:: In.a.Mirror.Dimly ::

Over the weekend our kitchen was full of bowls with hacked up apples, huge pots boiling with water, a food mill, and rows of quart jars. The promise of homemade applesauce for the long winter prompted us to spend the bulk of our Sunday hard at work in our kitchen scrubbing, cutting, boiling, and ladling.

I like to play the part of the menial slave who just focuses on one big project: washing the apples, cutting the apples, etc. My wife is far better suited for the supervision and “big picture” part of canning. She’s good at reading recipes and devising a plan.

I’ve never been good at following recipes. I usually forget something. Knowing this tendency, I could stand in front of a cook book for hours trying to make sure I got it right. If I was in charge of making the applesauce by myself, there’s a chance I could still be standing in front of the cookbook today.

When you’re canning something, you need to follow the instructions carefully to ensure everything stays sterile and that you cook your fruit/vegetables enough. The instructions are important, but the nourishment comes from putting them into practice and making something. No actions, no applesauce, no matter how well I think I understand the instructions. In fact, the instructions aren’t doing me much good without the applesauce they’re supposed to produce.

Theology often needs more applesauce.

That is to say, if theology provides us some critical instructions and guidelines relating to the nature of God, they’re only useful to the point that we actually meet the God we learn about. Our nourishment is knowing God and doing his will—it’s like eating a warm loaf of bread.

For all of my pouting about following recipes, the irony is that I often prefer just reading theology over putting it into practice. I’m malnourished because I miss out on God’s sustaining presence. If I’m not producing fruit that will last—or fruit that is “preserved”—there’s a chance that I’ve put too much value on learning “about” God rather than living “with” God.

Recipes are useful for pointing us in the right direction. We need good recipes just like we need good theology, but if the recipes don’t lead to something substantial and life-changing, we’re probably just starving ourselves.

In the sometimes illogical world of sports where beards are grown in the playoffs and jerseys are left unwashed for good luck, there is a term for fair-weather fans who only support a team at the peak of its success: bandwagon fans. The bandwagon fans don’t endure the losing seasons or the ups and downs along the road to winning the championship.

Bandwagon fans want all of the enjoyment at the end of the season without enduring the regular season. So far as I can tell, that’s perfectly fine in sports. However, when we apply the bandwagon fan principle to other things, it’s not quite as attractive.

The Bandwagon Fan for Campaigns

For example, we have politicians campaigning right now for positions such as president, best friend to lobbyists, and most likely be swayed by large campaign donors. Campaigns have staff and volunteers who invest long, hard days for the sake of their candidates.

Can you imagine someone refusing to help this candidate when given the chance, merely clicking a button in the voting both, and then celebrating as if he/she had been an integral part of the campaign? The bandwagon fan doesn’t look so hot in that scenario.

Bandwagon Faith

The interesting thing about Jesus, is that he’ll welcome anyone into the Kingdom at anyone point of his/her life. If you receive Jesus with your dying breath, you’re just as much a part of the Kingdom as someone who was raised in a Christian home, serving Christ with every breath.

There are no merit badges to accumulate in the Kingdom. We can enter it at any time.

On the other hand, when we are given an opportunity to follow Jesus today, and we put it off until a later point, we have a major problem. We are reminded in the book of Hebrews that today is the day of salvation. If you hear God’s voice today, don’t ignore it.

Let his voice speak into your life, and then take action. Faith is demonstrated by works in the present, not future aspirations.

Bandwagon faith says that we don’t need to fully commit ourselves to God’s Kingdom campaign today. The “bandwagonner” plans to celebrate fully in the Kingdom some day, but fails to invest in the work of God today. Bandwagon faith tries to squeak by with the bare minimum of commitment, ignoring the call of God in the present.

When Christians fail to live in obedience, it’s like we’re saying to God, “We’ll take care of ourselves today, and we’ll get around to you later. Oh, and we can’t wait for that big party with you some day!”

Obedience make’s God’s call a priority, taking tentative, sometimes faltering steps forward. When we leave bandwagon faith behind, we are able to find the joy and peace of God in our present circumstances, even if the way forward is sometimes uncertain and difficult.

