:: In.a.Mirror.Dimly ::

Prior to leaving for vacation, Thomas Nelson sent me a review copy of Ian Morgan Cron’s new book Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me. Cron is the author of the acclaimed book Chasing Francis, and has now shared a memoir of his childhood that walks us through his early years with an alcoholic father into his present day calling as an Episcopal priest.

I’ve read rave reviews of the book and could hardly put it down over the two days it took to read it beside a cool Adirondack lake, but some things didn’t work for me. Here’s my take:

The Good in Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me

Cron writes sparkling prose and succeeded in drawing me into his story so that I hardly put his book down. The mark of a good book in my estimation is its ability to keep me reading without thinking about “how” it’s written. Cron treats his readers to wonderful descriptions, solid dialogue, profound introspection, and poignant reflection.

While I can’t quite relate to the significance he places on communion, I felt that he made a strong case for the sanctity of the sacrament and how the ceremony connected him with God. I suspect that many of my fellow Protestants will appreciate his attempt to flesh out those experiences, even if we’ve never quite met God in the same way through a mass.

Perhaps one of the best reasons to read this book is to learn about how someone else has encountered God. Cron writes with disarming honesty and tells his story in such a way that readers can’t help but appreciate his perspective and wisdom after enduring a tumultuous childhood.

The Critique of Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me

For all of the good I could say about this book, I didn’t love it. This is a bit awkward for me since I write not only as a reader but as an author, and I really hate to publicly criticize anyone else’s book. However, I can’t publish the good without the bad in a credible review, so here we go…

Ever since reading Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes and Tis, I kind of feel like we have all we need in the “miserable childhood/alcoholic” department of books. There’s only so many times you can read a narrative about someone’s self destructive decisions before you start to feel like a prying voyeur taking advantage of someone else’s darkest moments for you own entertainment.

Sometimes the attempts to wring meaning out of various moments felt forced at best, though I know that I often do the same with my own writing.

Misery alone doesn’t cut it for memoir. Triumph is a foregone conclusion here. There needs to be something startling, ironic, or unique that happens in the midst of that terrible time in an author’s life. For example, food critic Ruth Reichel was raised by a manic depressive mother who was a horrible cook and who fed her company enough raw and rotten food that it’s a wonder she didn’t kill anyone. Reichel’s story in Tender at the Bone isn’t just about misery. It’s about discovering food, herself, and a whole new life in the midst of a mother that is clearly one of a kind.

This memoir misses whatever a memoir like Reichel’s brings to the table.

Cron serves up powerful moments, touching tributes to important people, and heartbreaking let downs. However, since we already know how the story ends, I found myself uninterested in the story of how the author got there, even if it makes for a very powerful and relevant testimony. The fact that Cron’s father was an alcoholic is certainly tragic to read, but I didn’t feel like there was anything new going on in this story beyond the fact that the protagonist was someone different from the various other characters I know personally or read about who have had rough childhoods.

Incredible testimony? Yes. Encouraging points? Absolutely. Have we heard ones like this before? Plenty of times.

That doesn’t rob the story of its power necessarily, but its familiarity to most evangelical readers makes for a ho-hum story arc that follows a well-worn path.

Perhaps my number one complaint about this book was the mention of the CIA in the title. Cron’s father was a member of the CIA and the hints at his father’s history sucked me in with their mystery. At the mid-point of the book, he mentions pictures of his father playing golf with president Ford. I longed to find out more about what his father was doing, what kind of man his father was away from home, and how Cron dealt with the tension of his father’s two lives.

The CIA disappears for the most part and we slip into the testimony part of the story. We read little else about the CIA beyond a few stories that hint at something bigger going on with his father. While I understand that the CIA is secretive and wouldn’t want to divulge much information to Cron about his father, I kept feeling like I’d been hit with a bait and switch. The CIA figured so minimally in the story, that it hardly merited a mention on the cover.

While this is Cron’s story to tell, I felt that he’d opened some fascinating lines of inquiry at his father’s funeral at the start of the book, especially with the CIA officers who tell him how important his father was to them, and then failed to follow through on them. Cron wondered if they were talking about the same man who hardly paid him any attention beyond yelling at him, but we read nothing more about that line of inquiry. As a reader, I felt let down that such a critical question was left unanswered. Cron could have at least written at length about why he didn’t try to answer it.

