:: in.a.mirror.dimly ::

I know I have a problem when I’m walking for less than 10 minutes from the café to my house, and I’m trying to remember to tweet something clever.

I know I’m a little unbalanced when Facebook has quadruple the visits of my invoice program.

When I’ve checked my inbox more times than I can count in a three hour span, I know that an intervention is needed.

Nagging questions come to mind: Am I too focused on creating an image for myself? Am I consumed with the minutiae of my day? Am I obsessed with self-promotion? Am I simply contributing to the noise and clutter of the world?

Over Christmas vacation, I kept a very low profile on my trinity of distraction. I left e-mails unanswered. I avoided Twitter like the plague. I even stopped myself from scanning Facebook for distractions.

Instead, I tried to focus on single activities such as writing a little, reading a book, or jotting down ideas in a notebook. Here are a few things I learned in the process:

Twitter Can Bring Out the Worst in Us

At its best, Twitter is a really efficient and low pressure way to communicate information with a broad group of people. At its worst, Twitter is a soul-sucking cesspool of self-obsessed minutiae where I scream out, “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!”

I started to think about what I wanted to tweet and what I saw others tweeting. At a certain point I grew weary of it. Twitter is a “what have you done for me lately” kind of service. It can be a grueling taskmaster that fragments ideas and chews up huge chunks of time with little to show in return—that is, if used for the purpose of distraction.

The Immediacy of Communication Enslaves Us

While reading a book or jotting ideas in my journal, I often thought that it would be nice to know if I had any e-mails in my inbox. I mean, my agent could have sent an e-mail saying that a big time publisher wants to pick up my next book!

Unfortunately, I can’t use that excuse 30 times a day, or however often I want to check my e-mail. OK, I try to do that. Saying no to myself is hard. The immediacy of our communication can be extremely convenient and also maddening. I can do something now, and putting it off until later feels like I’m doing something wrong.

What could possibly go wrong if I put off checking my e-mail of Facebook until later tonight? I don’t know, but I don’t want to find out. I heard a story once about a musician who missed a pretty sweet gig in Europe because he hadn’t check his e-mail first thing in the morning, and now I live my life tethered to the internet, fearing that I’ll miss… something.

When everything is important, we lose balance and perspective, treating everything as essential. This weakens us to the point that we can’t give our best energies to the most important things.

We All Grow Weary

My calling in life is to write. It drives me every day. If I can string together a few thousand words in a day, I go to bed feeling like I’ve accomplished what I’m put on earth to do—even if it all gets scrapped the next day.

Despite my love for writing, I needed a break from my blog and my books. I still jotted down ideas and even figured out my April Fools prank while on vacation, but as to my regular writing schedule, I needed to step back from it for a few weeks.

If my blog was allowed to continue making demands of me and my time, I would have wearied of it and treated it like a chore and not a joy.

The thing about seasons of rest is that we often don’t realize we need them until we immerse ourselves in the peace of silence and stillness. I have learned to recognize when my mind is spinning too fast for its own good, but I can only detect that if I stop long enough to diagnose what’s going on.

We take seasons of rest on faith, trusting that we need them and that God can work on us if we stop long enough to ask for his wisdom and healing.

I tend to be on the more suspicious end of things when it comes to trends in the Christian blogging world. If I want to make myself sound virtuous, I’ll say that I’m discerning. If I want to confess I vice, I could say that I’m critical and a tad grumpy.

When I heard that a bunch of people were choosing “one word” as a kind of resolution for the coming year of 2011, I confess that my discernment/critical nature kicked into high gear. I can’t say why I was suspicious. I knew very little about it. I just saw that it was becoming a trend.

There are enough “trends” in the Christian world that I think you can’t help becoming suspicious. So many trends are based on flawed theology or at least an imbalanced perspective of discipleship. Need I mention the “me first” prayer of Jabez that Americans love?

I can’t remember the exact details, but one day in late 2010 I was praying and God started to work on my critical attitude. In fact, God gave me a word for 2011: redemptive. At first I was a bit miffed at the Holy Spirit. “Dang it! You fell for this trend too?” As I reflected on what that word could mean for 2011, I realized that God was converging a bunch of stuff that had been accumulating for years.

I realized that God wanted to use me to bring healing, growth, and hope. I began to look at everything I did through the lens of what lead to “redemption.” Were my words and actions helping someone heal or grow into a place of restoration and wholeness?

