Though most readers know her as Tamara Out Loud, Tamara Lunardo has made her noise by writing powerful, hilarious, and deeply honest blog posts that often leave her readers laughing out loud. We’re fortunate to have her guest post today:

I’ve heard it from both sides, each passionate, each convinced, each sure of God’s design.  I’ve heard them trace threads of their own theologies throughout the scriptures, winding them tightly around what they hold true. I’ve heard them tear up Paul’s letters over whether to permit a woman to speak, preach, teach, minister, or lead. I have heard them and heard them and heard them, and I am tired of hearing it.

I am tired of the arguments, the anger, the divisions, the hurt; I am tired of it all. And so I think the most subversive thing I can do amid the fight is to do what I am passionate about, what I am convinced of, what I am sure is God’s design: I can write. I can write because God gifted me to, and when He gives you a gift, you do not debate the merits of using it. You say a humbled thank-you, and then you use it.

And when I write, a funny thing happens: Neither complementarian nor egalitarian need argue. God permits a woman to speak.

When I write stories of Jesus’ meeting me at the well or of His barging in on my Damascus road, God permits a woman to preach. When I write stories of seeing grace light dark places or of learning love in unexpected form, God permits a woman to teach. When I write stories of painful struggle or of raucous laughter, God permits a woman to minister. When I write stories of baring raw honesty or of poking at man-made taboo, God permits a woman to lead.

When I write, God permits a woman to speak, and I am only a whisper in a beautiful, growing chorus.

When God permits a woman to lead, people can share stories long pressing their hearts because they first saw me share mine. When God permits a woman to minister, hurting hearts who would not venture inside a church building can find community in my written spaces. When God permits a woman to teach, a worship leader can pray new hope with thoughts I have put to paper. When God permits a woman to preach, a pastor can reach his congregation with a sermon infused with my imagery.

And for now this is enough; I don’t need to hear the arguments. God permits a woman to speak, and I do.

About Today’s Blogger

Tamara works out her thoughts on life and faith at TamaraOutLoud.com, occasionally with adult language, frequently with attempted humor, and hopefully with God’s blessing. Editor of What a Woman is Worth through Civitas Press, she holds a BA in English and her five children, when they let her; she almost never holds her tongue.

About the Women in Ministry Series

The Women in Ministry Series is a collection of guest posts that aims to:

• Provide an alternative to the women in ministry debates by telling the stories of women in ministry.
• Encourage women to explore their God-given callings.

You can stay updated on the latest post each week by signing up for the weekly e-mail list. (You also get a free E-book!)

Comment Policy: Everyone is welcome to leave a comment. However, this series takes for granted that women are called by God into every facet of ministry. This is not the place to debate that point and such comments will be removed. Women have been told “no” in far too many places. This is one place that is committed to saying “yes.” For more about the comment policy, read here.

Next Week’s Blogger: Cortney Dale

You know those comment threads that go on for paragraph after paragraph? I’m trying to stop that.

Who wants to read a short essay each time I leave a comment?

So far, it’s worked out pretty well. When I was tempted to write a lot in the comments at someone’s blog, I just dropped in a link to a relevant article. As it turned out, the blogger already knew about that article and my perspective.

Conversation over. No need to duke things out. I’m glad he knows about my point of view. If it doesn’t work for him, a long, rambling blog comment won’t change his mind.

Despite this success, I somehow entered into a comment thread on Facebook that turned into a series of short essays by one particular person. Ironically, when I pointed out to the essayist that her long, rambling comments weren’t readable or convincing, she decided to leave a few more.

I think I know how she feels. It’s like you run into someone who HAS to be wrong. It’s a Jekyll and Hyde transformation where you just… can’t… stop… typing. On and on you type. It’s like drinking salt water—only leaving you thirsting to type more. “If I just put it right, he’ll change his mind!”

Of course the conversation topic was women in ministry.

This woman was a complementarian frustrated with the way egalitarian’s such as myself play fast and loose with the Bible.

She presented her “airtight” case based on several bits of scripture that are quite popular with complementarians.

I’d like to step back for a moment and consider what’s going on when someone like me or her starts to list out arguments online like this. There is a presumption that the other party doesn’t know something. Supplying the information in a convincing format will make the difference, right?

Well, I discovered that as awesome as my link may have been, that particular blogger wasn’t convinced. After recovering from the shock that someone… disagreed with me, I had to back off. Well, back off or throw more arguments into the comments, most likely wasting my time and his time.

