Protect Our Nuclear Weapons from Budget Cuts!

nukeAll of the talks within the U.S. government about potential spending cuts has me really worried that our nation could make drastic cuts to one of our most important groups: nuclear weapons. A nuclear weapon is always a sound financial investment because there really is nothing like guaranteed mutual destruction to make you sleep well at night.

We’ve built our weapons with great care and precision, stored them in specially designed bunkers to keep them warm and dry, and even paid people to care for them. What kind of heartless savage would tell our loyal weapons, “Thanks for preventing WWIII, but we need to balance the budget and you’re going to be dismantled.”

Shame on us. How could we be so uncaring as to tell some of our 5,000+ nuclear weapons that they’re superfluous and unnecessary! If China only has 240 nuclear warheads, it’s only because China clearly fails to see the long term value of stockpiling thousands of nuclear weapons.

Before we allow our politicians to sabotage our national security by dismantling even one weapon, let’s consider these important facts about nuclear weapons:

Nuclear Weapons Need Shelter

Under their cold metal shells, nuclear weapons really are defenseless. Sure they could blow you up if you don’t handle them properly, but every nuclear weapon just wants a quaint little bunker to call home. I’d think we could at least maintain enough funding to make sure that every single missile in our country has a place to call home. As the largest economy, that should be a simple task for us.

Nuclear Weapons Need Care

But it isn’t enough to provide shelter for our missiles. We need to maintain them, plan for their future, and make sure that they’re ready for any challenges to come into the future. If we don’t invest in our missiles, they may let us down when we need them most.

Nuclear Weapons Deserve a Dignified Old Age

As nuclear weapons enter their golden years, they won’t be able to care for themselves. Our weapons have worked hard all of their lives to prevent nuclear war, and now we dare to send them off to a landfill or wherever you send hazardous waste? No weapon should have to worry about whether it will have a safety net of support to ensure it has a dignified existence when it can no longer take care of itself.

I understand the pain of our lawmakers who have to make tough cuts to our budget, but there are certain budget cuts that are simply unconscionable.

How could we make a budget cut that leaves a missile out in the cold?

How could we fail to invest in the future of our missiles, especially missiles in poor states that may not be able to afford caring for them?

How could we let our weapons down late in their existence when they’re at their most vulnerable?

Perhaps Jesus said it best when he told his disciples, “Blessed are the peacemakers who prevent wars by using nuclear weapons to assure the mutual destruction of everyone.”

If we want to assure our continued existence and peace, we need more weapons. Let’s tell our politicians to make sure our budget continues to make that happen.

4 thoughts on “Protect Our Nuclear Weapons from Budget Cuts!

  1. Jennifer

    I see you put this one in the “irreverent” category. Well played. Wow. And here I thought the senior citizens should be cared for first. You’re right. Nuclear warheads are people, too. You’ve changed my mind.

    Nice work.

  2. Sarah@EmergingMummy

    I love when you write like this, Ed – a bit snide, a bit snarky but truth all over the place. And a good topic, one that deserves more attention overall, let alone during a debt crisis. I wish that more people could read it and give it some attention – both for the sake of the weaponry and the sake of the debt issues currently ongoing.

    1. ed Post author

      Thanks Sarah. I’m glad to hear that protecting our nuclear weapons is a high priority for you too.

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