Mar 22, 2011
Where to Place Our Confidence: The Trap of Defensiveness
There are times when I don’t like who I become: fearful, angry, and defensive. Defensiveness usually tips me off that something isn’t right.
Sometimes I’ve been wronged, and I feel defensive. At the moment when I feel defensive, I have to decide how to respond. That’s when I have to choose between working toward redemption or retaliation.
Other times I haven’t been wronged personally, but I fear the impact of what someone else believes, teaches, or practices. Whether or not my fears or evaluations are correct, the moment I feel defensive, I begin to think of ways to protect what I believe and value from a perceived threat—typically another person or movement.
The moment I become defensive about beliefs, practices, or values, I’m no longer in a position where I can love another person, seeing him/her from God’s perspective. I’m rooted in my perspective, and I become convinced that the existence of another perspective could upend everything I hold dear.
Usually defensiveness is rooted in misperceptions and overreactions. However, even if my defensiveness is warranted, I need to decide whether I’m going to reach out in redemptive ways or strike in order to protect myself.
When my Christian faith was all about finding the right answers and holding onto the truth rather than holding onto a person, I was defensive all of the time. Everyone who differed from me was a threat who called into question the beliefs that my faith was built upon.
When my Christian faith and salvation rested on having the right answers and holding onto the truth, defensiveness made sense.
Allegiance to truth or a particular perspective demands defensiveness in order to preserve it from criticism.
It’s no secret that Christianity stands and falls on one foundation: Jesus Christ. We can all agree on that, but if our foundation is found in a person and in his revelation through the Spirit, scripture, and Christian community, where does that leave us with truth?
That is where Christians tend to differ.
From where I sit, I’ve learned to see truth, or what we believe, as something important, but not something I’m supposed to necessarily defend. No matter what someone teaches, Jesus is still Lord. He defines the truth, he alone knows all of the truth, and there’s nothing that I can do to enhance that.
I see my role as that of a messenger who needs to pass along a message, not a warrior who has to protect something. Even when I meet a Christian who is missing a key part of the Christian faith, I’m a messenger who should affirm what is right and gently correct what is wrong with the ultimate goal of helping others know and experience Jesus as fully as possible.
If someone is committed to Jesus and holds to beliefs that I consider wrong, I gain nothing and they gain nothing when I become defensive. I may be able to encourage that person to see things differently, but if I feel the need to defend the truth or attack someone, the larger problem is my insecurity, my desire to control, and the possibility that I’m resting more on having the right answers instead of the right savior.
