When I released Coffeehouse Theology back in 2008, I realized that while I read the books of female theologians (see IVP’s epic commentary by female scholars for instance), I only read a few female bloggers. One of the first female bloggers I read was Amy Speigel, the wife of my former professor at Taylor U. and award-winning author Jim Speigel. It has been a ton of fun seeing Amy crush it as a blogger, and now she’s written a book. I’m happy to have Amy as today’s guest blogger:

Surprise! Ed is taking the day off and graciously allowing me this opportunity to share a little about my new book, Letting Go of Perfect. It isn’t just the title of my book but also a summary statement of what God has been teaching me over the last few years.

Let me first say that, with a title like Letting Go of Perfect, I think a disclaimer is in order:

• I don’t know Perfect.
• Perfect wouldn’t give me the time of day if I say her walking down the street.
• Perfect won’t give me her telephone number or accept my friend requests on Facebook.

The perfection referred to is not my own, not something that I once possessed and have since decided to let go of. It is my pursuit of perfection, my Pharisaical life under the law of which I am desperately trying to be free.

One night I sat in my car outside a friend’s house too tired and scared to go inside. You would have thought I was heading into an angry mob rather than going to prayer meeting.

I should have been overjoyed at the opportunity to fellowship with other women and unburden myself of the cares and concerns I was facing. But all I saw was judgment. A firing squad ready to shoot down my fragile ego.

What if they see through this façade? What if they realize that just how not all together I really am? That night was a turning point for me. Because I did go in. And I did admit to be not all together. And what I discovered was none of us have it all together. None but one and He is all we need.

I have been surrounded by the Gospel my whole life. I am one of those people with the super boring testimonies (except for my high school and college years, but that’s a discussion for another day).

• Raised in a Christian home by loving and godly parents.
• Attended a Christian university where I had the opportunity to interact with wise and godly professors and fellow students.
• I’m now a part of that university community as a professor’s wife with the opportunity to raise our kids among dedicated and godly people who care for us all.

I am not a part of some unreached people group who have yet to hear the Good News of Jesus, His life, death and resurrection. But despite all these advantages, I often live as though the Messiah has yet to come.

I affirm the truth of Jesus with my mouth, but it often fails to reach my heart. I have accepted God’s grace when it comes to my eternal destination but fail to fall back on it in my everyday life. I strive to obtain perfection in my relationships and vocation without recognizing that perfection on my own is unobtainable.

That might not sound like good news but in fact this is the Good News-that we were lost but are now found. I don’t have to strive for perfection because it has already been obtained on my behalf. On this journey, God has shown me how my service and worship of Him as well as my service to others had become a burden, lacking in the joy and freedom we are supposed to have in Christ.

If you are struggling to balance a desire to serve Christ with excellence and a longing for the freedom and authenticity, I encourage you to check out my book Letting Go of Perfect. It is a book about the good news of grace and how we can let it not just save us from eternal damnation but how it can work its way into every aspect of our lives. It’s about how we can stop working harder under the burden of the law and start living freer under the umbrella of His grace.

You can learn a bit more about Letting Go of Perfect here.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

About Today’s Guest Blogger

When Amy Spiegel was growing up, she dreamed of someday writing in a white farm house in her beloved Appalachian mountains, surrounded by animals and lots of offspring. Currently, she is writing in a house nestled among the cornfields of Indiana with one lizard and kids with allergies. Well, one out of five isn’t so bad. She bakes a mean coffee cake, has read all of Jane Austen’s works more times than is healthy and refuses to acknowledge snow as a good thing. She authors the blog ahcrabapples.wordpres.com and co-authors the blog wisdomandfollyblog.com with husband, author and college professor Jim Spiegel.

I’m proud to announce my latest book release:

Read the book of Acts with fresh eyes and easily retweet your favorite passages with the New Twitter Version’s latest translation: The Tweets of the Apostles. 

