I’m guest posting for Tanya Marlow today. When you drop by her blog, subscribe or connect with her on Facebook. Tanya is a sharp writer and theologian who has a condition called M.E. (myalgic encephalomyelitis). Although M.E. limits her physical energy, she writes with passion, insight, and clarity on a regular basis despite facing many challenges.
From my post today…
When I didn’t know what to do for a career, I tried becoming a pastor.
As virtuous as that career choice sounded at the time, I can only describe the personal struggles that followed as “shutting down.” I struggled with my confidence, I couldn’t share my faith, and I worried about the future.
While working at a church, I tried to attend conferences and to talk about ministry with pastors, but nothing ever felt right. I felt like a complete imposter. I kept trying to push through.
When we moved to Vermont and I left my church job, I spent two years floundering before I began to finally entertain an idea: “What if I’m not cut out to be a pastor?”
Left with no other identity for myself, I began asking God some hard questions like this: “What now?”