And there’s something even bigger going on when we engage in these long, drawn out debates in our Facebook and blog comments. We’re throwing information at people we don’t know without any clue about their background, experiences, or knowledge.

This woman didn’t know it, but I’d spent years—and I mean years—studying everything I could find about those verses that she interpreted for me with such certainty. I’d interacted with the champions for her view. I’d also written long papers taking her line of reasoning to task.

Am I right? I think so, but hey, you never know. However, I think a lot of the frustration we hit in these online debates and discussions is the lack of knowledge about the other party. I’ll admit, it’s really frustrating to invest so much time (and money, hello seminary loans) into sorting through a really weighty issue and then being lectured as if I just needed someone to explain it to me on Facebook.

It will always be tough to sort through these tough debates if we don’t know who we’re talking to and what they know.

My suspicion is that I always assume I know more. Always. Things become complicated when the other party feels the same way.

Unless we know who we’re talking to, we’ll just continue dumping information onto others who don’t want it.

I will admit that my sarcastic side was tempted to write to this complementarian, “If I agree with you, does that I mean I’ve submitted to your authority and you’ve instructed a man?” I didn’t, but I thought about it—a lot.

Yeah, as I’ve ably demonstrated, most of the time our online debates don’t actually result in the sharing of useful information.

Since Jeff and I have both put out books on publishing and writing (A Path to Publishing is my introduction to nonfiction publishing), we exchanged some questions and answers for each other via e-mail. Here’s our running e-mail conversation about writing and publishing:

Ed’s Question

You often provide simple, straightforward ways to to get down to the business of writing on your blog, and I’m often impressed with the clarity and focus of your writing. How do you avoid distractions or the temptation to stall when you dig into a writing project?

Jeff’s Answer

Any image of productivity I project is an illusion. I am lazy, undisciplined, and unmotivated. I need to trick myself into doing the things that I must. Even with writing, I am this way.

How do I avoid distractions and the temptation to stall? Well, first of all, I stall every day. But I also realize that I am my own worst enemy. I am what is holding me back. In order to push through, I have to realize there is a cost to my not sharing my work — a pretty big one. The fear of not doing work that matters forces me to create, forces me to ship (even when I’m scared a project isn’t ready).

I take things in small steps, little by little. If I ever tackled a big project, understanding how large it was, I wouldn’t begin. Instead, I break it into small chunks and take it one step at a time. This is how you train for marathons, and this is how you write a book.

Jeff’s Question

Can you really live as a freelancer? How do you make a living from writing? What advice would you have for those starting out?

Ed’s Answer

With a few caveats and qualifiers, it is possible to make a respectable living as a freelance writer. It’s really tough to make a living as a full time book author or magazine writer, so I’ll just say that a sure-fire way to earn a living as a freelance writer is through business writing. Keeping things ridiculously brief, I’d suggest starting by creating excellent work that you can share as part of a portfolio on your website: articles, blog posts, e-books, etc. Then, and some may be shocked by this, advertise yourself in places like Craig’s List. I have an ad on ThumbTack.com which I can regularly re-post to Craig’s List. My approach is a bit like your publishing strategy: create something that is valuable and let others find you.

I’ve found work in a variety of ways, but by advertising myself, I’ve attracted the kinds of clients that I want to work for and who can pay my rates. I should add the caveat that I get medical benefits through my wife, and I would need double my current client load in order to fully support us financially by myself–something that I think I could do but don’t want to try since my plan is to keep writing as a stay at home dad. If you’re starting out, the most important conversations you need to have are with your spouse or roommates, as your income may fluctuate for a year or so while you get yourself established.

Ed’s Question

What investment, practice, or strategy has paid off beyond your expectations?

Jeff’s Answer

What has worked for me is actually writing. Getting up every day and writing (no matter what) for a year made me a better writer than occasionally writing for decades. I used to write when I felt inspired, and I would write a LOT. Now, I just write a little each day, and it has made me better than ever. That in addition to reading a lot has made me a better writer.

Jeff’s Question

Ed, for someone who is approaching their first book (I know you’ve written a few), what advice do you have for them? How do you start? How do you finish? How do you keep showing up after it gets hard?

