:: In.a.Mirror.Dimly ::

While working on the Taking Root series, I noticed that I was far more pleased with the quality of my posts if I gave my ideas more time to develop. As I started my new series on Belonging in the Church, I wanted to find a way to still give those posts time to take shape so the writing could be sharp, economical, and to the point.

The solution I’ve played with and finally settled on is to take Thursdays off. I’ll either share guest posts or some highlights from blogs I’ve been reading. This gives me a little more breathing room and enables me to recommend my favorite blogs. That’s something I’ve been meaning to do for quite some time now, and I’m glad that I can finally make it happen.

Check out Ray Hollenbach’s post: Jesus, Friend of Pharisees

Ray writes, “The same man who welcomed Matthew the tax collector was also friends with Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea.”

Lore Ferguson has a beautiful post about the tension between worship and fear: Kissing Fear

Lore writes, “Worship. Fear. Be in awe. Draw near…”

Sarah Bessey has an eerily similar story to my own about heartbreak and restoration in the church. The difference is that she writes about it with way more passion and poetry than literal ole’ me. This post will make your day: In Which God Has Restored Church to Me

Sarah Writes: “Six years ago, Brian left full-time vocational ministry and, you who have walked this road with us, you know, it’s been a journey. We were so burnt out, so exhausted, so broken hearted and part of me, a big part of me, never wanted to darken the door of a church again. ”

Kristin Tennant wants you to Learn How to Be Bored Again, and I think she’s right on.

Kristin writes, “I’ve been thinking about time not as currency, but rather as space. ”

I hope you enjoy these posts. I’ll be sharing the Women in Ministry Series guest post tomorrow, and then Monday I’ll pick up where we left off with my Belonging in Church series. Thanks for stopping by!

Taking Root is a series of meditations I’m writing and editing for Central Vineyard Church during the season of Lent. You can download the podcast version of each post by subscribing to my church’s podcast or visiting the podcast blog for each day of the series.

You can’t watch a television show these days without stumbling on a cell phone commercial. One of them shows a series of cell phones racing along a graph that demonstrates the speed of each phone’s data connection. At the end, a particular phone explodes through all limitations, surpassing the other phones, and proving to one and all that it is the best phone since it offers the fastest data connection.

Speed wins.

Another series of commercials have two colleagues at work who use their blazing fast data connections to keep a few minutes ahead of their colleagues. They know about retirement parties first, buy the best gifts for colleagues, and stay ahead on their projects because of their amazing cell phones.

Speed is better.

We’re offered speed through transportation, shipping, and food production. News outlets fight to deliver the news first. Fast food is pervasive.

Speed is everywhere.

If I ever ask anyone “How are you?” the most common response has to be, “Busy!” We are promised speed because we’re busy and we need to rush from one place to another. Moving slow is believed to be the fast track to unemployment, becoming a social outcast, or worse. Why else would we become so upset when stuck in traffic or when the internet goes down? We need to move fast, or else…

Speed can be a good thing in its place. However, speed is not a sustainable lifestyle. It’s only possible for a season or in short bursts.

There is a Cost to Speed

Those who never slow down will eventually crash. Think of a race car that never even takes the time for a pit stop, let alone for routine maintenance in between races. A race car that jumps from one race to another will never refuel or change its tires, causing it to grind to a halt, careen off the track, or crash.

We are in a long term race, and fighting to improve our speed and efficiency will eventually take its toll if we don’t understand how to slow down. Perhaps we fear being left behind if we slow down, but pushing ourselves too hard will lead to a far worse crash that will put us out of commission for a while.

Sacred Rhythms Fight Speed Addiction

As we’ve looked at the seasons of Christianity and the practices of stopping, waiting, and listening during prayer, we can create rhythms where rest and speed coexist. The goal isn’t to always move slow. The goal is to pace ourselves, learning when to sprint, when to slow down, and when to stop altogether.

The Advantages of Knowing When to Slow Down

We’re not doomed to a slow lifestyle. I’ve found that pacing myself with rest in between the fast-paced parts of my day often helps me move faster at the right times.

I only hit the wall when I try to push myself to keep a fast pace all day. When I can’t sustain that speed, discouragement and guilt can set in. Finding the right pace will help us both work better and rest effectively.

