spirit-directed response? Will they see the grace and love of Jesus in the midst of discussing a controversial issue? Will they feel comfortable discussing their inner conflicts with us, or will we close off the church as a safe place for imperfect people to find the freedom of God’s Kingdom?
Whatever we believe or say about Jennifer Knapp, let’s resolve to make this a teachable moment. We don’t know what those around us are struggling with and we don’t know how a careless word said in the midst of Knapp’s coming out will impact these people who are loved by God.
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I thought she was so brave to do this. Did you read her interview in The Advocate? She’s got guts. I was a big fan of hers back in the day and I am looking forward to the new album. But regardless, I simply can’t fathom the hard road she has ahead of her now. Grace and peace to her. I hope that the church she experiences is truly full of grace.
I couldn’t agree more with your post. A loving and reasoned response is definitely what in needed to this announcement.
As a christian I am so saddened by this. I know that the bible is extremely clear about homosexuality. It’s a sin. But. God loves the sinner. He hates the sin, but he loves the sinner. My best friend from childhood is a lesbian and I never want to be in her face or hurtful. I’ve worked with many homosexuals in my job and with all of these I strive to be as my God would be, loving and kind. I pray and wait for an opportunity to talk to them about it, if God brings it up, but I don’t pursue it. I believe that my only duty is to pray for them, not to chastise or judge and that if they are pursuing a relationship with God that he will in his gentle and loving way, turn them to the truth, in his time.
I so agree with you that the response to this announcement is more important than where someone stands on the issue. People will be watching and listening how Christians respond to this issue, not just within the Christian community, but those outside of it as well.
Sarah, thanks for your kind words. Ditto on being a Knapp fan back in the day. When she disappeared I had a feeling that it was for a legit reason…
Kristine, thanks for stopping by. I’m glad my post resonates with you. Whether or not we agree on the details of interpretation, it seems to me that grace and carefully worded responses are the way to go with this one.
This is an incredibly brave thing to do. We all struggle in different areas, some are just more obvious or up for comment than others. My struggle with food, too much time on the internet and depression are more socially acceptable in Christian circles than being attracted to someone of the same sex.
It comes back to that phrase of Jesus: let him or her who has not sinned cast the first stone.
Thanks Marta. It’s always great to hear from you!
Jo, I appreciate your vulnerability with this topic. As we realize our own brokenness and need for healing, I think that helps us relate to where others are at.
Deborah, I couldn’t agree with you more about your prayerful approach. I think that the most strident “opponents” of homosexuality have simply never met a homosexual before or learned to see the world from the perspective of a homosexual. So your experiences are quite valuable for this conversation.
The biblical interpretation of the passages is highly debated in many circles, and I’ve addressed it frequently on this blog. So I encourage any readers who want to learn a bit more about the various interpretations, to check out this post:
http://inamirrordimly.com/2009/08/31/who-will-you-worship-meditations-on-romans-1-with-a-footnote-on-the-homosexuality-debate/
Hi Ed: thanks for reminding us that gay and lesbians in our congregations will watch and learn in the coming days. I’m not sure that Jennifer’s situation rises to the level of requiring comment from the pulpit, any more than other people’s sexuality requires comment.
The news about Jennifer Knapp simply brings what is usually below the surface back to the surface for a few days. It is a difficult question for me because I hold strong convictions in several directions.
First–the Evangelical church in North America has failed gays and lesbians for years. We have vilified, condemned, and marginalized homosexuals while straight Christians have committed any number of sexual sins. We look the other way when straight Christians engage in premarital sex, or adultery, or (I say this with great horror) sexually abuse others. Rarely–very rarely–are these sins called out from the pulpit. We have failed homosexuals by making their identity almost exclusively about their sexuality while we allow straight people to define themselves by other markers in their lives. We have done these things and more.
My second conviction is that homosexually is sin, and like all sin, one of it’s most dreadful consequences is that sin holds people back from the full potential in their relationship with their Creator. As a pastor, I am concerned about gays and lesbians in their shortcomings in the same way I am concerned about everyone in my charge, and myself for that matter. The fact that the Evangelical church has horribly mistreated gays and lesbians for decades means that we have lost our moral standing and the practical ability to speak to gays and lesbians.
Finally, as someone who values the scripture highly, I am positively distraught at the abuse of God’s word by people on all sides of this question. Proof-texting and finger-pointing are abuses that surely anger God now as they did in Jesus’ day. Ignoring and distorting the gift of the scriptures also harms the person who comes to the text looking to affirm themselves rather than to submit to God (and lest anyone misinterpret that last sentence, I am talking about all “sides” of this issue).
Please permit me one last observation: in his earthly ministry Jesus angered religious people while putting sinful people at ease. Yet no one would serious contend that Jesus gave anyone a “pass” on their behavior. The only One who had the right to judge others found ways to befriend the sinner and infuriate the self-righteous. I want to be like Him.
Peace to all,
Ray
Ray,
This was a well thought-out and articulated response. As someone who has watched several folks I grew up in church with struggle with same sex attraction, I had to wrestle with this by myself, as my church was silent on the issue. I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. I love my friends – period. I did not come into relationship with them because I thought they were straight. I came into relationship with them because we had things in common. When we focus solely on their struggle with sexual identity, we inevitably disregard the other wonderful traits they have such as, kindness, compassion, talent, career skill, etc. These things are not a result of their sexuality and they should not be discounted.
I’ve actually heard a pastor declare from the pulpit that “Jesus was a man’s man, not some mamby pamby blond-haired, blue-eyed pansy.” (that’s a direct quote) I don’t really know what a man’s man is, but I have to point out that Jesus wasn’t blond-haired probably because he was JEWISH, not because he was straight! We’re talking a genetic code here.
I would further contend that if Jesus were walking in our culture now, he would definitely be accused of being gay. I’m so sick of the stereotyping in the church. I would have thought by now we would have risen above the stupid and immature to something a little more enlightened.
Hopefully, we can demonstrate a healthy and loving response without alienating those who need Jesus’ grace every bit as much as we do. We’ll never change their minds by telling them they’re wrong.
Thanks for writing!
Thanks Ray. I’m glad you added that last paragraph. That was right one. Thanks for wrestling through this complex issue here. You’ve given us a lot to chew on!
[...] The larger matter is that Knapp represents what is happening within our churches. Only these believe… [...]
I think we need to remember is to remember what the Bible says clearly about sin. She acknowledges her sin publically (good) and now she needs to work on her sin, work on fighting it, work on getting help, and we should support her in that, but we shouldn’t support her in it if she is saying it’s okay to be saved and be a lesbian. That gives a mixed message to those unbelievers. As you know, I’m all for transparency and living forgiven and giving God the glory by letting Him pick me up from my mistakes. I think of the woman whom Jesus saved from stoning. “Go and sin no more,” He says.
Ray’s right…the sin in our lives continually interferes in a right relationship with Christ. I know mine did in the past and when I sin now I feel bad and try to make things right or I don’t feel right in prayer.