That really messed up my year in the best way possible. I had to delete a lot of potential blog post and book ideas. My arrogance and selfishness appeared over and over again.

I could tell all kinds of stories about the past year, but two significant projects arose out of that word: “redemptive.” One is my series of guest posts in 2012 called the Women in Ministry Series. I hope to offer an alternative to the women in ministry debate by sharing the stories of women who are actually in ministry.

Rather than slinging scripture at one another, I think it’s time that we just acknowledged that we’re divided on this one. While we all serve the same Lord, it’s time for those of us who believe in the role of women in ministry to find ways to encourage more women to pursue God’s calling for their lives. I also hope that those with a more limited view of women in ministry will be challenged to reexamine scripture after reading some stories in this series.

Along similar lines, I also began rewriting a series of blog posts on unity and exploring some practical principles of Christian unity. I have been putting these practical thoughts on Christian unity together in an E-book titled Divided We Unite. It will be released this January. A lot of our faith-fights can be traced back to trying to force unity where there can only be division, while also losing sight of what truly binds us together as followers of Jesus.

In an extreme understatement, my one-word for 2011 radically changed my ministry and work.

Is There a Word for 2012?

I don’t want to just “think” of another word for 2012 just to have one. Perhaps that was my skepticism of this project at the outset. We’d all just think something like, “Ooooh, this is cool! Let me think of a word… How about ‘awesomeness’?”

However, there is something to this format that really works. I think God likes to speak to us in simple ways, and just listening for one word can take a lot of pressure off us, making it easier to hear the Spirit speak.

The One Word website talks about the power of the word: “if you let it, your word will shape you and your year. It will guide your decisions and help you grow.” I think really does miss something. Like I said, I’ve got that critical edge to me. What you or I choose for ourselves doesn’t mean all that much in terms of life change and discipleship. The power here comes from focusing on what God wants to do in and through us. To that end, God can use this One Word project to help us focus on what he wants to accomplish in our lives.

Setting aside “skeptical me,” I asked God if he had a word for me in 2012, and I sensed that he certainly did: freedom.

In an election year, we’ll be hearing a lot about “freedom” and “liberty.” Most of the time these words will mean being able to do whatever we want. Freedom is often linked with individualism and individual rights. It can mean that, but I think God wants to teach me about freedom with boundaries and interdependence on others.

God’s freedom restricts us in some ways so that we are truly “free” to be the people he made us to be. One practice that has already started is the practice of saying a simple prayer each morning where I “offer my day” to God. He’s been impressing on me that living as a disciple who is free from sin and who is able to serve God means taking an intentional step at the start of each day. Paul often writers about “offering ourselves to God.”

This exploration of freedom is both exciting and challenging. The results are tantalizing, but the road forward will no doubt be filled with restrictions and struggles.

Who knows what could happen in 2012 with a word like freedom…

Figuring out my ministry and calling in life has been a struggle that sometimes left me discouraged and frustrated. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been if there were a bunch of people saying, “God can’t use you in the ways you feel led. You can only serve in a few select areas.”

My reply would be, “So you’re saying that God made me a second-class citizen in his Kingdom?”

What I imagine for myself is what many women face in the real world of Christianity. I used to think that women could not teach men, hold authority over men, or even do all that much on Sunday morning. Then something shocking happened.

While attending Taylor University, a woman spoke about doing something I’d been taught women should never do: teach men.

During missions week, Marilyn Laszlo spoke about her missions work in Papua New Guinea. She ministered among an entire tribe as the only missionary. So far as I could tell, she was free to “teach” men during our meetings at Taylor. Even more eye-opening, she was the only missionary teaching the men in her village.

Some speak of God making special exceptions, calling in the JV female team when the males aren’t around—A League of Their Own for the church. The shakiness of this argument began to wear on me during missions week. Why would God make an exception if it was an absolute standard in scripture? Why were churches OK with women going to teach men in the jungle but not in the sanctuary on Sunday morning between 9 and 12 am? Should a solitary female missionary turn over authority to the men in her village when they reach a certain point of spiritual maturity?

Better yet, if women aren’t supposed to teach or hold authority over men, where do we draw the line for websites, books, and conferences? What if a female speaker at a conference begins to convict a man in attendance? Is that not a form of authority?