If you’re feeling the pull of a fast-paced, crazy day, that’s a sign that you need to create a space to rest, even if it’s for a few minutes. You know how to stop, breathe, and open yourself up to God’s voice. Stopping right now is the key to taking your next step forward.

The Greenhouse

What parts of your day are the most fast-paced or chaotic? What makes them like this?

What do you find most relaxing? What can you do to derive more benefits from these practices?

Stop for five minutes to pray today, asking God to show you the right balance in these areas?

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s watching NHL hockey. If there are two things I’m good at, they’re watching NHL hockey and giving unsolicited advice. Since the hockey games won’t be on until later tonight, I thought I should venture into the unsolicited advice realm.

OK, so here’s the thing. I stopped by the store today and saw all of these people stressing out over cards, chocolate, flowers, and other such things for Valentine’s Day. We all want to have an awesome Valentine’s Day, but how can we make such a thing happen? It would seem that everything at the stores is fighting against such awesomeness.

Don’t worry, there is hope. Here are three tips to having an awesome Valentine’s Day. You didn’t ask for them, but you need them.

#1 Order Take Out

I know the movies and television always show people eating out on Valentine’s Day, but gosh darn it, eating out on Valentine’s Day is a pain. You’ve got to make a reservation, wait a while, and drive all the way back home. If there’s one thing I’ve hated about Valentine’s Day, it’s finding a restaurant and then having to wait an hour before sitting down to eat. That’s how you kill all of your small talk before you’ve even hit the appetizer!

Skip all of that and order takeout. Pizza, Chinese, or Indian: it doesn’t matter. Keep it simple. Focus on each other, not on getting a reservation at that crazy restaurant. If you can just eat your food out of the boxes, you don’t even have to worry about dishes, freeing up your hands for other things…

#2 Write One Specific Thing in Your Card

Avoid greeting cards that use the words, “Sometimes I…” or “Even though I.” These are the gateways to banal cliché and must be avoided if you are to achieve awesomeness on Valentine’s Day. Nevertheless, the card itself isn’t too important, provided you write something specific and personal, even one thing that you appreciate.

Do you appreciate the past with this person? Do you look forward to the future? These are all things you can mention in the card. Can your card have Pepe Le Pew on it in the process? Absolutely.

#3 Pick Up One Significant Thing

I used to get stressed about picking up chocolate or flowers until I realized that it’s far more important to pick one significant thing that my wife actually likes. This shows that I’m paying attention to her and know her. Flowers aren’t a bad idea necessarily, but the bigger deal is demonstrating that I listen to her and appreciate who she is. Buying one significant gift such as her favorite drink, even if it’s something non-alcoholic, communicates something far more significant.

There you have it, my three steps to having an awesome Valentine’s Day. If you screw up these three simple tips, don’t come crying to me.

This morning I was trying to imagine what Christmas would be like if my family got together and decided we were going to discuss everything we believe about politics, religion, same-sex marriage, abortion, U.S. foreign policy, and anything else that may be a source of contention. Just for the fun of it, we could sit around and evaluate one another’s beliefs and life decisions, criticizing them one by one.

I doubt we would make it to the meal, which would be rather sad since we always have pierogies on Christmas Day.

I don’t have any intention of trying this out. Rather, I write this in order to follow up on last week’s post about Christian unity and the idea that we can remain united despite our divisions.

The more I think about families, the easier it is for me to believe that meaningful Christian unity can be possible today despite the fragmented nature of Christians. It’s true that most of us know the right answer on paper: we are united by the bond of Jesus. Believing that statement when someone holds a belief that seems to run counter to the Bible or acts against the spirit of love requires a bit more faith than we can muster some days.

When I think of the differences in my own family and our ability to gather every year for great parties that have no shortage of love, I’m hopeful about Christianity. Many of us are already experts at living at peace and unity with family despite major differences.

We know how to avoid sensitive topics.

We know how to focus on what joins us together.

We know how to show an interest in others who are quite different from us.

There have been days when I’ve despaired about Christianity and the ways we are hopelessly fragmented. However, this morning, I am hopeful.

Even now we are all looking forward to the birth of Jesus, celebrating his coming among us and the arrival of God’s salvation. We all struggle with materialism. We all have long to-do lists before we can celebrate the holidays.