Download the full E-book today:

Download to your Kindle ($.99)

Download to your Nook ($.99)

Want to check it our first before you toss a buck my way?

Download the free PDF (portrait orientation)

Download the free PDF (landscape orientation)

Don’t forget to tweet #NTV12, mentioning @edcyzewski, and to share on Facebook!

About the Tweets of the Apostles in the NTV

Twitter has changed everything in our world: how we communicate, market, and network. Now, Twitter is changing how we read and understand the Bible. Until now, every translator of the Bible was bound to report every single detail in the original manuscripts.

With Twitter, we’ve found a fast, efficient, easily shared way of communicating that cuts out the repetition and cluttered details. By constraining the message of Acts into a series of tweets, readers will quickly grasp the complete message of the book of Acts and easily share the Gospel with their friends and neighbors who may not understand the Gospel if we build orphanages and provide clean water for the poor, but who may understand a simple, succinct tweet.

The New Twitter Version keeps the message of Acts simple, effective, and easy to share. By focusing on the minor details of the Acts story and cutting out the long, repetitious conversion narratives, this fresh translation reshapes the Bible into the image of today’s communication technology so that we can relate to the characters, understand the challenges they faced, and learn more about what they ate for lunch.

Download the TNV Media Kit now.

Is The Tweets of the Apostles a Real Book?

The NTV and The Tweets of the Apostles is a real book in that you can download and read a real E-book. However, this book is being released on April 1st. Take a moment to consider what usually happens on April 1st. Whoopee cushions… Staplers in jello… Threats to conduct small group over Skype… (Yes, my brilliant friend actually pulled that one off!)

Are you following me?

In fact, every year I release a book like this on April 1st.

• Love Bites (think Love Wins and Twighlight)
• The Lost Tweets of Jesus

All that to say, while I do spend a lot of time talking about what Christians do and believe and how our culture impacts both, you may not want to form your judgments of me based on the NTV. Coffeehouse Theology would be a much better place to start.

What Authors Are Saying…

“Ed Cyzewski has done it again! (Whatever it is that he does).”
- Bradley Wright, Author of Upside and Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites and Other Lies You’ve Been Told

"I would loudly proclaim my endorsement of Ed Cyzewski’s writing but I’m not sure how to pronounce his last name."
- Jason Boyett, Creator of the 9 Thumbs podcast (9Thumbs.com) and author of some books

“Wow, Ed C…ski has done it again. This is a GR8, 1st-rate book! If u read this book & it d/n change ur life, there’s something wrong w/ u. D/n miss it!”

- Matt Woodley, managing editor of PreachingToday.com & author of The Gospel of Matthew: God with Us

About the Author

Ed Cyzewski (MDiv, Biblical Seminary) is a freelance writer and blogger at http://www.inamirrordimly.com who uses curiosity, a seminary degree, and bad puns to help his readers follow Jesus. He aims to make good theology accessible, interesting, and practical. Ed is the author of Coffeehouse Theology: Reflecting on God in Everyday Life and Divided We Unite: Practical Christian Unity. He is the co-author of Hazardous: Committing to the Cost of Following Jesus (CLC, Fall 2012) with Derek Cooper.

Today I’ll spend an hour over lunch with a buddy talking about the three primary elements of Christian faith—our Creator, Savior and Guide—in the most real and practical ways.

We’ll talk about the hope that’s found in having a Creator—a loving Deity who exists beyond what we can see and hear. One whose existence speaks to our deep desire that when we close our eyes for the last time, we’ll have a spiritual world in which to live for eternity.

We’ll talk about our need for a Savior—one to cleanse us from all past sins and forgive us our daily trespasses. (It only takes a few minutes into our salads to acknowledge the pesky stumbling blocks on our way toward “perfection”—something I, more than anyone, have yet to achieve. Maybe next week.)

We’ll end up talking about our need for a Guide—the Holy Spirit—to help us deal with all of life’s issues and trials. We need One to remind us that no matter what our situation, there’s a way of life that brings joy and peace.

