Sep 3, 2010
Why Am I Here?
Note to Readers: Next Monday I’ll continue my series on surviving evangelism.
This August we moved to a small city in Eastern Connecticut where my wife is attending graduate school. After searching for apartments all over the place, we found this nice and affordable place.
It has huge windows, high ceilings, and a kitchen big enough for two of every appliance. Our rabbits charge around our spacious living room, and my desk is lined up right next to the window. When I’m home, I feel happy and at peace.
And then I leave our apartment.
Like I said, we’re living in a small city. We’re also living on the economically struggling side of the city, actually right on the edge between the downtown shopping district and the run down part. Our building has locks galore and all kinds of security cameras, so we feel plenty safe when at home.
After living in Vermont where we didn’t have cable lines or cell coverage by our country home, it’s kind of a shock to go outside and to be surrounded by asphalt, concrete, people, and cars. Add to that a large number of young men kind of just wandering the streets, and I become a bit overwhelmed. Gosh, this is different.
Life sometimes offers us a series of trade-offs. But then again, we moved here after a lot of prayer and thought. I don’t think we made a mistake. It’s just a transition that I need to make.
Part of what helps me in this time of transition is the knowledge that God isn’t leading me on a wild goose chase. As I look back over the past years of my life, I can see how certain experiences and seasons have shaped me and better yet, how those experiences have prepared me for the next stages in my life.
A skeptic could try to pick all of this reasoning apart. It’s just coincidence perhaps. But I’ve seen how God has challenged me in the past to confront various fears and shortcomings. How I’ve had to grow, think differently, and change. And after passing through that season, I look back and wonder what all the fuss was all about.
You see, I’ve been in this place before: uncomfortable and uncertain. And then it passed. Meeting God in times like these reinforces the fact that he is the only thing in life that is unshakable. When my life feels like it’s shaking, I have an opportunity to stand in the only truly firm place.
Learning to stand on the unshakable is the reason why I’m here.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Glynn Young, edcyzewski. edcyzewski said: New blog post: Why Am I Here? – http://tinyurl.com/352qnrw [...]
Thanks for sharing a very real part of your life, along with how your faith sees you through. This is something I can really relate to:
“Part of what helps me in this time of transition is the knowledge that God isn’t leading me on a wild goose chase.”
I can really relate to this post.
This post will be highlighted on the September, “Around the Network” roundup of the best blogs in the
network, on October 6, 2010
I just love this post. It really challanged my thinking!
[...] Ed Cyzewski recently posted about the uncertainty surrounded by a recent relocation. “I’ve been in this place before: uncomfortable and uncertain,” he writes. He asks the probing question, Why am I here? [...]
I came over through the HighCalling feature. I especially like the part about your apartment and the shock of walking outside. I still feel that kind of shock after all these years, having grown up in the middle of nowhere.
Thanks L.L. There’s something comforting in knowing that there are certain parts of ourselves that can’t be up-rooted and paved over.