When we sit down to pray, seeking God amidst busy days and tasting the joys of his presence, we are all connecting to the same Father who loves us. As we tap into the peace and love that comes from our one Lord, may he share with us his passionate love for his people.

Last night something began to flicker in my mind. Ideas assembled and took shape. Order emerged out of chaos, and I knew what I had to do.

Turning down the heat and yanking the chain on my desk lamp, I closed every window on my computer save for Word, and I started to write late into the night. Well, I stopped sometime around midnight, but that’s mighty late for someone who aims to be in bed by 9:30 most nights.

I had forgotten what it’s like to be completely immersed in my writing. I’d hit a burst of inspiration that I’ve been missing for many months. In fact, I hadn’t felt that good in four years.

It was like I rediscovered a part of myself.

Last night reminded me why I love the chaotic, uncertain, freewheeling life of writing. I really needed that moment of excitement and pure joy where the words flowed onto the page. Never mind the editorial bloodbath that awaits them. Such is the fate of all first drafts.

I don’t care what becomes of those words. I only care that I was able to string them together with such clarity of mind and ease.

How easily we lose sight of our first loves. There are so many things that can eat up our time. So many distractions can help us forget.

I’ve been fighting to regain my writing time, jumping on any opportunity to ride a wave of inspiration. The wave that hit last night carried me quite far—so far that I’ve been reminded why I love writing so much.

My one regret is that I didn’t ask myself sooner: “What do you love and what is keeping you from it?”

In case you’re wondering, I always turn down the heat when I write late at night so that I only stay up if I still have good ideas. It’s too tempting to stay up late on Facebook or ESPN, so crank down the heat, keep my fingers moving, and go to bed with my mind empty and my body shivering.

If you love human drama, you may be hard-pressed to find a better source than a writers conference. They’re usually held in fairly sterile, ho-hum convention environments, but within those walls are people who have dreams, ideas, and hopes.

There are the hunters, the hunted, the frustrated, the naïve, and the insanely hopeful. Editors and agents keep a low profile in corners with their bottles of water until a timid author ambles up to them and asks a few questions that sometimes take tragic turns.

Other times an agent is clearly on the way to the bathroom and an overly zealous prospective author seizes that precise moment to waylay the agent with a brilliant, unique idea. I can almost hear the author saying it now:

“It’s going to be a memoir about MY LIFE. It’s going to AMAZING!!!”

My sense is that the heartbreak outweighs the fulfillment for most at writing conferences. We all can’t get a big book deal. No agent or editor can pick out the best new book idea. In fact, one agent said he would not have acquired the best-selling book Heaven Is for Real if the author had brought it to him.

Can you see what kind of drama we’re dealing with here?

I want to speak directly to writers, and really, to anyone with an idea or a dream.

I know that most of us writers and creative folks sulk into these conferences with nerves on edge. We’re afraid that our dreams are about to be dashed to the ground.

It’s kind of like Jr. High again: “What if nobody likes me, and they make fun of my idea?”

I get that. You really don’t want to make the “anecdotes” at a literary agent’s future conference talk. You don’t want to be that crazy writer the agents laugh about behind closed doors.

So here’s my advice to writers when you go to a conference:

Get Perspective: Writers Have Power

Editors need authors with great ideas that will sell as books. They need you. Authors have a lot of power. Yes, we don’t get paid until an editor gives us the thumbs up, but you’re attending a writing conference as an equal in the sense that you are critically important to the book production process. The main difference is the amount of experience you have.

Keep an Open Mind

If you don’t want to be that crazy writer, go to a conference with an open mind. Refine your book’s 1-2 sentence pitch, and ask every expert and author you can find for feedback. Prune the crazy out before you’re pitching a full book or proposal.

Learn and Refine

Don’t stop refining your craft and proposal. Even if you think your proposal is perfect, keep an open mind. You book may not fully take shape until the sixth round of major revisions.

Don’t Be Afraid of Unique Ideas

The tension of every editor and agent is they want something unique and fresh without being too… unique—since readers won’t know what to do with it. In most cases an agent or editor will know if your idea will work, but there are notable exceptions.

If you can find a wide range of positive feedback for your ideas, don’t fear the thumbs down that editors and agents may give you. Sometimes you need to wait for the right person who has the same vision for your idea.