I’m convinced this is a regular conversation every Christian can have—with any other Christian. The core elements of faith are found in the simplicity of knowing a Creator, Savior and Guide—something I affectionately refer to in my book as “C-S-G.” Of course, anything as complex as God’s amazing reality can’t be reduced to “three simple steps.” I’m not advocating that at all.

Good theology is complex for a good reason. When it comes to Christians actually walking the talk, we’re all called to a simpler faith. Everyone starts their spiritual journey—and sustains it—based on three core elements: C-S-G: Creator, Savior, Guide.

The problems come with the “extras”—the man-made add-ons. In the book I call these divisive traits our distinctives—the unique ways we “do church” in the world of Christianity (When I speak of “Christianity,” I’m talking about all faith groups who embrace the concept of the Trinity). There’s nothing wrong with believers approaching the journey differently—as long as we have respect for those whose approach is different from ours. Too often we dismiss those who aren’t in step with our distinctives. We end up creating an “us vs. them” mentality within the walls of Christianity.

This issue of distinctives, more than any other, is what drives good people away from church. When these things become the dominant focus—stressing who’s right and who’s wrong—people get fed up and leave. Who can blame them?

I want more than anything to help disconnected believers find their way back to faithful, thriving Christian community. Deep down, our alienated brothers and sisters long to be in fellowship. It’s on us in the church to make a way for that to happen. I outline ways to do this in my book—and I’ve personally seen it happen for dozens of disaffected Christians I know. By boiling down the core of faith to its essentials, we help people reconnect with their Creator, Savior and Guide—and that makes it easier for them to stay in the game.

Christian community is what I want to bring these disconnected believers back to. I am so convinced that only in community can we reach our highest level of spiritual growth. Only in community do we have other brothers and sisters in the faith to share with and ask for prayer and guidance in this ever turbulent world in which we live.

I know for me, when I was disconnected from my faith community for a while, I felt alone and God was my only comforter. Now, God is the supreme comforter, but I can tell you that it has made a huge difference when I eventually came back to Church and then back to relationship with other believers. It is in those relationships with other believers that we can be real and vulnerable and live out what Christ was trying to create with the disciples. He was investing his life into theirs so they could experience the richness of a Christ centered community.

I wrote A simpler Faith so that those who have been away from Christian community for any length of time could enjoy that kind of connection with other believers once again.

Learn more about Ed’s upcoming book A Simpler Faith here.

Ed Galisewski is a real life “Joe Palooka”—a big, good-natured guy. A men’s ministry leader for fifteen years, Ed has ministered to literally thousands of people. He has been in and out (and in again) of church, learning to overcome his own struggles with the institution while still loving the body of Christ.

Ed and his wife Lynette live in Littleton Colorado with their two children son Braun and daughter Bryn.

Since Jeff and I have both put out books on publishing and writing (A Path to Publishing is my introduction to nonfiction publishing), we exchanged some questions and answers for each other via e-mail. Here’s our running e-mail conversation about writing and publishing:

Ed’s Question

You often provide simple, straightforward ways to to get down to the business of writing on your blog, and I’m often impressed with the clarity and focus of your writing. How do you avoid distractions or the temptation to stall when you dig into a writing project?

Jeff’s Answer

Any image of productivity I project is an illusion. I am lazy, undisciplined, and unmotivated. I need to trick myself into doing the things that I must. Even with writing, I am this way.

How do I avoid distractions and the temptation to stall? Well, first of all, I stall every day. But I also realize that I am my own worst enemy. I am what is holding me back. In order to push through, I have to realize there is a cost to my not sharing my work — a pretty big one. The fear of not doing work that matters forces me to create, forces me to ship (even when I’m scared a project isn’t ready).

I take things in small steps, little by little. If I ever tackled a big project, understanding how large it was, I wouldn’t begin. Instead, I break it into small chunks and take it one step at a time. This is how you train for marathons, and this is how you write a book.