Should You Read This Book?

I read several reviews of this book that whole-heartedly endorsed it with nary a critique. The endorsements read like a who’s who in the Christian publishing pantheon. What do I know?

It’s hard to find a good memoir to read, and if you enjoy memoir, this is a good one. However, I don’t feel like I could recommend it without my caveats above. It’s a good book with excellent writing, writing that is perhaps better than anything I’ve read recently, but the story will smack many readers as quite familiar.

There are some powerful quotes and laugh out loud one-liners that certainly sped me along, but I just couldn’t overlook the book’s weak points. I have the sense that my friends who read a lot of memoirs and nonfiction Christian books will share my disappointments, even if they still share my overall positive impression of the book.

If you’re new to memoir or even the typical evangelical testimony, this is a good place to start. If you’re looking to read about the way someone else handled a rough childhood, Cron has some gems of wisdom. If you simply want to be encouraged, you won’t be let down.

Lastly, if you’re an aspiring writer hoping to improve your craft for writing nonfiction, buy this book and read it several times. Cron’s masterful prose will drive home just how difficult it is to write a crisp nonfiction work, especially memoir. Though the story struck me as flat at times, the writing consistently moved me along. That alone makes me look forward to his next book.

UPDATE (7/26/11): If you want a chance to win a copy of this book, leave a comment below. The drawing for a free book closes on Thursday at 12 pm EST. Share the title of your favorite memoir, discuss what you thought of this book (if you read it that is), and praise me for the “sparkling” prose in my review. Our rabbits may have a role in choosing the winner. I’ll e-mail the winner on Thursday.

A year or two ago, I found a post on one of Anne Jackson’s blogs about her addiction to pornography. It was the first time that I’d read about a woman with a porn addiction. It wasn’t that I didn’t think women could be addicted to porn. It was just completely off my radar.

There’s a reason for that. Well, at least two big ones.

First of all, we focus a lot of time on pornography as something that men struggle with. While men are in the majority with pornography viewing and addiction, the number of women struggling with pornography is still quite high.

Secondly, the church doesn’t usually present itself as a good place for women to discuss addictions to pornography and sex.

I suspect that our problems are rooted in part in an unnecessarily low view of women due to misinterpreting certain passages of the Bible concerning women, while ignoring those that uplift them. This creates an undercurrent of devaluing women that may leave them feeling like second class citizens, and therefore minimizes their problems in light of the “real” problems that men face. I don’t want to get lost on a rabbit trail on this point since I need to keep this post moving, but I’ll be happy to clarify this a bit in the comments.

Another reason why women aren’t dealing with their addictions to pornography and sex in the church is the crippling shame they bring. It’s tough for anyone to come clean about struggles with lust, pornography, or sex outside of marriage. There’s fear of being condemned, alienated, and cast out as hopeless.

Today I’ve asked author Crystal Renaud to drop by and talk about her new book Dirty Girls Come Clean in order to help spread awareness about the solutions available for women and because I want everyone who struggles with addiction, pornography or otherwise, to find freedom through God’s Spirit. Crystal is a former pornography addict who now runs Dirty Girls Ministry and offers women hope and a safe place to talk about their addictions.

Matthew Paul Turner asked me to host Crystal on my blog, and I’m glad he suggested it. My questions are in bold with Cystal’s answers below:

How big is this problem? What are some statistics of women who struggle with pornography addiction?

According to a recent survey, 17% of women struggle with an addiction to pornography, while 25% of Christian women also struggle with pornography. So depending on the demographic of women, it’s one in four women or one in six women. And as far as web traffic, one in three (40% of) visitors to adult websites are women.

[Crystal has provided the following links to the statistics she quotes: stats on internet pornography, internet pornography statistics, and updated pornography statistics.] 

Can you share a little bit of your struggle struggles with pornography and sexual addiction with us?