I dedicated myself to studying this issue. I learned about the context of the Old and New Testaments. I learned about women such as Deborah and Huldah—women God chose to lead and to teach. I learned about the Greek culture of the New Testament, the female oracles, and the rowdy female prophets that would have populated cities such as Ephesus and Corinth. I began to realize that we’re forced to either choose God’s standards for female leaders or Paul’s standards—making one or the other culturally situated.

For me, the issue of women in ministry is settled. I have no doubt that women were not only created fully in God’s image, but that women can serve in the same positions as men. Some Christians disagree with me on that one. As far as I’m concerned, I’m not interested in having this debate on my blog. There are plenty of other places on the internet to duke this out. I want to contribute something different to the issue of women in ministry: stories.

Stories That Open Eyes

When I learned about the incredible ways God used Marilyn Laszlo, I began to question my beliefs about women. God was performing miracles through this woman. Could I have been wrong? After years of studying scripture, I changed my position.

Stories about God’s work today can stretch us, force us to dig deeper into scripture, and to pursue different courses for our lives. Rather than debate theology, I want to create a place where women can tell their own stories of pursuing God’s call into ministry. I want every woman who has been told, “God can’t use you…” to read stories about women who have been affirmed by God.

Starting on January 13th, I’m launching a new series of guest posts that will go up every Friday called the Women in Ministry Series. I’ve asked some of the most talented women I know to share their stories of being called into ministry or of a woman who ministered to them. We’re going to create a new conversation about what God is doing in and through women, rather than getting lost in the debate about what women can and cannot do.

A Series That Builds Up Women

I think we’ve all seen threads of comments on blogs where an otherwise encouraging discussion is sidetracked by a peripheral debate. While I encourage readers of all perspective to check out this series, I want to make it clear that our discussions in the comments will not include debates about whether or not women can teach, lead, or speak in church—that women can teach or lead will be assumed. The goal here is to encourage women who have been told “no” for far too long, and therefore I want to create a safe and encouraging environment.

There are plenty of other bloggers out there who are eager to host debates on this topic or to advance a perspective counter to my own. It’s not like I’m suppressing anyone. Our goal is to simply create a different kind of conversation at this blog, and in order to do that on the internet, we need some rules.

For those who dislike these parameters, I have two words of encouragement. For starters, this is a great opportunity to practice  the Christian virtue of patience. Secondly, if you feel like your voice has been silenced, then you are in a perfect position to empathize with the thousands upon thousands of women who have felt the same way for hundreds of years.

How We’ll Begin the Series

The Women in Ministry Series begins on January 13th with a guest post by Sarah Styles Bessey of Emergingmummy.com. She’ll be followed by Jamie Wright of Jamietheveryworstmissionary.com. After them, I’ll share a preview for the next writer each week.

If you are a woman with a  story to tell, visit the project’s home page for submission guidelines. Stay tuned for the first post on January 13th. You can subscribe via the RSS feed or through the e-mail notification form at the top.

I pray that many will be encouraged by this new series. Thanks for reading!

I have this persona that I adopt on vacation that my wife and I call, “The Clam.” If you’re not familiar with clams, they don’t do a whole lot. They mainly sit around and say nothing. That describes both my ambition and my “action” during vacation.

I have a restless personality. I always like to have something going on. My journal is full of ideas. If some people don’t know what to write, my problem is picking which idea to pursue.

I push myself hard until the inevitable crash, which often happens during vacation—hence, the clam.

Clams don’t make for good company. You wouldn’t want a clam as a friend or a spouse. They just sit around and take up space. My new goal of late is to prevent myself from a severe case of the clams. My remedy? A season of rest.

Defining Rest

I was praying about rest in church yesterday, and I sensed that rest for a writer means not forcing myself to think hard about what I want to write. In other words, if an idea hits and I jot down a few pages about it, that’s easy and even enjoyable for me. However, work is something like this: telling myself, “OK, you’ve got to write something now, start brainstorming, outlining, and writing in order to hit a word count of 600 words.”

We leave tomorrow for a trip out east to visit family throughout Maine, Vermont, and Philadelphia. It’s going to be busy with all of the family we need to see, and as I thought about a season of rest, I decided that it was time to give this blog a rest for a few weeks. However, rest doesn’t mean that I’ll write nothing. It only means that I’ll be posting more irregularly and only when the “Spirit moves.”