Jeff’s Question

Can you really live as a freelancer? How do you make a living from writing? What advice would you have for those starting out?

Ed’s Answer

With a few caveats and qualifiers, it is possible to make a respectable living as a freelance writer. It’s really tough to make a living as a full time book author or magazine writer, so I’ll just say that a sure-fire way to earn a living as a freelance writer is through business writing. Keeping things ridiculously brief, I’d suggest starting by creating excellent work that you can share as part of a portfolio on your website: articles, blog posts, e-books, etc. Then, and some may be shocked by this, advertise yourself in places like Craig’s List. I have an ad on ThumbTack.com which I can regularly re-post to Craig’s List. My approach is a bit like your publishing strategy: create something that is valuable and let others find you.

I’ve found work in a variety of ways, but by advertising myself, I’ve attracted the kinds of clients that I want to work for and who can pay my rates. I should add the caveat that I get medical benefits through my wife, and I would need double my current client load in order to fully support us financially by myself–something that I think I could do but don’t want to try since my plan is to keep writing as a stay at home dad. If you’re starting out, the most important conversations you need to have are with your spouse or roommates, as your income may fluctuate for a year or so while you get yourself established.

Ed’s Question

What investment, practice, or strategy has paid off beyond your expectations?

Jeff’s Answer

What has worked for me is actually writing. Getting up every day and writing (no matter what) for a year made me a better writer than occasionally writing for decades. I used to write when I felt inspired, and I would write a LOT. Now, I just write a little each day, and it has made me better than ever. That in addition to reading a lot has made me a better writer.

Jeff’s Question

Ed, for someone who is approaching their first book (I know you’ve written a few), what advice do you have for them? How do you start? How do you finish? How do you keep showing up after it gets hard?

Ed’s Answer

In order to start a nonfiction book (which is what I write), I’m a big believer in outlining but also trusting my instincts to write a section if I’m in a groove. I use sub-headings in my chapters, but now I also break things down into small bits: opening story, big idea, illustration, summary, transition to next point, and then another story. That may sound like there isn’t a whole lot of magic to that approach, but a nonfiction book needs to have a sound structure where each idea and story connects so that readers know why they need to keep reading. In my experience, good outlines make magic possible.

When writing gets hard, I change format. I make revisions on  printed pages. I restart problem chapters on a legal pad where the writing is low stakes. I begin each day with editing before the creative writing. Sometimes I just go to bed.

In order to finish, you need a deadline—something that’s essential if you’re self-publishing. I know I’ve done all that I can when I’m really sick of the book. Having just sent the first draft of my next book out, I’m really happy I won’t have to look at it for a while!

Ed’s Question

For those who have been blogging for a little while but don’t feel like they’re getting anywhere, what would you suggest they do?

Jeff’s Answer

Well, you have two options: Quit or keep going.

If you quit, you can start over or move on. It may be that blogging is not for you. Contrary to what some people think, I don’t believe everyone should have a blog. It’s a great way to express yourself, but if you’re not willing to do the work, why bother? You’re probably better suited to invest your time and talent elsewhere.

That said, if you decide to keep going — if you conclude that blogging actually is for you — then be honest: Are you really providing the best possible content you can? Or are you doing what I did for years, pushing out mediocre stuff and trying to pass it off as excellent? So many people online want an audience or more attention.

Our world is addicted to celebrity, and now with social media, we can all be “famous.” The challenge, though, is to be famous for the right reasons — not because your controversial or contentious, but because you actually have something meaningful to say.

It’s hard to give general advice, but if you’re like me, you may find that you weren’t completely respecting the craft of blogging. Maybe you saw other writers out there “making it” and thought you could do better. But when you started doing it every day, you realized how hard it actually was. I suggest humbling yourself and becoming a student. I am always learning what I don’t know — as it relates to writing, technology, and even human motivation.