I first came into contact with pornography at the age of 10 when I found a pornographic magazine in my older brother’s bathroom. I had to decide in that moment whether I would turn away or look at the material. I chose the latter. What followed that fateful decision was an eight-year addiction to pornography and pornography related behavior. I didn’t come clean about my addiction until I was nearly 19 years old when a woman I trusted shared with me about her past struggles with pornography use. It was through her confession that I was able to confess my own struggles and finally surrender this addiction to Jesus Christ and to a relationship of accountability with that woman.

There are not many resources for women with pornography and sexual addiction, what led you to write Dirty Girls Come Clean?

When I first began ministering in the area of pornography and sexual addiction, I never imagined I would write a book on women’s pornography addiction. But as I led support groups, I could see the lack of resources available for this kind of support. So in February of 2008, I made the decision (with the nudge of the Holy Spirit) to begin writing.

Overcoming an addiction is certainly a process. What would you say to women who fall back into destructive habits and struggle with guilt?

I tell them that it wasn’t overnight that they became addicted, so it won’t be overnight that they find complete freedom. Recovery from any affliction is a process and we must continue to embrace the process, even if we slip back into it. Getting back up is the most important step we can take.

You also started a ministry in February of 2009 for women called Dirty Girls Ministries? What made you choose the name “Dirty Girls” to describe your ministry?

The name Dirty Girls isn’t about referring to women who are addicted to porn or who have been addicted to porn as dirty. One of the most common responses I hear from women in the throes of addiction is, “I feel do dirty.” Because of this, we are about taking on that stigma so many women are already feeling and providing them a safe place to come and find help and hope for recovery through Jesus Christ.

We understand that Dirty Girls is a strong name and may offend some. But we also see that it attracts an audience we might not otherwise reach—those directly searching for pornography. We often receive messages from women (and men) who were browsing the web for porn but found help instead.

What are some of the core struggles for women who are pornography and sexually addicted?

What’s important to know about pornography and sexual addiction, it’s almost never about sex. It’s a core intimacy disorder. We see women all the time addicted to pornography simply because they are using it as a way to cope with pain in their lives. Just like women who cut, or have an eating disorder, pornography functions in the same way in their lives.

Typically the core struggles are unhealed wounds from sexual abuse, absent parent(s), spiritual abuse (the failure of a spiritual leader in their lives) and others.

How are the sexual struggles of women similar to the sexual struggles of men? How are they different?

Men are typically classified as the “visually stimulated” of the human race. While this is true, women are also visually stimulated and are attracted to pornography in many of the same ways as men are. But what makes women and women’s use of pornography all the more destructive and potentially dangerous is our innate desire for emotional connection. 81% of women, who frequent pornographic websites, will eventually escalate their addiction to in-person encounters because of their desire to be close to someone.

Thanks Crystal for your ministry and this book!

In order to learn more about Dirty Girls Come Clean and Cystal’s acronym for recovery from addition: S.C.A.R.S. (S—Surrender; C—Confession; A—Accountability; R—Responsibility; S—Sharing ), visit Crystal’s web site or check out a sample online.

When I began to dig into the world of biblical studies at a Christian college, I began to read commentaries. Some focused on the literary forms and cultural settings of each book. Others dug into what the books of the Bible meant.

Both had value, but neither provided particularly interesting reading. Sometimes I felt like they focused on the pieces of scripture to the detriment of the whole. While there is a place for commentaries that dig into the language and historical setting of the Bible, I longed for something that would help me read scripture with fresh eyes and do a better job of connecting its implications to everyday life.

It was as if I understood Jesus alright in his setting and found the Bible fascinating, but I was still reading scripture in a rather detached manner.

The books that tried to fill this need didn’t quite work for me.

Perhaps the NIV Application Commentary tried the hardest to bridge this divide, but it was still tough to dig into. Today NT Wright has produced a wonderfully accessible commentary series “For Everyone” that makes good scholarship accessible, but I still hadn’t found a commentary focused specifically on connecting the narrative scope of each biblical book with today, that is, until I learned about the Resonate commentary series that is edited by Paul Louis Metzger and David Sanford.

I write about Resonate as an endorser with a free copy by my nightstand, but I honestly dislike reviewing books so much that I would only put myself through it for a book that I truly enjoy and value. Metzger is a theologian who has successfully managed to engage culture without becoming captive to it, and he has given us a readable series of essays on John that make for great reading.

