Nov 11, 2011
How to Say No to God
The first time that I actually realized what it means to be a Christian, I had a sinking feeling in my gut. I felt like I’d been tricked. There’d been some kind of mix up.
I hadn’t really thought much about the costly bit about making disciples or letting Jesus actually become the Lord of my life. I had to let go of control. I had to trust my future in his hands.
My own plans for security and a good job couldn’t be tweaked. Scrapping was even too good for them. They had to be destroyed.
I remember those days when I feared what would happen if I really let God pry my fingers away. I wanted to keep a hold on my life and my future. I thought I could look out for myself better than anyone else.
I was toying with saying “no” to God.
We can say no to God for any number of reasons. We may struggle with fear, greed, or pride. We may doubt his love for us. We may fill our minds with half-baked theology.
Saying no to God isn’t hard. Nothing feels more logical. Why wouldn’t you trust your own judgment over a leap in the dark?
I feel like my life has been an ongoing process where God continually pries my finger away one by one. I thought I knew what I should do for a career. I thought I knew where we should live and minister. Those plans have since been detonated, blown to bits with no survivors.
The funny thing about obedience and following Jesus into a leap is that you begin to learn things, you build momentum. You get to see God provide. You find out that you didn’t want certain things quite so bad once you’ve stepped away from them. You discover new things that you never expected to love. You find out that God can provide all that you need, even if you don’t have what you always thought you wanted.
Our move to Ohio was, in some senses, a step of obedience into something new. However, speaking for myself, I had also seen on several occasions that God had provided exactly what I needed in my previous leaps. There were some tough, uncomfortable moments, but along the way, I received provision from God.
The more I look back at God’s faithfulness over the years, the easier it is to let go when I sense he’s yanking at my fingers again. I still have moments of doubt and resistance. The word “no” creeps into my mind. However, I have something precious and powerful to call upon: God’s provision for past obedience.
That sinking feeling still hits my gut sometimes. Some days I dread what the next challenge will be. I don’t expect the sacrifices to become easier.
I can still think of many ways to say no to God. I still have all of my same reasons to resist his plans for life. However, I now have some pretty good reasons to say yes.
Ed, this so closely mirrors my experience. It also reminds me of something (I think) Anne Lamott wrote, about how when we ask God into our lives we expect him to change the wall color or pull up the laminate flooring. Then we look outside and see the wrecking ball.
Great analogy from Anne, Shawn. C.S. Lewis has a similar one, but this cuts to the quick.
Given my history and wrestlings with doubt, I find that I am a Christian *not* because it is an easy or attractive option: it is simply true!
I wonder how many of us arevtelling Him No in various ways daily?
“You find out that God can provide all that you need, even if you don’t have what you always thought you wanted.” This is such a powerful truth. One that I seem in need of re-learning often.
What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, “Son, go and work today in the vineyard.”
“I will not,” he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.
Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, “I will, sir,” but he did not go.
Which of the two did what his father wanted?
One of my pastors had a daughter who decided to apply that passage for the week following. Every time her parents asked her to do something she would say “no” and go do it.
Brilliant! I hope some teenagers read my blog and find your comment.
In the same breath as I say, “Lord use me,” I am fearful. If it’s been anything like in the last five years, following Him can be terrifying and gratifying.
That’s my experience too Nikole!