For me, I needed to quit and start over. Doing this gave me a fresh start and enabled to say what I really wanted to say. I blogged for five years before I had any kind of audience. If you aspire to reach people, be prepared to practice and do the work. It may happen more quickly than you thought, or it may take time. But if you do the work, you’ll reap the rewards.

Jeff’s Question

What’s the secret to getting published? We’ve all heard the pat answers, but what’s been your experience? Is there something that doesn’t get talked about – something important?

Ed’s Answer

There are so many different ways people can get published, but I do have one tip and one secret. The tip is this: go to conferences and get to know the editors. Ask them what they’re excited about and ask yourself, “Can I work with this person?” and “Will this person invest in me and my ideas?” Coffeehouse Theology happened in part because I clicked with the acquisition editor.

My secret, which may not be much of a secret to some people, is that your experiences will define what you write and editors will notice when you have a story to tell. So either dig into your past and find your story or go out to serve other people and live a story that you can tell or that helps you write with greater insight. One of the first editors who saw the early, early draft of what became Coffeehouse Theology asked what kinds of experiences I had in ministry and with theology. I didn’t have enough, and I had to do more than research and study. I had to get out and minister. The less I live my days obsessed with myself, the easier it is to write my stories when I’m alone. The more I push myself beyond my boundaries, the better my writing.

I can’t thank Jeff enough for the time he took to answer my questions. All the best on your upcoming book Jeff!

About Jeff Goins

From Jeff’s About page: “I live with my wife Ashley and our dog Lyric and have been working from home for a nonprofit called Adventures in Missions since 2006.

I’ve written and guest-blogged for a number of publications and blogs. For more about my work, see my writing portfolio.

I also help organizations with their marketing, communications, and creativity. If you want to work with me or have me come speak to your team, give me a shout.”

Giving up on any hope of making a profit had a way of sharpening my focus, training my heart to think beyond bank accounts, page views, and marketing platforms (though I will see a few benefits along these lines in the long run). Giving a book away is all about a passion for an idea, believing in my message to the point that I’m willing to share it as widely as possible at any cost.

I didn’t hold back with my latest E-book project. I created something that has value. Even a free book shouldn’t be a waste of someone’s time. I offered readers a chance to buy it for $.99 because I wanted to both provide a simple download option and a chance for them to support my work. However, the free download links on my site provided the same ideas and the same format.

Part of my motivation for this latest adventure in publishing had to do with helping to clean up a really big mess—a mess that I’ve contributed to over the years—divisions among Christians.

As I’ve shared my thoughts on unity and processed how we can make things better on this blog, a central idea emerged. It was not only worthy of an E-book, it was important enough to give it away.

I don’t plan on giving all of my books away this widely, but I know that I’ll do it again. It has been a refreshing reminder that storing up treasure in heaven and blessing others can sometimes fall aside, neglected while I try to build up financial security. Sometimes we have callings to fulfill and wrongs to set right.

Sometimes I need to try something new—something that doesn’t quite make sense but feels just so right that I can’t resist the call of adventure.

This post is part of Bonnie Gray’s Thursday Faith Jam. Visit Faith Barista today to read more stories about adventure.

UPDATE: All of the promotions for January 2012 are now over, but you can still pick up Divided We Unite by subscribing to my e-newsletter. At some point I’ll change the e-newsletter giveaway to a different book.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, but you haven’t picked up my book Coffeehouse Theology: Reflecting on God in Everyday Life, I think I know what your problem is. You’ve probably gone to Amazon and noticed that the best possible deal is a $2 – $3 used copy that probably has all of the awesome passages underlined.

SPOILER ALERTS!!!

Who wants to read a book with all of the underlining, stars, and exclamation points already inserted? And then you need to pay an extra $3 or $4 for lousy media mail shipping which ensures you’ll probably get the book sometime in 2013. If there’s still a scrap of the cover left on it, you’ll be lucky.