I’m a big fan of Metzger’s book Consuming Jesus, and after reading this commentary of John, When Love Comes to Town, I’m impressed with his approach. He describes his angle in the following way:

“The aim of the Resonate series is to provide spiritual nourishment that is biblically and theologically orthodox and culturally significant. The form each volume in the series will take is that of an extended essay” (12).

Resonate offers a big picture view of the biblical text, digs into some of the key points (remember, the goal is spiritual nourishment, not comprehensive explanations), and works readers through a reflective essay that seamlessly integrates the message with application to today. It doesn’t feel contrived or clunky, which is nothing short of a miracle if you’re familiar with books that try to do this.

Perhaps my greatest pet-peeve is the “Kids today!” approach to some Christian writers take in opposition to culture—as if the writer needs to attack everything suspect in the culture today with “solid biblical truth.” Metzger gives priority to the Bible and its controlling narrative for creation, while studying and interpreting culture in order to apply the Bible to culture. His approach is more conversational and ultimately more constructive.

The Gospel of John commentary in the Resonate series is readable and presents a fresh reading of scripture that is far more readable than a commentary, but still quite substantive. You won’t find insight into the language and history of the Bible, but then again, you can find that elsewhere—Resonate does not aim to offer those things because we’re practically buried in commentaries and dictionaries.

I mean, have you seen one of those Christian book catalogues???

This is a book that pastors and students can dig into when their eyes are crossing after parsing Greek verbs and reading primary source material from ancient times.

This is a book for the church-goer who won’t pick up a thick commentary, but still craves a thorough explanation and application of John’s Gospel.

I’m currently reading NT Wright’s commentary John for Everyone in my small group, and I think Wright and Metzger provide an excellent one-two punch—Wright offering some accessible background material and details, with Metzger tapping into the big picture of the story and some critical application points for today.

Reader be warned, this is a thick book with lots of text on each page, but it is quite readable and engaging. The pages go by pretty fast, the insights are helpful, and Metzger writes with a personal engagement and honesty that is lacking in many books in the biblical studies category.

For more info, swing by the IVP Resonate page or read a sample chapter.

My thanks to Paul, David, and IVP for the review copy!

I’m continuing book review week with a look at Norris Chumley’s Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer. The project represents eight years of work on a documentary about the monks in the Eastern church who commit themselves to saying a simple prayer:

Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on a me, a sinner.

I first ran into this prayer about six or seven years ago at a church service that emphasized prayer and meditation. While I appreciated it then, reading this book about the way monks and nuns use it in seeking of God drove home how vitally important it can be.

The book unfolds as a series of journeys to various monasteries throughout the Eastern church, beginning at St. Anthony’s cave and the monastery below it. Part travelogue, part history of mysticism, and part manual on prayer, the book introduces places and concepts that may be new to some Christians in the west.

Perhaps most striking of all is the consistent way that monks and nuns feel unable to put into words the intimacy of God’s presence. The Jesus Prayer helps them focus on God, and in their solitude they gain something that I sense many people know little about.

The book is both interesting reading and spiritually encouraging. I found myself regularly feeling a nudge to say the Jesus Prayer while reading this book. Reading about men and women who are experiencing the joy of God’s presence is a great motivator for deeper spiritual discipline.

The fact that so many monks were willing to offer their perspectives on prayer is particularly encouraging, although there is a sort of underlying tension throughout the book about whether the typical person with a day job can truly meet with God on the same level as a monk whose day (and night) job is prayer.

Without a doubt, this book accomplishes its goal in making the Jesus Prayer more accessible for a wider audience. The writing is accessible, even if the story drags a bit at times with accounts of actually getting to the monasteries.

For readers looking for a fresh perspective on prayer, some advice on simple devotional practices, and a bit of history that many in the west overlook, Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer is an excellent option.