Ed’s Answer

In order to start a nonfiction book (which is what I write), I’m a big believer in outlining but also trusting my instincts to write a section if I’m in a groove. I use sub-headings in my chapters, but now I also break things down into small bits: opening story, big idea, illustration, summary, transition to next point, and then another story. That may sound like there isn’t a whole lot of magic to that approach, but a nonfiction book needs to have a sound structure where each idea and story connects so that readers know why they need to keep reading. In my experience, good outlines make magic possible.

When writing gets hard, I change format. I make revisions on  printed pages. I restart problem chapters on a legal pad where the writing is low stakes. I begin each day with editing before the creative writing. Sometimes I just go to bed.

In order to finish, you need a deadline—something that’s essential if you’re self-publishing. I know I’ve done all that I can when I’m really sick of the book. Having just sent the first draft of my next book out, I’m really happy I won’t have to look at it for a while!

Ed’s Question

For those who have been blogging for a little while but don’t feel like they’re getting anywhere, what would you suggest they do?

Jeff’s Answer

Well, you have two options: Quit or keep going.

If you quit, you can start over or move on. It may be that blogging is not for you. Contrary to what some people think, I don’t believe everyone should have a blog. It’s a great way to express yourself, but if you’re not willing to do the work, why bother? You’re probably better suited to invest your time and talent elsewhere.

That said, if you decide to keep going — if you conclude that blogging actually is for you — then be honest: Are you really providing the best possible content you can? Or are you doing what I did for years, pushing out mediocre stuff and trying to pass it off as excellent? So many people online want an audience or more attention.

Our world is addicted to celebrity, and now with social media, we can all be “famous.” The challenge, though, is to be famous for the right reasons — not because your controversial or contentious, but because you actually have something meaningful to say.

It’s hard to give general advice, but if you’re like me, you may find that you weren’t completely respecting the craft of blogging. Maybe you saw other writers out there “making it” and thought you could do better. But when you started doing it every day, you realized how hard it actually was. I suggest humbling yourself and becoming a student. I am always learning what I don’t know — as it relates to writing, technology, and even human motivation.

For me, I needed to quit and start over. Doing this gave me a fresh start and enabled to say what I really wanted to say. I blogged for five years before I had any kind of audience. If you aspire to reach people, be prepared to practice and do the work. It may happen more quickly than you thought, or it may take time. But if you do the work, you’ll reap the rewards.

Jeff’s Question

What’s the secret to getting published? We’ve all heard the pat answers, but what’s been your experience? Is there something that doesn’t get talked about – something important?

Ed’s Answer

There are so many different ways people can get published, but I do have one tip and one secret. The tip is this: go to conferences and get to know the editors. Ask them what they’re excited about and ask yourself, “Can I work with this person?” and “Will this person invest in me and my ideas?” Coffeehouse Theology happened in part because I clicked with the acquisition editor.

My secret, which may not be much of a secret to some people, is that your experiences will define what you write and editors will notice when you have a story to tell. So either dig into your past and find your story or go out to serve other people and live a story that you can tell or that helps you write with greater insight. One of the first editors who saw the early, early draft of what became Coffeehouse Theology asked what kinds of experiences I had in ministry and with theology. I didn’t have enough, and I had to do more than research and study. I had to get out and minister. The less I live my days obsessed with myself, the easier it is to write my stories when I’m alone. The more I push myself beyond my boundaries, the better my writing.

I can’t thank Jeff enough for the time he took to answer my questions. All the best on your upcoming book Jeff!

About Jeff Goins

From Jeff’s About page: “I live with my wife Ashley and our dog Lyric and have been working from home for a nonprofit called Adventures in Missions since 2006.

I’ve written and guest-blogged for a number of publications and blogs. For more about my work, see my writing portfolio.

I also help organizations with their marketing, communications, and creativity. If you want to work with me or have me come speak to your team, give me a shout.”

Perkins, a man who had actually reconciled with the murderer of his brother, said that he had recently finished speaking at a church when a young woman approached him. She said something like this, “My grandmother supported segregation, but she was a dedicated Christian who was nice to everyone.”

Perkins replied, “Well, your grandmother was a bigot!”

Sometimes being a nice Christian isn’t enough when you’re contributing to injustice. Being nice doesn’t undo the degrading of another person.

I write this dressed in clothing that may have been made by poorly treated workers on a computer that was almost certainly manufactured by workers who were overworked and underpaid. Am I part of the problem? How can I doubt that?

I some days wonder if I have any integrity to speak of justice. I try to do things here and there to serve the poor, and I still struggle with the fact that I profit from injustice. However, I’m doing a few things to address injustice where I’m at, and one of the areas where I feel called to speak is with inequality and women. I write this as someone trying to undo a few wrongs, even if there is much that remains to be done.