Sighing, you realize that it won’t be much cheaper to pick up the E-book version of Coffeehouse Theology for $7.99, and then you’ll be robbed of seeing the beautiful cover art. This is worse than a Catch 22. It’s like a Catch 44—twice as bad.

My Insanely Awesome January E-book Offer

But wait, there is hope. What if I told you that you could download every major book I’ve written for between $3.99 and $4.99??? Would you question my ability to do basic math? Though I wouldn’t doubt that, I’ve worked on these numbers for days now, and I keep coming up with $3.99 or $4.99.

The trick is that this super-awesome, mathematically impossible feat of book discounting is only good for the month of January. Here are the links you need to pick up all three of my books:

• Coffeehouse Theology is $2.99 at NavPress (offer is done)
• Divided We Unite: Practical Christian Unity is a free download (optional $.99)
• A Path to Publishing is $.99

Thanks for checking out my work. And believe me, this is a fun way to get my writing in front of lots of people, so please do share these offers with your friends who are curious about how theology works, wrestle with Christian unity, or dream about publishing a nonfiction book. You’re not robbing me by passing this offer along to as many people as possible.

And speaking frankly, even if you did rob me, I’m so bad at math I wouldn’t notice.

The E-book will be a free download for my readers, though I’ll also include an option if you want to pay $.99 for it and support my writing a little—or at least buy me 1/3 a cup of coffee. Stay tuned for a fantastic day on Friday with a great story and a free E-book!

Want to get a sneak peek? You can read the first half of my book here.

About Divided We Unite…

When Jesus prayed that his followers would be one, he wasn’t setting up his future disciples for failure. In fact, the prayer of Jesus may be closer to fulfillment than many Christians in thousands of denominations suspect.

Christian unity isn’t created by signing off on a list of bullet point beliefs. The Holy Spirit unites disciples of Jesus together with bonds that are stronger than any divisions. Though Christians are divided into different denominations, it is possible to practice charitable Christian unity in the midst of very real divisions. Christians are divided, but through God’s Spirit, they can remain united.

Practical Christian unity is the art of living in the unity of the Spirit without letting divisions cut Christians off from one another. Practical, everyday unity is tough and costly, but Divided We Unite shows a way forward that rests fully in the power of God without neglecting the role of each Christian.

You have a tree on the cover. That’s fascinating. I mean, why not a bush, shrub, or house plant? What is the significance of this so-called tree?

I love the metaphor of the tree when it comes to family history, and when I saw this painting by a good friend of mine, Freiman Stoltzfus, I knew I wanted it to be the cover. It’s a tree in which all four seasons are present, and the roots are growing down into Lancaster City. This issue of seasons also created an ongoing theme throughout the book.

I presume you wrote this book from the perspective of someone who is part of a family—with the roots possibly representing your “family.” While we wouldn’t say that you “dug up” your roots, as that would imply destroying them, what did your “perusal” of your roots teach you about your family? Did this project change you?

I lived among the rolling hills of Lancaster County from as early as I could remember until I went to college, only to return after 15 years of living elsewhere. Something I unearthed while writing the book was how much my home town meant to me, and how much I’ve always wanted my kids to experience that same feeling of belonging and support.

How do you see this book cornering the growing Amish book market?

This question made me smile. I certainly don’t have any corner on the Amish market. I see this book as primarily a reflection on life and death, the heritage we receive and pass on, and what it means to accept the family that brought you into existence. The Amish nature of the book is secondary. Or maybe even lower on the list than that.

How do you see this book competing against the popular vampire books? And did you know there is an Amish vampire book on the market?

I haven’t read any of the popular vampire books (yet), but I would imagine the pace is quick. My book is a very quiet book, hopefully not in a boring way, but in a way that will deliver a reflective experience for the reader. Besides, most of the Amish have garlic in their gardens. They don’t really have a vampire problem in Lancaster.

We all know the Amish are the people on our oatmeal containers, but what else will readers learn about the Amish if they read your book?