We learn that the joy and celebration promised in God’s coming Kingdom can actually be ours to enjoy today. Bandwagon faith robs us of the most precious gift of God: Jesus fully present in our lives today through his Spirit.

These two men were responsible. They had business to take care of, and they were not idle in addressing it. One was fixing his nets along the shore of Galilee, the other had to take care of his father’s burial.

Culturally speaking, the man tasked with burying his father was especially living in careful observance of the law. He was in the right place, doing what mattered.

The difference between the two men came when Jesus called, saying, “Follow me.” This wasn’t something that could be delayed. Jesus literally wanted them to drop what they were doing and to reorient their lives around him.

One man knew when to stop, dropping the lower priorities for the person who mattered most.

The other man asked for time so that he could wrap up his obligations and still follow Jesus.

Learning how to stop is difficult, especially when you think you’re doing everything right. Other priorities can interfere when the most important call comes to us.

Can we stop?

Are we cultivating practices that help us stop daily to hear God’s voice?

Are we ready to stop and respond when the call comes?

One of the most disconcerting phrases in the Bible may be, “We rejoice in our sufferings.” How in the world could a sane person ever arrive at the conclusion that suffering is something to celebrate?

Even worse, we’re guaranteed troubles, trials, persecution, and other forms of suffering in this world. Something in the back of our minds may tell us this is the case, but it doesn’t help to read that right in the Bible.

In other words, the Bible assures us that trouble is coming. Then, once trouble comes, it assures us that we can rejoice in the midst of it. How does someone arrive at this point? In fact, should we even desire to reach this point?

Discipleship is all about the process where God reshapes us into people with his priorities. We become committed to manifesting his Kingdom in this world and detached from the desire to build our own kingdoms. Instead of building faulty structures for our own security and comfort, the Kingdom sends us out. Before we’re willing to leave our faulty buildings behind, we need to be changed.

Left to our own devices we’ll opt to stay put, to compromise the calling of discipleship. People untouched by the power of God have not been conformed into his image. They will steer clear of anything that could lead to suffering or persecution. They have their own kingdoms to worry about.

We’d never take the risks of discipleship without God’s power in our lives that makes us holy and renews our minds. This process of being conformed into God’s image is why holiness is so critically important for disciples.

As we learn to value holiness, we’ll realize that suffering is a sign that this world is passing away, that God’s Kingdom is our only hope. Suffering helps us see the world from God’s perspective.

Suffering reminds us that our little kingdoms are weak and flimsy. God is present in the midst of our suffering, preparing us for the day when all tears shall be wiped away and our joy will be made complete.

Some days I feel like Paul is that big brother I never could match. I see him as the kind of guy who was always picked first for sports, topped the honors charts in school, and quickly rose to the top of his company. He worked tirelessly, also knowing what to do next.

When mocking a church obsessed with credentials, Paul rolls out a list of accomplishments that include being shipwrecked, imprisoned, and nearly beaten to death for the sake of the Gospel. What have I got? How about an atheist writing a cross comment on Facebook?

I’m not even close to matching Paul, the super-missionary, apostle extraordinaire who wrote the Bible—well, at least the part of the Bible that folks like me read the most. Wink. Wink. To make things worse, Paul mocked people who called themselves super-apostles.

Paul is so awesome that he can mock people who think they’re more awesome than him…

Paul brings up a very real tension for us in the Christian life. The pace of his ministry was furious. He was a true overachiever. There are plenty of reasons why evangelicals in America love Paul, but one reason may be his indomitable work ethic. If there was ever a “git ‘er done” guy in the Bible, it was Paul.

There are other traditions in Christianity besides “git ‘er done,” fast-paced ministry that globe trots from one ministry to another. There are other paces we read about in the Bible. Jesus spent the first thirty years of his life working as a carpenter or doing whatever people in Nazareth and Galilee were up to back then. Even Paul, that tireless worker, took a bunch of years to get his head on straight in the wilderness.

What did he do?