Irregularity is a big “no, no” in the world of blogging. You’re supposed to schedule guest posts or set up a schedule of blog posts. As much as I love the idea of doubling my work load before vacation, I have a few reasons for making a full stop season of rest, despite the challenges it creates:

Rest Means the Discipline of Forcing Myself to Stop

There is a battle for control going on. Am I creating a cycle of activity that ends up crushing me? Rest takes me out of that cycle and lets my mind clear for a season.

Rest Means Facing Who I Am

Each day I face the tension of straining to cultivate a quiet inner Spirit that is sensitive to God, while staying on task and pursuing life-giving leisure activities. Once I remove work from the equation, I have a surplus of time to face who I am and what God wants to do with me.

Rest Means Risking the Loss of Momentum

The risk of rest is that I could lose momentum in my projects, readers of my blog, and focus. It will most likely be hard to jump back into the swing of things and to reassert my work schedule and rhythm.

Having said all of that, here are some benefits that I see coming from a season of rest:

Rest Reminds Us That We Have a Choice

When I am removed from the cycle of activity, I can reevaluate my choices. I can see myself in different circumstances and then identify the sources of stress. I can even cultivate new habits that will help my lead a more balanced life when I get back to work.

Rest Reminds Us That We Aren’t Defined by What We Do

Bank accounts and praise from colleagues are important, but rest removes me from those good things that I can raise to unreasonable heights of importance. I’m not defined by what I do each day, but by what God is able to do in and through me.

Rest Reminds Us That a Step Back Can Be a Step Forward

Our culture prioritizes progress, accumulation, and growth. Rest is resistance to these idols—or rest-istance perhaps. When we pull ourselves out of the race, we may be terrified by the unknown. Can rest really bring benefit?

When I have successfully stopped myself, I have found that I often return to my work with renewed focus and energy. Work can be a wonderful blessing, but when allowed to grow too large for us, we’ll find that it can become self-defeating.

There’s a certain inevitability that we all face with rest. We will all need to rest at some point. The difference will be whether we choose to stop or whether we shut down involuntarily, turning into clams that are unable to handle even the simplest interactions.

Choosing rest while we can will save us from the worst of “the clams” and ensure that there’s something left of us for our loved ones during holidays and vacations.

When I think about writer Shawn Smucker, I think of jam. When not making jams and jellies, Shawn writes books and blog posts. His blog is very good, with a tasteful color scheme and cheerful fonts. After carefully reviewing the cover of his latest book, My Amish Roots, I sent Shawn some questions to answer. Here are his replies:

You have a tree on the cover. That’s fascinating. I mean, why not a bush, shrub, or house plant? What is the significance of this so-called tree?

I love the metaphor of the tree when it comes to family history, and when I saw this painting by a good friend of mine, Freiman Stoltzfus, I knew I wanted it to be the cover. It’s a tree in which all four seasons are present, and the roots are growing down into Lancaster City. This issue of seasons also created an ongoing theme throughout the book.

I presume you wrote this book from the perspective of someone who is part of a family—with the roots possibly representing your “family.” While we wouldn’t say that you “dug up” your roots, as that would imply destroying them, what did your “perusal” of your roots teach you about your family? Did this project change you?

I lived among the rolling hills of Lancaster County from as early as I could remember until I went to college, only to return after 15 years of living elsewhere. Something I unearthed while writing the book was how much my home town meant to me, and how much I’ve always wanted my kids to experience that same feeling of belonging and support.

How do you see this book cornering the growing Amish book market?

This question made me smile. I certainly don’t have any corner on the Amish market. I see this book as primarily a reflection on life and death, the heritage we receive and pass on, and what it means to accept the family that brought you into existence. The Amish nature of the book is secondary. Or maybe even lower on the list than that.

How do you see this book competing against the popular vampire books? And did you know there is an Amish vampire book on the market?

I haven’t read any of the popular vampire books (yet), but I would imagine the pace is quick. My book is a very quiet book, hopefully not in a boring way, but in a way that will deliver a reflective experience for the reader. Besides, most of the Amish have garlic in their gardens. They don’t really have a vampire problem in Lancaster.

We all know the Amish are the people on our oatmeal containers, but what else will readers learn about the Amish if they read your book?

Sorry, the oatmeal guy is a Quaker! No beard. But I do get a little bit into the traditions of my Amish ancestors – their marriage and burial traditions. The way they approach death and support their older community. I grew up here and have Amish relatives, but I was still rather fascinated by the things I learned about Amish customs.

For those who want to “peruse” their family roots, what words of advice do you have?