Where I’m Coming From

I want to begin by explaining that I believe women are created to be fully equal to men. I know there are some Christians who disagree with that, saying that God created a kind of hierarchy. I used to belong to that camp, but I don’t any more. I’m not going to argue points.

I only want to say that I am one of many Christians who believes in gender equality because I find that the most compelling way to read scripture. I tried the other way, and too many passages from scripture fell apart in the process, forcing me to pick and choose which ones to take “literally.”

That’s just my story and my perspective. I believe the Bible makes men and women equal in the image of God. I understand that some followers of Jesus disagree with me.

What I Hear

When I hear someone argue that the Bible makes women somehow unequal to men, there really isn’t any way to dress up that perspective for me. As a former member of that camp, I understand there’s no malice intended. I know there’s a simple desire to obey the Bible.

Some even try to be nice about it.

Whether nice or judgmental toward me, I keep hearing the same thing: injustice. Saying that women are anything other than what God made them to be smacks  me as flat out wrong. There are two irreconcilable perspectives here.

We can’t find middle ground. Women are either fully equal to men in God’s created order or they’re not. Even if I hear nice words coming from those who deny that equality, I still hear injustice. I can’t help that.

How I React

Though I understand that few, if any, people who “downgrade” women are malicious in their intent, I still find myself reacting strongly with waves of heartbreak and anger. It’s hard to fight back these feelings as I hear someone tell a woman she is somehow less in the sight of God—even if it’s dressed up “nice” as a different calling.

I know that we can’t make a one to one correspondence with racism here. I’m not out to paint anyone as a villain. However, anyone denying the equality of women believes in something that is unjust in my reading of scripture, and it devastates me in so many ways.

In writing all of this, I hope I can at least explain why these discussions about women and ministry and women and equality become so emotionally charged. Both sides really do want to remain true to the Bible. I have no doubt in my mind about that since I’ve belonged to both camps here.

However, I can also sense that those who support full equality have an edge, even a chip on their shoulders that isn’t always understood. We aren’t just having a theology debate here. We’re talking about the something so deeply personal and powerful for half of the people on this planet. This is a matter that can literally alter the life choices of thousands if not millions of women. This is an issue that ties into personal worth as much as it does to ministry and theology.

I don’t think those who quote scriptures about women remaining silent understand the hornet nest they’re stirring up. I’m not saying we can’t have these discussions, but I think we should only enter into them with two things in mind:

• A full commitment to actually having a discussion where we share our stories and how we arrived at our beliefs rather than fighting to convert one side to the other.
• An understanding that so much is at stake for those who believe in equality—enough that it may be hard to keep a cool head.

Equality for women is one of those issues where I’m continually reminded that the internet is a terrible place for discussion and debate. I hope each side continues to recognize that God is working among them. I hope discussions continue to happen in the appropriate forums. I hope that we can build more understanding.

At the same time, we’re arguing over a matter of justice—at least one side of this debate is. The stakes are high. Denying the equality of women with a nice, rational argument stings every bit as bad as a caustic remark. That’s just the reality we have. May God give us wisdom and grace to know when to keep our comments to ourselves and to dispense grace and peace instead of conflict.

We are lucky to have the multi-talented Alise Wright as our guest blogger for today’s post:

I don’t know if music can technically be a part of your DNA from a scientific standpoint, but I’m pretty certain that music was etched into my soul from the start. From my earliest days, music has played an integral role in bringing me joy.

Likewise, the church has always been a part of my life. Some of my first memories are in the church. I can’t think of a season when the church hasn’t been a key character in my existence.

It makes sense that the two would find their way together.

It started from an early age, singing and playing the piano with my family music group. We were like the von Trapp family singers, only with cassette tapes of Amy Grant and Sandi Patti. And there were only five of us. And none of us were running away from Nazis. But otherwise, just the same.

Later music and faith came together in our church’s choir. Then again in college at the Newman Center. I’ve played the organ for a small mainline church and a keyboard stack in a large mega church.

Music and faith are inextricably linked for me.

But music as a ministry? That idea was a bit more elusive.

The overwhelming majority of my church experience has taken place in congregations where women were not permitted to be leaders.