Those quiet years intrigue me. For all our obsession with being “busy” with ministry, there is a tension at play where solitude and leading a quiet life emerge as viable options for either a season or at least a lifetime.

Paul and his fast-paced ministry have become so normal and ideal in my conception of Christianity, that I forget the rest of the examples in the Bible about staying put, leading a quiet life, and winning people over through a gentle holiness.

There are different callings for different people, at different seasons in their lives. There were times when Paul had to stay put and times when he had to roam from one city to another. Some Christians were called to serve in their cities as elders, while others stayed in lonely places where only the willing sought them out.

We don’t have a blueprint for Christianity. What happens is we gravitate toward the characters and lifestyles in the Bible that make the most sense to us. Along the way, we miss the point that God directed people in a wide variety of directions.

American Christians like me long to be busy—busy just like Paul. I forget that Paul looked at all of his accomplishments and counted them as foolish rubbish, counting only the love of Christ as his treasure. May God give us eyes to see the riches that he has called us to in relationship with him.

May we get over Paul and into the love of Christ.

God is great at remembering his promises and at forgetting our sins. I tend to think he’s either great at one or the other. Either he remembers his promises AND all of my sins, or he forgets my sins but he also fails to follow up on his promises.

It’s hard to imagine how God does it. In the past I’ve failed to follow up on commitments or e-mails. I typically feel awful about it, and then I get to enjoy the guilt that comes with letting someone down. So I know how to fail pretty comprehensively.

God is so unlike us!

It’s so important to sit and reflect on the work of God because it’s counterintuitive. God’s promises are better than anything we could cook up on our own. If we don’t let his Spirit reshape and renew our minds, we’ll never figure it out.

In fact, God promised to do this for us. The new covenant means that God’s law will be written on our minds and hearts. God promises to make himself known to us. At the climax of these promises in Hebrews 8, we find this incredible statement:

“I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.” – Hebrews 8:12

These promises are being fulfilled today. God is here to redeem people who fail—people like me. People like you. That redemption means he’ll never forget what he has promises to do, but our sins are forgotten.

Sometimes I fear that I’ve taken God’s grace too far. I often find God is far ahead of me, offering me something greater than what I can imagine.

I take my metaphors to their natural conclusion, which I feel is my warrant as a writer. So, when someone says, “I go to church to get fed,” I can’t help thinking of a baby sitting in a high chair with his mouth open and someone stuffing food into it. Fussing and spit up is part of it.

That metaphor of being “fed” at church has been a powerful one. When Willow Creek Community Church  conducted their church-wide study called Reveal, they discovered that they needed to help their people become “self-feeders.” In other words, mature Christians had grown too dependent on being spoon-fed truth. Church was not a self-serve buffet, but rather a series of high chairs.

We need teaching and instruction, especially if we’re young in the faith. The Bible is tricky, but we also need to learn how to pray and serve others.

Have we possibly associated church too closely with being fed spiritual truth to the exclusion of some other important things?

And related to that, How responsible should mature Christians be for their own instruction in the faith?

The difference between now and most other times in Christian history is that we have access to incredible resources such as books, blogs, online videos, and podcasts. We have accessible commentaries, study tools, and hundreds of trained teachers publishing books that will crack open the Bible for us.

There are some amazing books being published by seminary professors right now that languish in obscurity between the academy and the church because they’re a little technical at times. Make no mistake, teaching yourself is hard work.

I’m not trying to say that pastors preaching sermons are unnecessary. Rather, I wonder if it’s time to reimagine what being “fed” could look like and whether we focus so much on being fed that we forget about the other things that our churches could do. In the process we can take a lot of pressure off our pastors and allow them to focus on ensuring we are becoming spiritually healthy, living as obedient disciples, and serving others where needed in our communities.

I personally know that it’s much easier to spend ten hours pouring over a commentary because Paul said truth is important. However, I’m not quite as fast to jump to the aid of the poor in my community for a few hours, even though we see examples in Acts of the early church providing for orphans and widows, to say nothing of James.