Tap Into the Source of Your Power

This last bit of advice is for Christian writers. Author and keynote speaker Angela Hunt mentioned that Christians already have a calling as followers of Jesus, and therefore our writing is directed by our pursuit of him and his Kingdom. I love the freedom found in that statement.

Christian writers only need to worry about communicating what God has placed on our hearts. If God wants us to reach people with our writing, he’ll give us the ability to share his message.

If you’re worried about the message of your book, trust it with God. However, avoiding an agent on his/her way to the bathroom is up to you.

There are lots of things that writers need. Most of us would list coffee as a pretty high priority. Others crave a quiet place to write. I personally prefer a bustling café with some headphones—that is, unless there are some goofy teenagers nearby that I can eavesdrop on.

I credit any of my ability to write funny dialogue with sitting near teenagers in cafes for so many years.

Writers need rest and breaks. They need time completely away from their computers.

Writers also need a nice little journal where they can scribble down ideas, make lists, and draft their dreams.

These are all necessary things. However, writers also need training and networking. It’s amazing how much heartache and struggle you can be spared by listening to another writer’s story.

For instance, I heard an interview with Jon Acuff of the blog and book Stuff Christians Like. He shared in a podcast that his popular blog was one of fifty ideas. The other 49 didn’t make it. He also shared on his blog that sometimes his jokes completely bomb—even in rooms full of people who are there to hear Jon Acuff bring the funny.

Knowing that experimentation and failure are so integral to the life of a writer, I’ve been encouraged to take more chances and to try new things. You can only get that kind of courage by learning from fellow writers who have gone before you.

That is why I’m attending the Indianapolis Christian Writers Conference. I need to soak up insight from writers and publishing veterans—refueling myself for the months ahead. I need to be shaken out of my shell, pushed to try things I’d never think of on my own.

At the same time, I hope that I’ll be able to bless writers who can learn something from my own experiences.

About a year ago a Christian organization sent me an e-newsletter asking for help. They needed people who understood writing and websites. It was a natural fit for me, and so I volunteered.

I heard back within a day: “We’ll be in touch!”

That was the last I heard from them.

A few months later a similar appeal appeared in their next newsletter. I archived it without giving it much thought, and that has been bugging me lately. Perhaps they really did need help. In addition, what was going through my mind when they didn’t reply to my offer to help?

I’ll bet that this has either happened to you or that you may have failed to follow through with someone. I used to work in Vermont’s nonprofit sector, and believe me, there are lots of nonprofits that are long on passion and short on communication and organization.

I want to see churches, Christian ministries, and nonprofits succeed, so I thought it would help to unpack what we say to people when we don’t follow through on a call for help. In order to avoid calling any names, I’d like to use the fictitious Save the Cheese Campaign as my example because we all know that a world without cheese would be a very sad place.

The Message

Let’s say a message arrives in my inbox one day that says something like this:

“Thanks for signing up for the Save the Cheese Campaign e-newsletter. Studies show that cheese has never been more in DANGER. We need your help spreading the word about our important work. We need artists, poets, web designers, writers, rabbit owners, and anyone with an unpronounceable Americanized Polish last name to join our team. Contact us today! It’s urgent! Don’t let them cut our cheese!!!!”

I read such a note and say, hey, I can help! So I write an e-mail and hear nothing back. This is what I start to think:

You Suck

After sending them an e-mail with my credentials and hearing nothing back, I’m left to imagine that they just think I suck. I start to imagine someone at the Save the Cheese Campaign writing something like this:

“Dear Mr. Cyzewski:

It has come to our attention that you desire to help the Save the Cheese Campaign, but upon reviewing your experience and credentials we have found that you are no where near cheesy or competent enough to do us or our threatened cheese any good. Have you considered a career as a traffic cone? We actually hold you in such low esteem that after completing this note, I will crumple it up and toss it into a trash can where you will never find it, adding yet another uncertainty to your disappointing, meaningless drift through a cruel and uncaring world that will soon be without cheese because of driveling fools like you.

Yours Cordially,

Daphne Wensleydale”

That is the worst case scenario for me, but there are some other things organizations could say by failing to communicate…

We’re Not Important

If I don’t hear back from an organization that asked for my help, I could also think that this organization isn’t doing work that is important or urgent. I mean, maybe cheese isn’t endangered after all? The supermarkets are stocked with cheese after all and there seem to be plenty of cows about.