More by Norris Chumley

The Compelling Spiritual Discipline of Asceticism

Other Stops on the Blog Tour:

Tuesday, April 12th: Joy in this Journey

Wednesday, April 13th: Oh Mandie

Thursday, April 14th: Naptime diaries

Monday, April 18th: Elizabeth Esther

Tuesday, April 19th: Mom’s Mustard Seeds

Wednesday, April 20th: O me of little faith

Thursday, April 21st: The Pilot’s Wife

Friday, April 22nd: Diary of a Stay at Home Mom

Monday, April 25th: Walking in His Grace

Tuesday, April 26th: In the Heart of My Home

Wednesday, April 27th: In a Mirror Dimly

Thursday, April 28th: My Heart’s Desire

Friday, April 29th: A Minute Captured

Disclaimer: A free review copy was provided by TLC Book Tours.

While I’m happy to help spread the word about a friend’s book release, I realized a few years ago that book reviews are not my thing. There are some bloggers who love writing them. They kind of psych me out. There’s something about HAVING to do a review that makes it less fun to read a book.

I’m a pretty obsessive planner for the blog too, so I usually have a hard time finding one day for a book review. All that to say, I’ve been stalling on some reviews and interviews for some good books. I owe apologies to more authors than I can count on one hand.

This week I’m working through some book reviews. I don’t care about following any kind of format. I just have three things I want to say: what is the author trying to say, who is the audience, and will that audience want to read what that author has written. Without further ado, I’ll begin book review week with Becky Garrison’s Jesus Died for This: A Satirist’s Search for the Risen Lord.

If you took a travel narrative, spiritual memoir, critique of consumer Christianity, and a report on hopeful movements in the church today and blended them together with a heavy dose of sarcasm, you’d have Garrison’s new book.

The book offers a series of snapshots at the spiritually surreal landscape of Christianity—places where skeptics and critics may find Christianity lacking. However, she sheds light on communities and individual Christians who offer a hopeful take on Christianity. Garrison’s faith-based critique also offers positive examples and is a welcome relief from the “we suck” narrative that dominates some Christian circles.

The book has a series of cartoons by artist David Hayward that help drive home Garrison’s words in unexpectedly powerful ways.

Garrison is a writer who pulls no punches, calling it like she sees it with a journalist’s skill and the creds of an MDiv from Yale Divinity school. She refuses to fawn over trends, and poses hard questions when they need to be asked. In fact, personally speaking, if I’m worried about a trend in Christian publishing or Christianity in general, she’s one of the first people I look to for a perspective.

It’s rare to find someone with Garrison’s commitment to relationships, while remaining committed to asking the questions no one seems to be asking—at least out loud. She seeks out fresh expressions of God in our world and learns what she can, while still committing to speak her mind.

This speaking her mind has gotten her into trouble, but then again, it’s why I trust Garrison so much. She doesn’t raise the alarm for the sake of attention or self-justification, but rather asks tough questions as an honest seeker asking what readers may well be wondering on their own. It’s hard to do what she does well, and for that I’m grateful for her perspective in this book.

Jesus Died for This? is a book unlike any other, as it combines a travel narrative with personal reflections on spirituality with lessons from Christians from a number of countries. It’s spiced throughout with Garrison’s whit and wordplay—which will either endear her to readers or confuse them.

If you’re convinced that Christianity is going to hell in a hand basket (even if it’s a Rob Bell hell hand basket that doesn’t last forever), this is a book for you.

If you’re frustrated by Christianity, Garrison both feels your pain and offers some helpful guides to the Christian faith who will not disappoint.

If you’re convinced that every new form of church is awesome and can’t imagine anything going wrong, this book will give you perspective.

If you think Christianity has nothing for you, Garrison will make you think again.

If you aren’t sure you’re up for word-play, alliteration, and a heavy dose of sarcasm, I encourage you to drop by Amazon and read a bit of the book.

Jesus Died for This? cuts through the hype and consumerism and points readers to solid ground. Rather than leaving readers shaking their heads at what a mess we have,  Garrison shares her own doubts, discoveries, and connections by way of pointing out that Jesus Died to create a people committed to him and his Kingdom.

A few years ago I began to wonder what a parody of myself would look like. It was a bit painful to consider at first.

Why would I put myself through such pain?

I felt like I was taking myself and my beliefs way too seriously. I feared that I was losing my balance and not putting enough of my faith into practice. I had shifted from the more conservative (possibly fundamentalist in some ways) end of evangelicalism into the more progressive end, and I sensed myself making the same mistakes under a different banner.