Start now! Every year that passes represents stories forgotten or lost. If I would have done this ten years ago, I could have interviewed a great-uncle of mine who lived to be 101. 101! He was alive in the 1800s! Don’t wait to start collecting your family stories.

Where can readers find your book?

Thanks, Ed. You can order My Amish Roots at my website (http://shawnsmucker.com/store) or on Amazon (http://amzn.to/uuckly)

Thanks Shawn for putting up with my foolishness and silly questions. If you want to read interviews that actually involve real questions, check out these fine folks:

• Jennifer Luitweiler
• The Daily Retort
• Andrea Cumbo
• Alise…Write!

This isn’t a post about God having a smite button. The results I describe are not unlike smiting, but they are entirely self-inflicted. I’m talking about the call to follow Jesus as a disciple and the daily moments we have to choose between obedience and our own plans.

I’ve learned that God lets us resist him. We can fight against God. However, we often won’t like the results. When I have said “no” or “wait” to God, I’ve discovered one of the following: frustration, anxiety, anger, or sadness. Sometimes I get a mix of them all.

I was reading the story of Elisha yesterday, and I began to wonder what would have happened if he resisted the wardrobe change that Elijah suggested for him. What if Elisha said, “No thanks. I’d rather hang here at my cozy estate and keep plowing with the oxen than put my life at risk with that crazy king of Israel!”

Here is where interpretation ceases and a little creative speculation comes into play. Sure, Elisha would have enjoyed some great years at his farm. But if you know the story of Elisha, which I heartily recommend, God repeatedly used Elisha to give the Israelites victory over the invading Arameans. When Samaria was surrounded, God spoke through Elisha and brought deliverance to the people of Israel.

What would have happened if Elisha had refused God’s call for his life?

We can only guess about the various scenarios that would have unfolded, but here are a few suggestions:

Elisha Would Have Struggled with Greed

If he had remained at his substantial farm with his 12-yoke of oxen workforce, Elisha would have continued to enjoy financial security. He never would have known God with the same intimacy as a prophet. In fact, he would have most likely struggled with greed, and who knows what could have happened from there.

Israel Would Have Been Destroyed

Without Elisha’s God-given guidance, the Arameans would have most likely captured the capital and occupied the rest of the country. Elisha would have eventually lost his farm and oxen at the end of the day.

The Worship of God Would Have Suffered

Faithful prophets of the Lord had it rough back in Elisha’s day. They had endured serious persecution under Ahab’s queen Jezebel, and even Elijah had fled in terror at her threats. Elisha helped fight against idol worship and kept his fellow believers on track. 

What’s at Stake for Us?

The story of Elisha reminds me that the decisions I make about obedience can have incredible ramifications for both my own future and the future of others. In addition, saying no to God does not guarantee safety or happiness. In fact, taking a big risk for God and watching God provide is a far safer place to be—even if the process feels anything but “safe.”

God doesn’t delight in making us miserable. He doesn’t use a smite button when we disobey him in this world. He lets us have what we want. When we repent and seek out his desires for us, the self-smiting will cease, and we’ll find peace even in the midst of facing challenges at the prompting of God.

This morning I was trying to imagine what Christmas would be like if my family got together and decided we were going to discuss everything we believe about politics, religion, same-sex marriage, abortion, U.S. foreign policy, and anything else that may be a source of contention. Just for the fun of it, we could sit around and evaluate one another’s beliefs and life decisions, criticizing them one by one.

I doubt we would make it to the meal, which would be rather sad since we always have pierogies on Christmas Day.

I don’t have any intention of trying this out. Rather, I write this in order to follow up on last week’s post about Christian unity and the idea that we can remain united despite our divisions.

The more I think about families, the easier it is for me to believe that meaningful Christian unity can be possible today despite the fragmented nature of Christians. It’s true that most of us know the right answer on paper: we are united by the bond of Jesus. Believing that statement when someone holds a belief that seems to run counter to the Bible or acts against the spirit of love requires a bit more faith than we can muster some days.

When I think of the differences in my own family and our ability to gather every year for great parties that have no shortage of love, I’m hopeful about Christianity. Many of us are already experts at living at peace and unity with family despite major differences.

We know how to avoid sensitive topics.

We know how to focus on what joins us together.

We know how to show an interest in others who are quite different from us.

There have been days when I’ve despaired about Christianity and the ways we are hopelessly fragmented. However, this morning, I am hopeful.