No one ever said that women couldn’t serve, they just couldn’t lead. Women could teach Sunday School or work in the nursery or beautify the church building or be a part of music. However, the distinction between serving and leading always seemed to make these things the lesser ministries, and because I’ve never been one who liked to be pushed to the sidelines, I simply didn’t think about playing music as a ministry. It was just something that I did as an act of worship.

Then music was taken away from me for a season. I was told that I could attend church, but not have anything to do with music.

I thought that I could put it away. I could still worship from my seat on Sunday morning. I could still sing along to my MP3 player. I could still play the piano in my home.

But though this was all true, there was something missing.

The ministry aspect of music.

No matter how much I wanted a more prestigious seeming ministry, music was the ministry to which God called me. Playing was a way for me to enter into worship, but it was also a way for me to help others do the same. By doing this, I was participating in ministry.

And when I was ministering to others, God ministered to me.

If the creator of the universe can minister to me without a fancy title, I don’t need a title to minister either.

About Today’s Blogger

Alise Wright is married to her best friend and is mom to four incredible kids. She loves knitting, writing, playing keyboards in her cover band, and eating soup. She also loves making new friends and you can connect with her at her blog, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

About the Women in Ministry Series

The Women in Ministry Series is a collection of guest posts that aims to:

• Provide an alternative to the women in ministry debates by telling the stories of women in ministry.
• Encourage women to explore their God-given callings.

You can stay updated on the latest post each week by signing up for the weekly e-mail list. (You also get a free E-book if you sign up in January)

Comment Policy: Everyone is welcome to leave a comment. However, this series takes for granted that women are called by God into every facet of ministry. This is not the place to debate that point and such comments will be removed. Women have been told “no” in far too many places. This is one place that is committed to saying “yes.” For more about the comment policy, read here.

Next Week’s Blogger: Tamara Lunardo (of Tamara Out Loud)

Giving up on any hope of making a profit had a way of sharpening my focus, training my heart to think beyond bank accounts, page views, and marketing platforms (though I will see a few benefits along these lines in the long run). Giving a book away is all about a passion for an idea, believing in my message to the point that I’m willing to share it as widely as possible at any cost.

I didn’t hold back with my latest E-book project. I created something that has value. Even a free book shouldn’t be a waste of someone’s time. I offered readers a chance to buy it for $.99 because I wanted to both provide a simple download option and a chance for them to support my work. However, the free download links on my site provided the same ideas and the same format.

Part of my motivation for this latest adventure in publishing had to do with helping to clean up a really big mess—a mess that I’ve contributed to over the years—divisions among Christians.

As I’ve shared my thoughts on unity and processed how we can make things better on this blog, a central idea emerged. It was not only worthy of an E-book, it was important enough to give it away.

I don’t plan on giving all of my books away this widely, but I know that I’ll do it again. It has been a refreshing reminder that storing up treasure in heaven and blessing others can sometimes fall aside, neglected while I try to build up financial security. Sometimes we have callings to fulfill and wrongs to set right.

Sometimes I need to try something new—something that doesn’t quite make sense but feels just so right that I can’t resist the call of adventure.

This post is part of Bonnie Gray’s Thursday Faith Jam. Visit Faith Barista today to read more stories about adventure.

One of my friends said something like this, “You seem to like all of this emerging church stuff, but you don’t point out what’s wrong with it.”

Insert: double-take, wounded look, and passionate reply, “Something wrong with the emerging church??? What do you mean?”

I’ll just stick a footnote here in the middle of this post since no one reads footnotes and note without any foot that this was in 2006 before it became fashionable to stop emerging… or whatever.

Still, my highly intelligent friend shocked me. How could he doubt the goodness of this new movement trying to recover practices from ancient Christianity and critiquing the ways Christianity had been infected by Enlightenment Rationalism? I mean really, is that not awesome sauce—that is, before Parks and Recreation taught us to use the phrase “awesome sauce?”

While my time with the emerging church stuff taught me to be jaded and suspicious about the Enlightenment’s effect on Christianity, I hadn’t yet thought that this emerging stuff needed to a taste of its own medicine. Could I find the downside?

As to the details of that, I’ll leave that to the experts. All I know is that I used to think I was on team awesome. I could see the flaws in fundamentalism, mainstream conservative evangelicalism, Catholicism, and mainline liberalism, but I could not see any flaws on team awesome.

How could I see flaws on team awesome? Would I not join team awesome unless it had all of the correct answers?

Clearly the people with the flaws were those not on team awesome… All that to say, it took me a little bit of time before I could see my friend’s point.

