:: in.a.mirror.dimly ::

After devoting so much of my life to reading the Bible, I’ve realized during Lent this year that I’ve been underemphasizing the importance of worship. The first commandment says we should worship the Lord only, and idolatry repeatedly caused problems for the people of Israel.

What makes me think I’m any different?

While I’m fasting from the internet in the evenings and on the weekends, I’ve also been trying to set aside twenty minutes each morning for worship. It usually involves some worship music to help me stay focused and to direct my thoughts toward God.

This has not been easy.

Purity of worship is one of the most important goals in scripture. Israel fell apart because the people failed to worship God and chose to worship and imitate idols instead. If we aren’t worshipping God and giving our devotion to him, then we’ll surely end up worshipping something or someone, whether it’s money, a goal, or even ourselves.

When we fail to worship God our thoughts are clouded by the priorities of this life and may even dehumanize us since we become like what we worship. This came up in the Old Testament when the Israelites became hardened against God and others much like their idols who lacked the ability to hear or care.

I’m reminded by this struggle to work on stopping more often during Lent to worship God and to work on sitting in his presence. This is tough to do. In fact, it’s tougher than I think it should be, which means I’m probably in greater need of more time to worship God than I could guess.

A few weeks ago I read Shane Claiborn’s book The Irresistible Revolution. I’m not sure why I’ve waited so long to read this book because I’m pretty sure I’ve been waiting all of my life to read a book like this.

Claiborn hails from Tennessee, began serving among the poor in Philly, ministered with Mother Theresa, worked as an intern at Willow Creek Community Church, and then returned to Philadelphia in order to become poor himself and to continue serving in Philadelphia. I am continually struck by Claiborn’s job description for himself: Lover.

His identity is wrapped up in the two greatest commands: to love God and to love others. Rather than defining himself as a radical missionary, truly authentic follower of Jesus, or adopting some other title within his group of like-minded Christ-followers, Claiborn has chosen to define himself according to God’s terms.

He’s a lover who is here for the purpose of loving others. The freedom that results makes my head spin.

When we run into rejection it’s easy to let the rejection define us. We can easily make the mistake of wrapping up our identity in our work, a personal quality, or a carefully cultivated image of ourselves.

Rejection strips us of these protective layers. We thought we were successful, hard workers. We thought we were smart, relevant, and insightful. We thought we were beautiful, attractive, or whatever else you want to insert here. Rejection unravels all of that and leaves us feeling exposed.

When we adopt God’s terms for our lives and take our place as his beloved people, we can start moving away from the earth-shattering consequences of rejection for anything tied to our work and even our personal qualities. We are the beloved of God, and we are created to be lovers.

“Success” in life is tied to receiving and then sharing this love of God. Living under the care of God in his Kingdom comes first. Rejection may shake us, but those who build their lives on the acceptance and love of God are built upon a rock that this world cannot upend.

It’s possible to search for the cure without seeking out the source of the remedy. It’s possible to crave something good while missing the one way to receive it.

I used to read the following passage as a lesson in loving the Bible more than God, but there’s something deeper going on. Have a look:

You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. John 5:39-40

Jesus told the Jewish leaders that they were not only fixated on the Bible, but on finding life in the Bible. While their devotion to the Bible instead of God was problematic, there’s something even more problematic. They searched the scriptures seeking everlasting life without seeking Jesus, the source of that life.

They had a good goal, but they failed to pursue the correct means. They could study the scriptures, but their quest for eternal life would fall short unless the scriptures pointed them to Jesus.

It is a good thing to seek eternal life, whether that’s freedom from sin today or the hope of an eternity with God. However, by seeking eternal life, personal holiness, or studying scripture in and of itself, we will fall short.

It’s not good to crave holiness or eternal life without craving to be with Jesus above either goal. Even these good goals can cloud our relationship with him.

In seeking Jesus first we will find the life of holiness and the relationship with God that we desire. Seeking life in the scriptures will not give us what we crave. The scriptures point us to Jesus, and until we desire Jesus above everything else, we’ll never know the fullness of the life he gives.