A parody of myself would force me to look at myself in a different light, take some of my beliefs to their extremes, and help me figure out where I needed to change and what needed to stay the same.

As I grew more comfortable with the concept of a parody, I began to experiment with a series of posts called “Sarcastic Saturday.” It was quite hard to do, and it didn’t quite pack the punch I wanted as a parody of myself.

So I sat on the idea for a while.

In the midst of the Rob Bell “HellGate” debate, the wheels began to turn.

I began thinking of a parody that would hopefully help all sides step back, laugh a bit at themselves, and hopefully cool things off a bit. At the very least, a parody helps us step back and take ourselves less seriously for a moment. That has done me a world of good in making me a more loving and open conversation partner.

Out of the ideas swirling in my mind, I mashed together a parody of Bell’s book Love Wins with a parody of Twilight and all of the other vampire TV shows and books in pop culture and wrote a novella e-book that I titled Love Bites (you can still download the whole 15,600 word e-book). I didn’t have an agenda other than helping us step back from the angry debates, laugh a bit, and hopefully returning to our conversations with a little less… well… bite.

I want to make it clear that I really like Rob Bell. His book Velvet Elvis echoed many of the things I’ve been thinking (you could say it’s a more accessible take on some of the stuff I say in Coffeehouse Theology).

Hopefully everyone who reads the book noticed another character: Ned Ciwinski. Ned is a parody of myself: a bumbling, dorky writer obsessed with being relevant with theology and culture. One of my friends thought he was the hero of the story, but that was purely a mistake on my part if anyone thought that. I really wanted Ned to just provide comic relief, to get lucky at a few key points with his half-witted ideas, and to provide that parody of myself that I’ve longed to put together.

Ned Ciwinskiy reminds me that I can get lost in my theology and isolate myself to the point that I end up forgetting how to relate to others. To a certain degree, Ned was my round-about way of getting to the excellent point made by Don Miller that Jesus doesn’t need theology experts to advance his Kingdom. Sometimes the theology experts can lose their way.

I currently have a book proposal that I’m sending around that examines what we can learn from the people who rejected Jesus. The majority of those who rejected Jesus were the theology experts of his time. I’ve often written on this blog that the New Testament reads like a horror story for seminary students.

I have a feeling that Ned wouldn’t want to read a book like that, which is why I needed to write a silly story about our theology debates with vampires and a self-absorbed and self-proclaimed theology and culture expert named Ned fumbling his way through the story.

Ricky Gervais once said to Steve Carrell (who plays Michael Scott on The Office), “If you don’t know someone like Michael Scott, then you are Michael Scott.” Along similar lines, if I couldn’t write that story with Ned in it, then the truth is that I could very well become just like Ned—without the vampires I hope.

My annual April 1st book release is happening a day early due to some traveling we’ll be doing today and tomorrow. So, without further ado, I’d like to announce my next book release that you can both download AND read today:

Love Bites: A Story about Life, the Undead, and the Fate of Every Person Ever Bitten by a Vampire (Download It Now)

In this novella by Ed Cyzewski, Eva attends Stoker College in dreary Sporks, Michigan after a voice calls her there and finds intrigue, danger, and the kind of love that bites in a beautiful stranger named Thomas who believes unusual things about the undead. In fact, Thomas believes that all of the undead may be able to live forever.

Will Eva find true love without having to sacrifice herself? Will Thomas ever stop asking questions? Will Ned Ciwinski ever find a publisher for Coffeehouse Vampirology? Will Max the werewolf ever find a shirt? Unfortunately you’ll have to read all 15,600 words of this Love Wins/Twilight parody in order to find out.

You can download the full novella (all 15,600 words of it) for free here.

If you can, please consider chipping in $.99 for an ebook download from Amazon.com. It’s a huge help to me, and enables me to continue offering fun projects like this at no cost to the general public.

Don’t forget: There’s more to this than just this blog post. This is a real book you can download and read.