And here’s the thing: We have lots of team awesomes. I just read about a NEW team awesome on a popular Christian blog. Only this time the blogger mentioned the conservative flawed team, the liberal flawed team, the emerging/missional flawed team, and the NEW team awesome that doesn’t have any flaws.

The new, cutting edge, revolutionary, game-changing stuff never has any flaws because its part of team awesome. That is, until it’s not.

Reading that post brought me back to that conversation with my friend and the first time that I realized I was a member of a made up team awesome. After looking over the emerging/postmodern context stuff, it didn’t take long to find some flaws that tarnished my image of team awesome.

We were now team pretty good.

In all of this, a lesson from writing a Bible commentary may help. I know, I know, you probably think I’m losing it after reading that last sentence. Just bear with me for a moment…

When writing a commentary about a tricky passage, Bible scholars start with the least likely meaning of a passage and then work toward the most likely meaning. In other words, they rarely say something is “unbiblical” or “wrong” and they rarely say that one perspective is the “certain” or “biblical” meaning.

I always liked this approach to Bible study because it keeps us in our place, seeing things in a mirror dimly, realizing that God’s thoughts are not our own. We all have our most likely take on a Bible passage, but we don’t need to create unrealistic team awesomes that are 100% correct and don’t have any flaws.

At our very best, we’d all be kicked off team awesome if it did exist.

We’re stuck with team pretty good, providing the most likely answers to life. What may surprise us is that a “pretty good, most likely answer” is really all we ever needed.

The Bible is full of people who were just like us. It was written by people just like us. The details are there, tucked away in the spare prose and poetry. The trouble is how to unlock those details so that we can relate to the people in the Bible and sort out what it means for us.

We’re not used to reading books like the Bible. There are a lot of ways that’s true, but one obvious detail is that the Bible wasn’t typed on a computer with infinite pages. The writers of the Bible couldn’t pick up legal pads at Staples or drop off a manuscript at a printing press.

The Bible was written on scrolls—precious, limiting scrolls that could only hold so much. Long-winded writers need not apply for writing the Bible.

These authors were masterful in their economy of words. They distilled stories down to the most important details. If we see something in the Bible, no matter how small the detail, we need to ask, “Why is this here?”

This one question will help you dig into the backstory and the implied situations described in each story.

There are lots of other really good questions that will help you study Bible. However, this one question:

• Forces us to slow down
• Helps us read carefully
• Places us in the events recorded with new eyes

If we can answer the question, “Why is this here?” we may be able to figure out what the Bible has to say to us. We may find hidden treasures. We may even find out why we’re here.

Some conversations I happen to overhear. Other times the conversations boom from their sources, invading the ears of everyone within twenty feet. Even my headphones can’t save me. Yes, some people talk THAT LOUD in public.

While listening to conversations, I often catch myself classifying people into types. There are the super-impractical professor types who theorize all day, the bumper sticker activists who are awesome at talking loud and bumping into me when they walk by, and the religious groups who gather for one on one Bible study or “training” that often devolves into us vs. them conversations of one sort or another.

The moment I sort people into groups, I begin to either dismiss them or to develop common cause with them. And here’s the crazy thing: I don’t even know these people, but I’m already sorting out in my head the people I’d rather have over for a cup of tea with us and our rabbits.

All of this is based on looking at how people are dressed and hearing snippets of conversations. Once I create these divides, it’s infinitely harder to be kind to people when I’ve pegged them as too liberal, too conservative, too lazy, too combative, too quirky, too impractical, etc.

I think something happens online as well. We see a profile picture of someone, read a snippet of text on Twitter or Facebook, and we immediately stick people into groups. We write up profiles for people we hardly know, bulldozing over the complexities of their lives and the experiences that shaped who they are.

What gets me is that my type classification system destroys personal stories. While we often adopt the beliefs that our families, friends, and institutions pass on to us, it’s also important to note that our beliefs and actions are shaped by our stories. Speaking for myself, my stories have everything to do with how my beliefs have evolved over time.

For example, a reader of my website may read my reluctance to support the wars of the United States and immediately classify me as some kind of liberal, pacifist, wussy who hates American or whatever. However, you can’t understand my feelings about modern warfare until you learn about the ways war has impacted my family and friends, the research I’ve done, and the stories I’ve gathered together.