Bonnie over at Faith Barista has some great thoughts from the past week about where trouble fits into God’s plans. It’s quite a controversial topic, especially when folks start to tie personal tragedies and other crises with the plans of God for their lives. It’s tempting to think that God throws trouble at us

Bonnie wrapped up her post, which you should read in full, with the following statement:

“I don’t totally think that God puts trouble into our plans.
I think God does His work in spite of the trouble.”

I wrote the following in the comments:

“While I agree completely with the thought that God would not bring affliction to us, I think he does ask us to make difficult choices and to pass through hard times as a result of them. I don’t know how that all works out exactly, but Paul, for instance, was told point blank that he would be arrested in Jerusalem, but he also knew he had to go. In other words, God asks us to pass through hard times even if he’s not necessarily the source of the hard times, and he will not abandon us.”

Bonnie appreciated the comment and asked me to elaborate on this a bit more, which I’m happy to do.

There are two kinds of difficulties we need to discuss here: Trouble and the difficulties that come from discipleship. Let’s take a brief look at both of them.

Trouble and the Problem of Evil in the World

This is a tough topic, but in brief, I would say that evil springs from the sin in our world and in people in particular. God does not tempt us or smite people, at least in light of the New Testament we see a God who no longer sends hail and such from heaven.

I know there’s a whole bunch of troubling OT passages that make this a tough topic, but I think we can agree on a few things:

1. God desires all people to be saved and warns people about the consequences of their actions.
2. We’ll never completely understand things such as the flood or the conquest of Canaan. We can take cracks at explaining these events, but we’ll never be fully satisfied with the mystery of these passages. It’s hard to figure out just how involved God was in these events.
3. Jesus reveals God’s commitment to self-sacrifice and reconciliation.
4. The future that God pictures for us is one free from suffering and characterized by peace.

In other words, when something bad happens to us, it’s most likely not a good thing to blame God for “bringing” it to us. There are any number of reasons why bad things happen. Sometimes we place ourselves in bad situations, other times we are the victims of someone else’s sin, and still other times we suffer because we live in an imperfect world that is tainted by sin and cries out for the restoring touch of the creator.

The Difficulties that Come from Discipleship

While God does not send calamity or terrible things to us, he does push us toward the path he himself traveled: that of costly discipleship where we count the cost and take up our crosses. God may send us to calamity—what we could call the cross. God is not vengeful and angry, but he does ask us to give up our lives for the sake of knowing him more deeply and in order to tell others about his good news.

As we let go of what is fading we can posses what lasts forever. However, choosing the path of discipleship may be uncomfortable and may even lead us into uncomfortable or hard situations.

While God does not afflict us, our comfort is not his primary concern. He wants us to know him intimately, to depend on him, and to let go of the useless things we trust in. Guiding us to that goal is often messy and hard.

Jesus didn’t spare his disciples from difficulties. In fact, he predicted that they would suffer because of their allegiance to him. That isn’t to say that God brought trouble to their lives directly, but that God sent them out to complete his work and there’s no doubt that God’s mission is hazardous and difficult.

That’s the cost of discipleship.

I have now passed the second week of my Lenten fast from internet use in the evening and on Sundays. I can use my computer, but cannot go online for  e-mail, social networking, and general browsing. While my first week was both joyful and easy, the second week required a bit more will-power.

Part of the problem has been a nasty cold that has only lifted completely until today. It’s really tempting to sit and kill time on the internet when you don’t feel able to form a coherent thought. Have I mentioned that my wife is very, very glad that I’m feeling better and am now able to communicate?

I didn’t do as good a job with my time management this past week because I’ve felt so awful. This meant that sometimes I’d forgotten to take care of something important online during the day. When 6 PM came and I hadn’t finished up my online work, I had to stop. It was really tough to tell myself that I couldn’t check my e-mail or follow up on a few things.

Though the process was a bit unpleasant, I had to answer a rather basic question. Did I trust God with my day? Did I really need to send that e-mail, or could it wait until tomorrow, leaving the outcome with God?