If you enjoy this book, please consider:

• Tweeting: “Farewell @edcyzewski! #LoveBites http://bit.ly/dPXYBy.”
• Posting to Facebook: “Farewell @Ed Cyzewski! Love Bites: http://bit.ly/dPXYBy.”
• Returning to http://inamirrordimly.com/love-bites in order to download Love Bites for $.99. Every little bit helps!
• Contacting Ed, edcyzewski (at) gmail (dot) com, so that you can learn when the Love Bites Special Edition is coming out with a discussion guide, a sample chapter from Coffeehouse Vampirology, and an exclusive interview with Ned Ciwinski.

Previous April 1st book releases:

The Lost Tweets of Jesus: Uncovering the World’s Greatest Ancient-Digital Mystery (book to download)

Coffeeshack Theology (blog post)

Christianity teaches, among other things, that God can change us and that disciples of Jesus should live different. In keeping with the teachings of the Bible, Christian leaders are held to a high standard, but what should happen when our leaders fail?

We can debate our ideals on this matter, but Pastor and author David Trotter knows what it’s like to follow Jesus, to lead a church, and to then abandon himself to a series of sins that tore apart his church, his family, and eventually himself. He writes about his experiences with powerful, raw honesty in his book Lost and Found: Finding Myself by Getting Lost in an Affair.

I won’t lie to you, this book is difficult to read. It’s hard to watch a Christian make so many destructive decisions. It killed me to watch Trotter’s wife suffer through his neglect and unfaithfulness. I hated to read about Trotter’s indulgence in an affair with his wife’s best friend. I became upset as Trotter became depressed and suicidal, eventually checking himself into a hospital for three days.

This is a book that I can’t say you’ll “enjoy.” However, David has worked hard to sharpen his writing in this self-published book. He presents more details than necessary for the purpose of his story, but the book is important because he raises issues about leaders, churches, sin, and restoration that are essential topics today.

It’s a well-written account that I found hard to put down.

David and his wife Laura are opening up their lives for the benefit of the church, and whatever your first impressions may be of their story, you’ll be a better leader or church member for having read it. I don’t mean they have all of the answers for us. I wouldn’t be surprised if some readers disagree on certain points. However, if we read David’s book we’ll be much better prepared to handle pastoral affairs with greater compassion and understanding.

The subtitle suggests that David “found himself,” but that isn’t really the point of this book. In fact, the subtitle almost turned me off to the book. Trying to find himself was the problem in the first place. He got lost because he was consumed with himself and what he wanted. What he found at the conclusion of this book wasn’t necessarily himself. He really found a core group of reliable friends, his two children, and a wife who simply defies description with her character, strength, and grasp of forgiveness.

While this is David’s story, his wife Laura outshines everyone else in the narrative.

She endured one devastation after another, and yet she was willing to work with David and to eventually take him back (something you’ll know since she wrote the afterword to the book). After taking him back she lost a number of friends who were not willing to forgive him, thereby adding to the tragedy of the story.

I don’t want to minimize David’s pain and suffering, which were severe. However, Laura’s strength to continue working and serving her children, to reconcile with David, and to even edit this book leaves me amazed.

The reconciliation of David and Laura alone makes the book worth reading.

While watching David’s painful downward spiral will alert us to the personal hell that engulfs pastors in the midst of scandals and will help us prayerfully consider ways to help them, the restoration of David and Laura’s marriage shows us that God is able to change lives, to heal, and to restore what is broken.

Whatever you think of this book, David and Laura are worthy of respect for so openly confessing and sharing their story. I can’t imagine willingly reliving such a terrible time for the sake of a book, and that alone makes this book an important source for our discussions about leadership, accountability, expectations, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

You could say that this book proves that the Gospel is true.

If we truly believe this stuff about Jesus, then we have to believe that David and Laura can be reconciled even after he ran away from her, demeaned her, and suffered a breakdown. We need to talk about the expectations we place on pastors, the power and control that pastors demand, and how we are all complicit in such scandals. However, the most important lesson from this book is one of healing and reconciliation.

Besides my qualms with the book’s title, I also noticed that David often mentioned prayer and different points of growth with God, but the details were lacking. Since David personally sent me a review copy and I’m more interested in letting him tell his story than saying “Gotcha”, I asked him to flesh that out in a blog post. His post also raises the important matters related to the ways that pastors can misuse scripture and prayer as part of the “God business.”

Super-blogger Chad Estes has another review of David’s book and an interview that gives an excellent introduction to the book and to David’s heart.