Focusing on teaching truth is pretty easy for folks like me, especially those of us who enjoyed seminary. However, teaching and instructing is just one part of the larger picture. In addition, it may be possible to still do it well without reinventing the wheel.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a lover of sermons. There have been sermons that changed my life, but I think there could have been many, many more life-changing sermons if the pastor stopped talking after fifteen minutes and we focused on putting it into practice as a community. In other words, it’s good to teach that Jesus delivered people from evil spirits, but I’m just as interested in taking time on Sunday to pray for people who feel tormented by temptation.

Each denomination has its strengths when it comes to teaching and preaching. I come from a background that was heavy on teaching, so I’m writing from that perspective—hoping for a little more practice and a little less head knowledge when I gather with believers in community.

I’m aware that we need diversity and that my experience will differ from others. I’m also aware that these are big, systemic and tradition-based matters I’m raising today. Change, if it ever happens, would be slow.

However, I think we need to step back and imagine some new possibilities:

What could it look like if we took some of the teaching pressures away from our pastors and placed it on ourselves?

How could we ensure that teaching still happens?

Would our pastors be able to minister a little more effectively with less teaching responsibilities?

I had to confront one of my fears a few weeks ago. It’s a bit too private to share all of the details on a blog, but if I had to list the top three things that freak me out, I’d say this is right up there. It’s the kind of fear that I can’t control, that I know can only be resolved through prayer that I’ve been too afraid to seek.

A few weeks ago, I decided to take action. I wasn’t facing anything life threatening or uncomfortable, but I was in a situation that made it really easy to face that fear. The freak out was pretty awesome: sweaty palms, beating heart, short breaths. I was a ball of fun at close quarters in the elevator that day.

And then something changed. I gained an understanding of the actual source of my fear, and I realized that I’d completely mischaracterized it. It wasn’t quite as bad as I thought, even if it still kind of freaks me out.

By staring into my fear, I discovered a weak point in its defenses, and you’d better believe I’m praying into that weak spot with everything I’ve got.

On Becoming Less Fearful

I had a chat with some classmates at my 10-year college reunion, and one guy asked how we’ve changed over the past 10 years. One friend said that he is now less fearful after working through so many hard times at his first job. He cares far less about what people think of him, and he is far more confident as takes risks and pursues challenges.

In a sense, his first job blasted him with so many sources of stress and anxiety that they soon lost their power. He saw them at their worst, and he realized that God was able to sustain him.

There are real things to fear in this world, but so much of what we fear is insubstantial, lacking teeth. The substantial parts of our fears may knock us around when we face them, but God is able to deliver us because Jesus is Lord over all.

Facing our fears often seems like a terrible at idea in the thick of things. However, we’ll never have a chance to experience God’s power and deliverance unless we own our fears and let him begin working in us.

I have found that deliverance is often a process, a series of stumbling steps forward. As I discovered in the elevator that day with my nervous faith, God can break through and begin to heal us when we face our fears.

When I read a story or watch a movie, I crave a just and tidy resolution. I want everything to be put right. A delayed resolution is the last thing I want in a story.

In removing myself from pages and movie screens, I want the same thing in life: a tidy resolution. Much of the strain we face in this world is that such resolutions are delayed, even if they are guaranteed to us in the Bible.

We live our lives, pass into a time of waiting with God, and then we will one day be resurrected along with the rest of God’s new creation. So far as I can tell from the Bible, the resurrection and the life that follows are where God brings the resolutions that we crave today and the full blessings that we hope for.

Waiting is essential.

The resurrection assures us that there is something enormously significant waiting for us when Christ returns. If anything, we are tempted to make too much of today and too little of the good things God has prepared for us in the restored rule of Christ.

We engage in works of justice and peace not because we want to seize control of this world, but because we want to proclaim that God is already in control in ways we don’t yet understand and moving us toward something else. That is the hardest part of the Kingdom for me. God is King here and now today, but his rule is not fully present among us.

The resurrection is the game changer, the moment that God will set things exactly as they should be. How we live between now and then is certainly a pressing matter. We are sometimes faced with a false choice between a spiritualized moralism and an activist moralism. One deals with the spiritual power of the Kingdom and the other deals with the manifestations of the Kingdom among us.