Surprise, surprise, nothing terrible happened when I couldn’t send my e-mails or browse online for what I needed. In fact, roughly half of the times I check the internet there really isn’t anything of great consequence there, at least, nothing that couldn’t wait a few hours.

I think part of the drawback of the immediacy that comes with online tools is the sense of control we have. We can respond to things immediately, taking action, and keeping busy without waiting. Everything becomes important because it can be addressed now, and therefore we heighten our sense of control and coordination but at the same time fall to the tyranny of the urgent.

I’m still a rather fragmented person, but in seeking out some quiet time away from the internet I continue to cultivate a more wholesome approach to life, to write a lot more, and to read a bit more as well. Provided that I’m not laid out on the couch with a head cold, I’m generally able to chat with my wife. Not bad for week two.

Continuing my series on the Gospel of Mark at 10:32-52…

After saying that the last will come first and issuing a call to costly discipleship, Jesus reminded his astonished disciples of his impending death while the surrounding crowds remained fearful of what would happen in Jerusalem. The details are precise, showing that Jesus embraced God’s calling and cost while those around him remained uncertain. After speaking of the last coming first and importance of following him, Jesus reminded his disciples where he was going.

It was one thing to follow Jesus when he seemed to be restoring the rule of God over Israel but the path to the cross wasn’t where the rich tended to follow, nor those who wanted to advance their stations in life. However, even while Jesus spoke of his death, James and John could not give up their dreams of power and influence in God’s Kingdom.

Perhaps James and John wanted an assurance of their position before Jesus was killed, but however we examine this story, they come across as unlike children and the least likely to be last. They had left much behind but expected something more than persecution and eternal life for their trouble.

Instead of approaching Jesus with open hands to accept what he had to give, they placed an unrealistic request that not only alienated them from Jesus but their fellow disciples. Jesus showed them incredible mercy and gentleness, listening to their request and then gracefully denying it.

On one hand, their request was reckless, asking for things they did not understand. Sometimes an unanswered prayer may result from such an oversight. Perhaps a denial of a prayer request is an act of mercy from God.

All that Jesus could guarantee them was suffering, not a position at the top of the Kingdom. While they would not have recognized this, he was telling them how to be first in the Kingdom—following his path to the cross. The only guarantee of any position in the Kingdom was through faithfulness.

It’s hard to say whether the top places in the Kingdom of God were prepared for specific people or were simply unknown until the disciples proved themselves faithful in following the way of Jesus. However, blessings and rewards are not given out in the ways James and John expected—a kind of favor among friends. While the disciples could do nothing on their own to merit a place in the Kingdom, entering the Kingdom required embracing the calling of Jesus and remaining faithful to it.

The cross, resurrection, and the resulting eternal life were only possible because Jesus lead the way down that lonely road to Jerusalem. The only way to pass into that eternal life, that we could never merit or earn, is by following Jesus to the cross and into eternal life. It is hard to enter a Kingdom that gives life to the least of these when we are committed to the values of a completely different kingdom and way of living.

Bartimaeus creates an interesting contrast to James and John. While he too wanted to receive something from Jesus, he immediately used his new-found vision to join Jesus. We can suspect that James and John wanted a prominent position for the use of ruling, not serving in the way of Jesus. Jesus continued to serve anyone from a beggar to a couple of selfish disciples, and in the case of Bartimaeus he gained another disciple willing to count the cost and follow him.

When trying to figure out what I should give up for Lent, I’ve decided to make a list of what I can’t live without and to pick one item from that list. However, this season I ran into an interesting twist.

I began to think of what I’m longing for—what I lack and desire but have not been able to find.

My list of things I can’t live without would include my computer, the internet, social media, coffee, nice pens, nice journals, etc. However, I realized that this Lent I needed to create some boundaries in order to cultivate space where certain things could happen that have not been happening lately.

I think my professional life has some decent boundaries in and of itself, but the problem is that my professional life has crept into my personal time. Since I’m working on writing and speaking full time, it’s very hard to know when to stop—and I rarely stop once evening comes.