Even now we are all looking forward to the birth of Jesus, celebrating his coming among us and the arrival of God’s salvation. We all struggle with materialism. We all have long to-do lists before we can celebrate the holidays.

When we sit down to pray, seeking God amidst busy days and tasting the joys of his presence, we are all connecting to the same Father who loves us. As we tap into the peace and love that comes from our one Lord, may he share with us his passionate love for his people.

Years of being blessed with a low checking account balance forced me to rethink my approach to Christmas. Those were not easy years as I tried to tell myself that Christmas isn’t all about the presents, while fearing that my family would consider me cheap or inconsiderate.

A budget gift is a budget gift.

In a happy case of irony, my focus on gift-giving lead me back to a better conception of Christmas.

If art thrives on limitation, gift-giving followed suit. If I only had ten dollars to spend on each person, I had to ask very different questions for gift-giving, the most important being: “What would this person never buy for himself/herself?”

This lead to a series of time-consuming projects such as homemade applesauce, unique jams, hot sauce, and framed photographs. Everything was tailored to the specific needs of each person and in most cases kept us within our budget.

The first time I gave my grandmother a jar of homemade applesauce, she opened it right away and burst into tears at the first taste. She hadn’t eaten homemade applesauce since the last time her mother had made it. My mom guards her jar of blueberry jam, while my in-laws don’t miss a meal without their hot sauce.

As we’ve reached greater financial security, we’ve been able to spend more money on gifts, but our question remains the same. Oddly enough, the homemade gifts are still a big hit. In addition, we’ve begun to keep our Christmas spending under control by joining together with family members to buy one large gift that someone would never purchase on his/her.

I organized some pretty epic purchases that both met a relative’s need and ensured a minimum investment—the biggest ticket item being a computer for my wife before she entered graduate school. I’d share some examples from this year, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise for anyone.

Ironically, the more I’ve thought about my gift-giving strategy, the more I’ve been drawn away from focusing on giving gifts and pondering the power of God. Isn’t Christmas all about the power of God to do for us what we could never do for ourselves?

I love the promise that Gabriel made to Mary, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.”

God overshadows us. He breaks into our gift-giving madness to remind us that our iPads will one day break, our E-readers will be replaced, our shirts will unravel, and even our jams will go rotten. We can’t beat greed, materialism, and selfishness on our own. We’ll keep thinking that these bits of technology and clothing are what we really need.

God knows that we need to overshadowed. We need him to overcome every competing desire in our life. Only he can overshadow every idol that tries to replace those quiet moments where we sense that the loving touch of God is what we were made to experience, even if we think we’ll be fulfilled by touching what we have made.

There is incredible joy in giving someone a gift that he could never acquire on his own. In fact, meeting a real need is the best kind of gift giving. God knew that when he overshadowed Mary with his power and sent us a Savior as the greatest gift—doing something we could never accomplish on our own.

May we find that joy both in our relationships with God and with one another. May we find what only God can give and meet needs that would otherwise remain.

This post is part of World Vision’s 12 Blogs of Christmas Project about the true spirit of Christmas. In order to learn more real needs that you can meet this Christmas season, check out the World Vision Catalogue.

Do you have your own story about the true spirit of Christmas? Share it today at the World Vision blog.

I once heard an interview with comedian Dennis Leary who shared that his grade school teacher told him that anyone could be president. He returned home that day and asked his dad, “Can anyone be president?”

“Sure, anyone can,” his dad replied.

“Could I be president?” young Dennis asked.

His dad snorted and replied, “Are you kidding me?”

I like conversations like that because Leary’s father didn’t necessarily discourage him from pursuing a successful career. He simply understood who his son is and where he would be successful—i. e. not politics.

Why I Want to Fail

I have a little hobby on Twitter where I unfollow everyone who posts pithy motivational sayings about never giving up, never quitting, and failure being a choice we don’t have to make. I wrote about this a little while back in a post called Jesus Hates the Smell of Failure, and I wanted to follow up with some additional thoughts about the pitfalls of “never” giving up.

For instance, I want to fail. I don’t want to exclusively fail, but I’ve been thinking lately that I want God to expose everything that is not part of his plan for my life. I want anything outside of his plans for me to wither and die.

Arriving at this point wasn’t easy.

The Success I Crave: God’s Path and Provision

After seeing a friend of mine receive some fresh opportunities from out of the blue, I began to think, “Gosh, I wish God would affirm my direction in life like that!” Some days I feel like I’m just slogging along with the same old list of things to do. I begin to wonder if anything is going to change, if something big will ever happen again.