The “we’re not important” message will lead to me delete future e-mails from such an organization. But I’d delete future messages from the Save the Cheese Campaign for another reason…

We’re Disorganized

Having worked in nonprofits, I know that business training is not necessarily a high priority in some organizations. If someone can’t figure out how to follow through on the responses to a request for help, then the organization could be quite disorganized and difficult to work with.

Use spreadsheets people!

The Save the Cheese Campaign should be able to figure out how to send me a generic message saying something like, “Thanks for getting in touch with us. We value your willingness to help, but the response from our friends was so overwhelming that we’re all set for now. The Cheese will be saved for now, but please keep us in mind for the future.”

The inability to send so simple a message tells me that the Save the Cheese Campaign will be a poor partner to work with for my volunteer time. I want to be effective and helpful, but I’d suspect that if they ever do follow through, they’ll be sending me urgent stuff to edit at 6 pm on a Friday and never think to say thanks afterward.

We Communicate Something When We Fail to Communicate

I write all of this to say that failing to follow up in our communication can send the worst message. I know I’ve failed to follow up on some e-mails with folks, and I regret the messages I’ve sent without thinking. Communication fills in gaps and connects us with others.

When something life-changing or justice-related is on the line, consistent communication is all the more critical. Whether you’re recruiting volunteers at your church or getting in touch with a nonprofit to volunteer, the ability to follow through effectively can really make or break your ministry and service.

I put together my Save the Cheese campaign parody to help the “ignored” folks such as myself to also rethink our reactions to organizations that fail to follow up. Organizations are run by imperfect people who are sometimes swamped and over capacity. They may deserve the benefit of a doubt.

As for me, I won’t give the Save the Cheese Campaign another second of my time.

I read an absolutely brilliant post yesterday by Sarah at Emerging Mummy about her frustrations with women’s ministry, particularly the temptation to focus on topics such as crafts, clutter, and cooking without delving into the deeper heart issues and costly practices of discipleship. I wrote that her post reminded me of my frustrations with men’s ministries that focus on killing stuff, mixed martial arts, military metaphors, and aggressive sports.

Then Sarah asked me to write about it.

So I did.

You can check out my post over at Sarah’s blog today: In Which Some Guys Do Not Want to Kill Stuff in Men’s Ministry

My thanks to Sarah for being my home away from home today!

When I have one project or chore going on, it always seems like a good idea to add one or two others into the mix while I’m in the mood.

Yesterday I had a meeting down in Cincinnati. I thought to myself, Well, while I’m down in Cincy, why not stop at IKEA? We needed a couch, and there just so happened to be a floor model couch hanging out in the sale room. I couldn’t resist the half off price tag.

While some guys loaded it into our station wagon, I continued e-mailing with a guy about a washing machine. It was only a few years old, and the price was pretty irresistible. I told him I’d be there later that night.

After sitting in gobs of traffic, I zoomed into our garage, dumped off the couch, and set off for the washer. As it turned out, the seller lived about 45 minutes away from us in the deep, dark country.

I meandered along back roads, searching for the seller’s mailbox. On the first pass I missed it. I caught a glimpse of it the second time. Finally I rolled into his driveway on the third try, puttering past an imposing fence with a “No Trespassing” sign. I drove down a gravel driveway surrounded by fields and trees with only darkness before me.

It didn’t look good.

“This is where people go to get murdered,” I thought to myself.

I imagined a ramshackle home with a huge tree stump in front of it where a bloody axe rested lazily, waiting for the next buyer.

On my most optimistic days I’m a jumpy, stressed out person. As I approached a dark hill, I dialed the seller’s number, and he picked up.

My mind went blank. What the hell was his name? I just picked one, got it wrong, but recovered by identifying myself. He probably thought I was nuts.

“Yep, it’s a long driveway. I should have mentioned that,” he said. “You’re almost there.”

A few seconds later I drove up to a beautiful log home with huge lights illuminating everything. There weren’t any axes dripping blood into tree stumps. I only found a courteous farmer who helped me load the washer into my car and shook my hand.

I drove home marveling at the disconnect between my anxiety and reality as thick sheets of fog descended on the dark country road.