Knowing this about myself, I need to extend this same complexity and mystery to others. As I think about Christians living in peace with one another, to say nothing about any other daily interaction, this tendency to pre-sort people into groups and types before actually hearing their stories cuts us off from opportunities to love people for who they are, right where they’re at.

When I catch myself thinking that someone is a “type,” I need to repent. I need to ask God for new eyes and grace to share. However, I still think all bets are off for people who don’t have an inside voice.

We’re welcoming Jamie Wright as this week’s guest blogger in the Women in Ministry Series. You probably know about her incredible blog Jamie the Very Worst Missionary. 

I’m just gonna come out and say this: I never, ever, in a million years, wanted to be a “woman in ministry”. Never. And I never in my wildest dreams imagined that one day I would actually be one.

I grew up far from any church influence, so the very narrow example I had seen of women in ministry came mostly from television, where they were often portrayed in the form of nosy, judgmental, gossip-loving Bible-thumpers. As a teen, when I finally crossed paths with some real live women in ministry, I found them to be…well…nosy, judgmental, gossip-loving, Bible-thumpers. (“You know who’s going to burn in Hell? You, honey.” That’s how a youth pastor’s wife so gingerly shared the Gospel of Jesus with my 15 year-old self.)

Many years later, when my husband and I began the process of moving our family into full-time ministry, I wasn’t exactly aching for a chance to join the ranks of Pastor’s wives and Missionaries – at least not the ones I’d been exposed to, with their Bible tracts and sensible shoes, and their strong, loud opinions about who is going to burn in Hell.

The truth is, the women who ministered to my own wanting soul weren’t “women in ministry” at all. They were good neighbors and generous friends. They were soccer-Moms who took my babies off my hands for a few hours at a time, when I most needed help. They were steaming coffee dates where no subject was off limits, where laughter flowed freely and tears of anguish were met with tears of empathy. They were gentle spirits who whispered the Love of a Savior into my life, slowly and sweetly, because they understood that, through friendship, Grace abounds. It just does.

Those women didn’t work in churches. They had government jobs, they were part-time consultants, some were homemakers, one was a personal trainer, another ran a daycare. They taught me that there’s a really big difference between “women in ministry” and “women who minister”. And they showed me that a woman’s ability to deeply impact the world around her, her value in ministry, isn’t limited by her job title (or her husband’s).

That means that Missionary or not, I am a woman who is called to minister. Pastor’s wife or not, you are a woman called to minister. Sunday school teacher or not, your wife/sister/daughter/friend is called to minister.

Our neighbors and co-workers are counting on us to use our God-given gifts and abilities to bring Hope to this broken world. Our families and our friends are depending on us, with our uniquely feminine voices, to speak into their lives with wisdom and authority. And the God who created us, in all our girly glory, has released us to feed the hungry, care for the sick, love the unlovely, and guide the lost.

He has invited each and every one of us into ministry. Even the chick who never, ever, in a million years, wanted to be a “woman in ministry”.

About Today’s Blogger

Jamie writes from her home in Costa Rica, where she lives with her husband and three sons. She is best known for candid conversations about life and faith on her blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary.

If You Appreciate Jamie, Read This

I (Ed, the owner of this blog) couldn’t invite Jamie to contribute to this series without thinking of some concrete ways to support her and her husband Steve in their ministry. Jamie had no idea I was going to do this, but I’ve been plotting  a special ask of this series’ readers. Here it is:

1. Steve and Jamie are trying to figure out their next step in ministry. Will you commit to praying with them?
2. Whether they stay in Costa Rica or move someplace else, Jamie and Steve are going to need some serious bucks. They have poured themselves out in ministry to others, and I would like you to prayerfully consider donating toward their ministry. In particular, can you give at least $10? They have some major expenses coming up that we can help them meet so that they can focus on their ministry and family. Go here to donate: Donate at PayPal Now.

About the Women in Ministry Series

The Women in Ministry Series is a collection of guest posts that aims to:

• Provide an alternative to the women in ministry debates by telling the stories of women in ministry.
• Encourage women to explore their God-given callings.

You can stay updated on the latest post each week by signing up for the weekly e-mail list. (You also get a free E-book if you sign up in January)

Comment Policy: Everyone is welcome to leave a comment. However, this series takes for granted that women are called by God into every facet of ministry. This is not the place to debate that point and such comments will be removed. Women have been told “no” in far too many places. This is one place that is committed to saying “yes.” For more about the comment policy, read here.

Next Week’s Blogger: Alise Wright