Sorry, the oatmeal guy is a Quaker! No beard. But I do get a little bit into the traditions of my Amish ancestors – their marriage and burial traditions. The way they approach death and support their older community. I grew up here and have Amish relatives, but I was still rather fascinated by the things I learned about Amish customs.

For those who want to “peruse” their family roots, what words of advice do you have?

Start now! Every year that passes represents stories forgotten or lost. If I would have done this ten years ago, I could have interviewed a great-uncle of mine who lived to be 101. 101! He was alive in the 1800s! Don’t wait to start collecting your family stories.

Where can readers find your book?

Thanks, Ed. You can order My Amish Roots at my website (http://shawnsmucker.com/store) or on Amazon (http://amzn.to/uuckly)

Thanks Shawn for putting up with my foolishness and silly questions. If you want to read interviews that actually involve real questions, check out these fine folks:

• Jennifer Luitweiler
• The Daily Retort
• Andrea Cumbo
• Alise…Write!

It’s not enough to say that this is a funny book. Nor is it adequate to say it’s an insightful book. You’re just scratching the surface if you if you say it will encourage you to live better. Jen’s book does all of these things. Can you imagine someone making a book about running, dog training, and spiritual development fun reading? Jen’s book is one of a kind, and without further ado, here’s Jen’s post:

Ed recently published a post in which he claimed that revival is not a snap-your-fingers and be- changed-forever-and-permanently-all-for-the glory-of God kind of deal. He made the case that coming to terms with our junk is a step toward stewarding the hearts God gave us. As much as I love to be contrary—just ask my dad—I can’t argue with Ed. After all, it took me a year of running to figure out I was no longer running to train The Dog. Rather, and unbeknownst to me, I was tracing the slow and circuitous route of my own revival.

Instead of encouraging The Dog’s business to take place outside, I was dropping junk left and right. As I took breath after breath, step after step, all alone on the trail, I forgot about The Dog. A vast landscape of time stretched out before me as I pounded along.

I grew up in the church, the daughter of a pastor in a small suburban town. My memories of these years danced before me as I ran, taunting me with their unchanging nature, sometimes coaxing a smile from my lips as I struggled to breathe. But more often, they brought the clenching tightness of hurt.

I ran with an eye toward the past. I ran, remembering the ways the church had hurt me. I thought of the ways I had cherished that hurt as a token of how tainted the church can be, clinging to this worn evidence when moving into new faith groups, ready to throw my data in their faces the minute things went south. And they would go south. That’s what relationships in the church do.

But running changes a person, physically and intellectually and sometimes emotionally. My body could run farther than I had ever dreamed. I ran and ran and ran, increasing my miles. The more time I had to be on the trail, the more time I had to polish these memories to a glinting shiv.

Because I could run farther and faster, the better I felt. A fog of depression had cleared—a story for another day—revealing an ache of sadness I had tried to ignore. I had clung far too long my anger at the church. I was mad. Mad at the church because as a child, in this particular church, I felt the cold eye of judgment and rarely the warm grasp of grace.

Running gave me the physical and emotional strength to notice that what lurked beneath all that anger was the raw pain of a child without the words to express her intense sureness of her own inadequacy. I could have continued to push the hurt behind the anger, like a shadow. But, like I said, running changed me. Instead of clutching the anger, I allowed my mind linger on an idea: worth, I had learned, is borne of performance, discipline and fitting in.

My dirty little secret, the junk I needed to untangle from about my clumsy feet, was the conviction that I would never, ever be exactly what God needed or intended when He built me.

There is a revival when long-held standards are turned on their ear by extravagants grace. One could think here of Paul, whose life shifted course on the road to Damascus. When the veil of misunderstanding was yanked aside, and studied from the distance of time, intellect and health, jumping to the wrong conclusion about my worth seemed ludicrous. I know that my worth does not come from being appropriate, or tidy, or cognizant of Bible verses or having an opinion on which translation is best. My value does not come from how fast or far I can run, or how well I perform any given task. My worth comes from being a daughter of a risen King. That is no small thing.