Sitting down in church yesterday, I recalled that God had actually affirmed a new project in several ways. In fact, he had even provided the way to develop it that I’ve always craved. In many ways, God has affirmed and provided for me. I had just missed it.

That startled me. How dense could I be? God has already been providing for the path he wants me to follow?

The next obvious question was this: Am I missing anything else?

Why yes, there was. Of course there was. A note from a friend later in the day affirmed something else I’ve been working on.

As soon as I began to ask God to cut off anything that wasn’t from him and to affirm anything that was from him, I began to see his fingerprints in several key areas of my life. I have no doubt that I’ll always find new paths to follow. I need to keep praying this prayer: “Frustrate what is not from you, affirm and provide for anything that is part of your plan.”

I pray that I will be frustrated, that plans will fail, and that I’ll sing God’s praises while walking through the ruins.

May God frustrate us until the day he reveals the path laid out for us. May God give us grace, patience, and courage to wait on his timing, to submit to his process, and to leap at the opportunity when the time comes.

I was careful to avoid saying that I would never go to church again, but it was certainly hard to imagine how it would ever happen again. Nine years ago I left a season of rooted stability in my faith and entered into a six-year season of transition into another expression of Christianity.

The basics remained the same, but over that time my perceptions of the church, salvation, the mission of God, the ministry of the church, and my own life calling passed through a major, major overhaul. I don’t know if you’ve ever done major renovations on a house before, but much like house renovations, my faith renovations were not pretty.

I was angry, frustrated, and disappointed at various times. I had a hard time tolerating those who remained rooted with their faith in tact. Sometimes I struck out at them, and sometimes they struck out at me for asking unsettling questions.

I’m now in a season of relative stability, rooted in a take on God that fits my limited perspective. As I look back over the past nine years of transition, I can see how others around me are in similar seasons of being either rooted or transitioning.

• Some have been disappointed by Christianity for various reasons and left the faith.
• Some have switched from one denomination to another.
• Some are still wandering.
• Some have found loving Christian community in new places that had previously been off their radar.

If we hope to keep the unity of Christ in the midst of our divisions, we need to understand these seasons. Besides our divisions over beliefs and practices, we can also divide over our seasons of belief.

At the risk of oversimplifying things, here are three seasons I have observed:

The Rooted Season of Faith

Many of us are in a rooted season in our faith where we have a certain level of comfort with our understanding of the Bible, our spiritual practices, and the ways we serve others. Those who are rooted need to be aware of welcoming those who are sprouting in their faith and have yet to find their place, while also remaining patient with those who are being transplanted.

The Transplant Season of Faith

For some of us who have been rooted in one spot for a while, sometimes the old answers and ways of doing things stop making sense. We all have our different reasons for pulling up our roots and moving elsewhere, though sometimes wider trends emerge.

Transplants are often in vulnerable positions, as they don’t feel like they fit anywhere, their beliefs have been shaken in some way, and they may be hurting enough to become combative. The hardest thing for a rooted person is patiently loving an argumentative transplant. I reached a point during my own transplant process that I actually couldn’t go to church for a season because I wasn’t in a healthy place to deal with it.

Besides spreading conflict, another problem with transplants is they sometimes rush into something new without dealing with their previous hurts and disappointments. I saw this a lot with folks who were disappointed by the church and then jumped right into house churches or emerging churches without seeking healing first.

The Sprouting Season of Faith

On the opposite end of the spectrum from the more jaded transplants are the sprouts, Christians who are still enthusiastic about their faith. The danger with sprouts is transplants can snuff out their zeal with their grievances, while those who are rooted may fail to reach out to them and nurture them in the faith.

A sprout can wither easily and get trampled down if it isn’t guarded with care. Sprouts will have lots of questions and they may feel overwhelmed by the maturity of those with deep roots. Those who are rooted must make sure they protect the sprouts from storms and hard times, ensuring they receive the nourishment from God they need so badly.

Besides different beliefs and practices, Christians differ with their seasons of faith. I’m sure there are folks who would claim to be hybrids or something different altogether, but these three seasons keep coming up for me. When we understand the seasons of faith of those in our communities, we’ll be able to love them right where they’re at today.

Do these seasons of faith make sense to you?

Have you passed through a season of transition or of being rooted?