:: In.a.Mirror.Dimly ::

You could probably count on one hand the number of times I got into trouble as a child. I never went to the principal’s office. Nothing was more important than being the good kid who always finished his homework and obeyed his parents.

I classified the day that I forgot my homework a national disaster.

I suppose I imagined my teachers and parents meeting behind closed doors to have crisis meetings about me. They had pitchers of water and donut holes. “We always thought Eddie was a good kid, but he’s messed up. Clearly, we were wrong about him.”

I didn’t believe I could still be that good kid after failing at something… anything. I never thought that they would expect me to let them down or to make the wrong choice sometimes. I didn’t think that my parents or teachers would understand.

As you may suspect, that mindset has been gracefully carried over to God.

God sits at his desk in a kind of heavenly principal office, and I walk in to fess up. And boy, he lets me have it. “You stupid imbecile! How could you let me down like this AGAIN?” I sulk out of his office, begging and pleading for mercy, forgiveness, and help to never do it again.

I imagine that God is so distant from me by that point that I can’t imagine him helping me.

Reality Check

The Bible tells a somewhat monotonous story at times. God’s people receive a covenant/promise from God, they break it, God disciplines them, they repent, and God restores them. The book of Judges is repetitive enough to make the most stalwart student of scripture cry uncle.

I used to think the ancient Israelites were a bunch of ungrateful, unfaithful chumps who needed to get their act together. Lately, I’ve been identifying with them. I can relate to that constant shift from faithfulness, to selfishness and sin, and back to faithfulness.

It finally hit me that God gets it too.

I’m Not the Only One

It’s quite silly and prideful for me to think that my sins are earthshattering, catastrophic events. I imagine myself falling from grace, losing my place with God, and banging on the gates of heaven. Some days principal office God looks like my best option.

Without minimizing the seriousness of sin, sometimes we make more of our sins than warranted. God is with us for the long haul. He knows we will sometimes fail just like every other human being before us. He knows we’ll need to repent like everyone else and to work with him on our restoration. He knows he can help us leave sin behind if we’re willing to embrace him and his power for us.

I wonder if God just wants us to confess our sins and get over it. Move on. Stop lamenting the times we fall and just start running the race again.

I can’t imagine any meaningful relationship in which I’d want to drag out the reconciliation process longer than necessary. While it’s important to deal with problems, we are in relationship with others in order to enjoy one another and to experience life together.

That relationship is what God wanted with Israel, and that’s why he put up with their highs and lows. He wants the same thing with us. And to that end, I don’t think our sins are always as catastrophic as we think. He’s been there before, and he can work with us.