My wife always looks at me in shock on the few occasions when I sit on the couch reading a book. That is not good.

I need to stop more. I need to create some boundaries from the internet and my work. I need sacred space.

While I admire those who are giving up social media tools such as Facebook and Twitter for Lent, my larger problem is when I fritter my time away on social media, blogs, and web stuff in the evening when I should relax, pray, read, or let a rabbit climb all over me. I don’t feel like these things invade my professional life too much, but they are a problem at home.

So this Lent I’m creating two boundaries.

The first is a space of roughly 20 minutes each day for worship. This means worship music, prayer, or whatever. Some of this needs to be time specifically set apart for worship without any other distractions, but I’m also planning to focus on playing worship music while working throughout the day.

The other is a 6 PM internet cut off time. After 6 PM I am not allowed online, save for the few occasions when I’ll have to check my e-mail for something important. Even then, I’ll only use my wife’s computer where I don’t have any social media or blog settings saved—and it’s frittering my time away on social media and blogs that I’m far more worried about.

It’s already been wonderful. I fought off the urge last night to go online, even if Lent hadn’t begun, and enjoyed reading and journaling for a few hours. One rabbit hopped onto my lap and furiously licked my jeans and the pillow next to me.

I have a feeling that Lent is going to be wonderful for my soul… and my rabbits.

Each time Mark records the arrival of Jesus in a new town he notes a meeting with someone who needs to be healed or crowds who want to hear his teaching. In the case of Bethsaida, Jesus met a crowd who pleaded with him to heal a blind man.

Jesus also made it his custom, due to his popularity, to take the sick out of the village before healing them. While the works of Jesus were important, he did not want to become known primarily as a miracle worker. He welcomed crowds when he taught, but when healing he typically sought seclusion.

The blind man healed by Jesus was like so many others, but at this crucial point in the Gospel of Mark there is more going on than a miracle. As the blind man regained his sight, so too do the disciples of Jesus on their trip to Caesarea Philippi.

Jesus once again did not tell his disciples who he was. Instead, he wanted them to figure it out. Peter declared that Jesus is the Messiah, but Jesus didn’t want anyone to talk about it. No one was ready for a Messiah like him, and therefore it was crucial for everyone else to look at the works of Jesus and listen to his teaching in the future in order to declare him the Messiah. He wanted his listeners to draw their own conclusions and to meet him based on faith.

Once the disciples were cured of their Messianic blindness, Jesus immediately challenged them with a new idea they were not ready to receive. Jesus the Messiah would be rejected, killed, and raised from the dead. This proved to be too much for Peter whose exhilaration must have given way to heartbreak.

What if the “wisdom” of Peter had prevailed? What if the truth about Jesus spread before he went to the cross? Would he even be allowed to go to the cross at all? Would a violent insurrection have happened in his name? Jesus refused to follow the counsel of men as he strongly rejected Peter’s advice in order to remain faithful to God’s costly calling for his life. He was a suffering Messiah that few were ready to receive since so many had their own ideas of what a Messiah would be.

Without informing the multitude of his precise plans, Jesus offered what many would have seen as a cryptic calling to carry their crosses. For the first time in public Jesus laid out the real stakes of his mission. Disciples need to lay everything on the line in order to gain the life that Jesus offers.

This self-denial includes the wisdom of man, our theology, our expectations, and our goals in life. While Jesus healed many and cured the blind, he always gradually removed the spiritual blindness of his closest followers so they could follow where he was leading rather than where they thought he should go. They weren’t ready to declare him the Messiah because they were still figuring out the kind of Messiah that Jesus was.

Continuing my series of meditations on the Gospel of Mark…

After healing the man with leprosy, Jesus became very popular because he’d created a new understanding of the law. Rather than becoming defiled by someone with a disease, he made the defiled person whole. This is what happens when God’s Kingdom comes into our lives.