The Resurrection makes the foolishness of the Gospel possible. The meek, mourning, peacemaking underdogs truly are going to win because only God can raise the dead and recreate our world into a just and loving place.

We don’t fight for control of this world using its own tools. We declare that God is already in control in his mysterious ways and that one day he will bring the life, restoration, and justice that we miss so badly today.

If I ever lose hope, perhaps it is because I have asked God to bring his future resolutions into the present. Perhaps I need to learn how to wait, to submit myself to God’s timing, and to rest in the assurance and promise he gives us today: I am with you until the end of the age.

And so I’m learning that presence of Jesus is enough for today. He is the resolution.

Last night I had to clear my tools and some random bits of paper off the mantel. Our knickknacks, mostly rabbit-themed, were bunched at one end, and I spread them out along the mantel.

Moving on from that oasis of order, I started hunting around the kitchen for our metal basket we use for our pens. Upon locating it in one of the remaining boxes, I filled it with pens, a sticky note pad, and some twisty ties.

These were not pressing matters, but they indicated how I felt inside. A messy mantle and a counter strewn with pens reminded me that I didn’t have enough order in my life. I’ve just been rushing from one thing to another, overwhelmed with a growing to-do list.

I realized that I really needed to stop for a bit of time last night and this morning to take stock of where I’m at.

The Signs of Chaos

Self-absorption and anxiety are usually two of my big signs that I need to step back. When other people become a nuisance and my heart races over the slightest problem, I’m clearly doing life on my own.

I’m sure we all have our sins of choice or our messy habits that we turn to when life gets hard. At the very least my crutch of anxiety is relatively easy to spot.

“Why is it suddenly hard to breathe?”

That’s when it’s time to lay on my back to stretch out, take some deep breaths, and pray.

Fighting Chaos in Our Lives

I’ve been working on creating some kind of a routine or rhythm in our new home. Part of finding a routine or rhythm is recognizing when to push and when to stop. That requires acknowledging limits, which feels sort of lazy and un-American.

You know what I mean. What do you mean limits? We live in the greatest, richest, most powerful, most obese country in the world! We can do ANYTHING!

Ah, but limits are what we need. We need to stop for things like:

silence

rest

clarity

peace

There are two things I need in order to fight chaos:

Quiet Moments in the Morning

My quiet time in the morning is critical for getting my head on right by reading scripture and praying, but I also need to organize my day and think it through. If I don’t pray through and think through my day, I’ll just run from one urgent, distracting thing to another without working on the things that are most important.

Without a regular routine, the urgency of the new day beckons and I feel rushed. After hearing her speak last week, I now have a handy little Ann Voskamp who sits on my shoulder like one of those cartoon angels who screams into my ear, “Life is not an emergency.”

My racing heart suggests that such is not the case. Then I start having trouble breathing, and I realize that perhaps Ann has a point. I’ve been making too much of too little, rushing from one thing to another without any sense of order.

Different Paces for My Day

As I work on projects throughout each day, I find that I sometimes need to switch up my pace. I don’t work well doing the same kind of work for eight hours, nor do most jobs demand that we do the same exact thing all day, every day.

Finding the ways to mix and match my day in order to line up with the pace of my mind is critical. I don’t know if that makes perfect sense or if that makes me sound like a lunatic who chewed his way out of the restraints.

Others may differ on this one, but I find that I need to divide my days into following categories: creative, communication/networking, and editing. If I do my networking during my high capacity creative times, then I’m screwed because I’ll have to do my creative work during my lower capacity networking times.

Then I get frustrated.

Then I fall behind.

Then I get stressed.

If I take some quiet time in the morning and pace myself according to some kind of schedule, I can stay grounded in the presence of God and on task. Without those two pieces in place, I end up wandering the house looking for something I can organize.

How do you recognize when your life is out of sorts?

What steps do you take?

Today’s post is part of Bonnie Gray’s Thursday Faith Jam at Faith Barista. Check out her post today.