I have previously addressed pastors and affairs in the following posts:

Why Pastors Fall Into Affairs

The Dark Side of Pastors

Note to authors/readers: I don’t review many books. If you read my blog and think I may be interested, drop me a line. However, I may take a pass on it. If I do review your book, I will try to be a critical reader.

I met Dr. Bradley Wright, a sociologist at the University of Connecticut, about a year ago at a small group meeting in his home. We quickly set to talking about publishing, writing, and his upcoming book that dispels myths about the state of Christianity. Since my project at that time relied heavily on a 2007 survey by the Barna Group, I was eager to learn more.

I spent the following day getting a taste of his work at his blog, and was delighted when he handed me a copy of his book about a month ago. While I bring the perspective of a friend to the following review, I hope you’ll see why Brad’s book is essential reading for pastors, journalists, and writers of Christian nonfiction…

Review of Christians are Hate-Filled Hypocrites and Other Lies You’ve Been Told

Bradley Wright’s new book Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites…and Other Lies You’ve Been Told: A Sociologist Shatters Myths From the Secular and Christian Media">Christians are Hate-filled Hypocrites and Other Lies You’ve Been Told, dispels a number of widely held myths about Christianity that are often trumpeted from pulpits, in newspapers, and on the news. In the process of sharing his findings, Wright establishes himself as a trustworthy guide to surveys, polls, and other research, training his readers to both seek out reliable sources and to critically evaluate their methodology and analysis.

Wright’s book walks readers through myths that have taken hold of late. Are Christians living just like the rest of the world or worse? Is Christianity veering toward extinction in one generation? Based on the research available, the answer is a resounding no to those questions and many others addressed in the book.

Poorly-worded questions, small sample sizes, and faulty analysis have resulted in head-line grabbing studies and stories about the downfall and failure of Christianity. In fact, for church-attending Christians, they are generally more likely to remain married, to tell the truth, and to avoid drugs.

Wright’s conversational prose and frequent use of graphs make this a fun and easy book to read, which is myth-busting in and of itself when it comes to sociology books. An interesting sociology book? Get out of here! Hilarious one-liners sprinkled throughout each chapter add to the book’s charm and hint at Brad’s light-hearted and gentle spirit.

As the title suggests, Wright does not spare anyone from warranted criticism. There are some big names in Christianity such as Josh McDowell who regularly rely on faulty statistics that deliver more shock value than accuracy. In addition, conferences, publishers, and magazines have latched on to these polls in their marketing, and Wright gently chides them for irresponsibly utilizing faulty data.

And if you don’t think Wright’s book is important, just look at Brett McKracken’s article in the Wall Street Journal lamenting the state of Evangelical young people. While McKracken makes several salient points, he once again relies on shaky shock numbers at the front of his piece. I can’t blame McKracken for citing that poll, but if he had read Wright’s book, he may not have relied on the LifeWay poll so completely when there is conflicting data and analysis available from a professional, peer-reviewed sociologist.

Before we can prescribe solutions for what ails Christianity today, we need a clear idea of the real problems. I don’t think we need to worry about wholesale moral failure or the demise of Christianity based on Wright’s book. Though he never claims certainty about his analysis or predictions, I put his book down convinced that we’ve spent a lot of time worrying about problems that aren’t quite as severe as we’ve thought.

Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites…and Other Lies You’ve Been Told: A Sociologist Shatters Myths From the Secular and Christian Media">Pick up a copy of Brad’s book today or check out his blog.

On certain occasions when I’ve served with my in-law’s prison ministry, I’ve met some men who were entangled in the occult and all sorts of dark magic. Their conversion experiences were dramatic, spiritual encounters with Jesus. They remind me that Christianity is dealing with real spiritual powers.

I recently learned about Kristine McGuire who is a former “Christian witch.” She wrote about her experiences with the occult in a book entitled Escaping the Cauldron: What You Should Know About the Occult.

I think Kristine raises some issues that are worth considering. The little that I’ve learned about spiritual warfare has been beneficial in my own Christian walk.

Christine offers a perspective that is beyond anything I’ve ever encountered, which speaks to a void in our Christian discourse today. My interview follows. Enjoy!

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