Hinting that Jesus didn’t have a home of his own in Capernaum, Jesus stayed with someone. Word soon spread and visitors flocked to him both out of interest and out of personal need—Jesus preached his message to all who filled the home where he stayed.

Four men brought a paralyzed man into this crowd hoping that Jesus would heal him. These were presumably family or at least close friends since they were so committed to finding Jesus, they took the unexpected course of digging through the roof—something that must have created quite a stir and possibly offended not a few neighbors in this small village. This scenario shows that seeking Jesus may be difficult and requires us to take unusual actions at times, while practicing hospitality for Jesus will come with a significant cost at times. I wouldn’t want to be in charge of the clean up after such a gathering!

After seeing the sincerity of the four men and the paralyzed man, Jesus forgave his sins, which demonstrated for all to see that God in the flesh was among them. Rather than going to the temple to sacrifice an animal, as the scriptures mandated, Jesus showed the people they could come to him by faith to seek forgiveness for their sins. The teachers of the law caught the significance of this and immediately called Jesus a blasphemer in their minds. With this we see the first of a series of oppositions to the ministry of Jesus.

Nevertheless, Jesus validated his ministry of spiritual reconciliation by connecting it with physical restoration. God’s Kingdom manifested in Jesus made the man both spiritually and physically whole. Jesus pointed the people to the ultimate goal of the temple system and the ideal future God planned among his people, the very thing hinted at when Abraham was declared righteous by his faith.

God was establishing a deeper way of meeting with his people, a way that rendered the temple system no longer necessary, even if it had value in teaching God’s people for a season. Everything hinged on whether people would embrace the new way of Jesus over the old temple system. Were the people more connected to God and God’s ways or to the ways they connected with God? Would the experience of God triumph over the form of experiencing God?

Besides stirring the suspicion of his listeners with such bold claims, Jesus also reached out to some very unpopular people at the height of his popularity. It would seem suicidal to his prophetic career to rouse the suspicions of the religious authorities who could validate and stand for his ministry, but Jesus drew them into a conflict by first replacing their temple system with God’s new way and then associating openly with many notorious sinners—those called scum among the religious leaders.

Jesus is straddling two diametrically opposed worlds by siding with Jewish peasants and Roman collaborators. He was certain to anger both sides by calling both kinds of people into his group. Levi didn’t seem to be following Jesus already, but he jumped at the opportunity to leave his lucrative career behind. It seems that Levi, much like the leper in chapter one, thought much of Jesus but didn’t know if he would be accepted among his followers.

As Jesus dined with many “notorious sinners,” the religion scholars called these people scum, though it is their pride that Jesus found truly odious. The scum were the ones who recognized the Messiah and who welcomed him, and in fact, Jesus came for such humble and broken people who didn’t have their acts together because he could work with them. God will do his work in us when we don’t claim the credit, for his salvation must always be his power alone and have nothing to do with human resources or wisdom. Mark notes that many such people flocked to follow Jesus.

Lines were being drawn in the sand at this point. Jesus goes for the outcasts and introduces God’s new way of meeting with his people, fulfilling and putting aside the old conventions that were trusted. God is able to work with those aware of their own brokenness and able to trust in his ongoing revelation without becoming suspicious based on religious practices or theological knowledge. The childlike are able to hold their theology lightly when encountering God’s revelation, learning about God on the fly without rejecting God’s work in the midst of some theological difficulties. Theology is important and helpful at times, but in the case of the religious scholars of Jesus’ ministry, it became a liability at key points.

The radical inclusivity of Jesus should challenge us to welcome those whom we fear or dislike into our fellowship if they are willing to accept the Gospel message. Jesus welcomed a hated collaborator with the Roman authorities. This means that political allegiances must fall when we follow Jesus. Notorious sinners are welcome to seek out God and figure out what it means to have faith, to repent, and to be healed.

Christians today have their suspicions and fears of many today: from abortion doctors to politicians, from criminals to lobbyists, the people we find distasteful are the people who need the Gospel most. They are the kinds of people Jesus came to save, they are the kinds of people he sought out, and they are the kinds of people to whom we are sent. Perhaps we should ask who it is that we despise most and then ask God for the grace to share his Good News with them.