When I let go of the anger long enough to look at it, I realized, too that it wasn’t The Church, that had wronged me so grievously. It was some people in a church. Recognizing all of these ideas as junk allowed me also to see that those very people, for all they said and did to me, belonged also to a God of love.

Sometimes we wallow. We want to be angry. We want to stomp our feet and pout and pore over the details so that we can feel justified. The longer we wallow, the easier it is to forget what we’re mad about. As part of my renewal, I needed to drop the anger, the hurt and the lie I had swallowed. It was not easy. It did not feel good. But what I gave up is worth far less than what I gained.

Thanks Jen! Don’t forget to visit her blog and check out her book here!

I know, crazy, right?

The only downside was that I had to let it charge for 3 hours before I could read anything on it.

This morning I woke up and it felt a bit like Christmas. I registered it before I poured myself coffee, which should tell you where the Nook ranked in my priorities. Before I poured my second cup, I had downloaded the New Living Translation Bible, my favorite Bible for general reading and devotions.

I’ve been reading through Matthew, but I was still figuring out the page-turning buttons—as in, I just sort of tapped at the screen until something happened—so I just read something after I tired of experimenting. Who reads instructions anyway?

The passage I landed on was the one with Jesus and rich young man who was told to sell everything he has, give it to the poor, and then follow Jesus. I thought that was a pretty ironic passage to read on my brand spanking new E-book reader.

God’s Call, Sacrifices, and “Possessions”

I’ve actually been thinking through that passage quite a bit over the past few weeks because I’ve been both a child of privilege thanks to my hard-working family and a relatively poor graduate student thanks to God’s calling in my life. 2010 was one of those years I’d rather forget, except that it was chock full of lessons and blessings that set the course I’m on today. In 2011 many things have started to come together as I pursue writing full time.

Oddly enough, I see my Nook as a small part of that path, God’s calling in my life.

My wife watched me research e-readers from the moment they hit the market because I wanted to understand their impact on the book industry. I needed to understand what it’s like to read on a book on one of those new fangled devices if my calling really is to be an author.

Embracing that calling has meant sacrifices in many areas. I think I can squeeze into the Kingdom with a Nook in my saddle bag. I mean, have you seen how thin that thing is?

But this all does bring up issues about money and possessions, and particularly how they tie into our callings. I don’t think Jesus demands that we all become dirt poor in order to follow him. You have to eat. You need shelter. I know missionaries who travel the world practically like vagabonds toting MacBook Pros that they regularly use to create all kinds of things for their ministry.

The Bible doesn’t intend to give us a precise blueprint for every aspect of our lives. I don’t see the story of the rich young man as a command to rid ourselves of everything, but rather as a dire warning about making sure our possessions don’t prevent us from following Jesus.

Have We Surrendered All Objects to Jesus?

As I clung to my Nook this morning and read the words of Jesus, I prayed a simple prayer of surrender. Even that silly little Nook is a tool that God can use. If we’re willing to open ourselves up to his Spirit’s probing, God can reveal the sin in our lives that keeps us from him and prevent us from clinging to our plans, desires, and even objects—be they digital or not.

I think the reason why I read that passage this morning was to remind me that possessions aren’t important. They’re really just things that bought with money. They’re not special or significant on their own. Even calling these objects “possessions” can be problematic.  However, when we are yielded to God’s plans for our lives, he can use these items for his purpose.

It’s my hope and prayer that everything I own becomes a tool in God’s plans for my life. I don’t want my possessions to become status symbols or idols that consume my time that should otherwise be spent pursuing God’s Kingdom.

Ironically, the minimalist reading experience of the Nook emphasizes the words on the page to the point that you forget you have an electronic device in front of you. There is spiritual wisdom in that design.