Continuing my series of meditations on the Gospel of Mark…

After receiving a clear commissioning from God and an empowering from the Holy Spirit that identified him as God’s Son, Jesus prevailed over temptation in the wilderness and called several disciples to join him. As he began to preach that the Kingdom of God was near, he also took actions that demonstrated its presence.

In the first scenario, we learn that Jesus became a regular teacher at the synagogue in Capernaum. He astounds his audience because of his authority, which we can trace back to God’s acknowledgement of his place and to the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. It is worth nothing that Jesus begins to teach so powerfully after spending time in the wilderness.

We wouldn’t expect a demon-possessed man in our churches today, but on one particular Sabbath such a man interrupted the meeting. Jesus demonstrated that his authority and the Kingdom of God’s power extends even to the demons. Rather than let the demon say more about who he is, Jesus silenced the demon and cast him out. Jesus carefully protected his identity at this point in his ministry because he surely knew that names and titles and words can take on different meanings, and he certainly did not want to associate himself with the popular notion of a Messiah.

Later that day Jesus went to Peter’s home and it seems they wasted no time telling him about Peter’s mother-in-law. It seems the exorcism left an impression on them and so Jesus healed her after they mentioned her ailment. After being healed by Jesus she rose and began to serve others.

Between the healing of this woman and the demon-possessed man, word spread through the village that the authoritative teacher also had power to heal others. Mark foreshadows the conflicts to come by mentioning that the people came to Peter’s home at sundown, revealing the belief that healings should not happen on the Sabbath. Jesus also showed that he wasn’t concerned about healing anyone on the Sabbath.

The proclamation of the Kingdom of God took on new dimensions as Jesus healed many people in the village of Capernaum. As Jesus healed those with diseases, there were many who came to watch him at work. Rather than let these many onlookers learn about the coming of the Messiah from the demons, Jesus silenced the demons. My guess is that he wanted them to see his actions and then figure things out for themselves, much like his statement to John the Baptist about recognizing the Messiah.

Keep in mind that Jesus could have built an incredible ministry at this point in Capernaum. The whole village respected his authority and revered his miracles. We don’t know how late he stayed up healing people, but Jesus rose early the next morning to recharge with God in a lonely place. I know I would have been tempted to bask in the success of my ministry, but Jesus, the Son of God, felt the need to pull back at the height of his popularity. In fact, he even pulled out.

Jesus overturned our conventional wisdom by moving out at the height of his popularity to preach and to cast out demons in other villages. He made it clear that he had come to preach to many. He moved on to preach throughout the rest of Galilee, which was still considered by many at that time an obscure backwater.

With so much healing going on, a leper begged Jesus to heal him too. He knew Jesus had the power, but he didn’t know if Jesus would be willing to extend his power to him. Jesus was moved with pity and immediately healed the man. However, Jesus was aware of how fast his popularity spread and didn’t want this particular healing to spread too far.

In making an unclean person clean by touching him, Jesus did something incredible. Instead of defiling himself, Jesus brought restoration and wholeness. Nothing like that had been done before, and after the man ignored Jesus’ command to keep it between himself and the priest and told everyone about this miraculous work that took the people outside the bounds of the Jewish Law, everyone wanted to see Jesus. Rather than embrace this popularity, Jesus made himself more difficult to find, working hard to draw only authentic followers who understood who he was, embraced how he worked, and counted the cost of following him.

In this passage we see Jesus at work extending the power and authority of the Kingdom to others. Some embrace it and even share its benefits with others, though others aren’t quite sure of what to make of it. They impose their own limits on it, watch without commitment, or consider themselves unworthy even if God is able to help them.

Mark has shown us what it looks like for Jesus to act and the scope of his mission, but how we react to it can make a tremendous difference. Are we willing to bring others to Jesus, believing he can help, that he is willing to help, and that he will answer our prayers? Are we willing to do the same for ourselves?