:: in.a.mirror.dimly ::

One of my fondest memories of seminary is lunch time. The first generation Korean students gathered at a table and opened their Tupper wares to share with one another. I was even invited to pick up some chop sticks in join them at times.

Meanwhile, the occasional middle-aged pastor who had forgotten to bring a lunch would survey the vending machines with dread, knowing that the cheeseburger in a plastic bag would be his best option. He delayed that decision as long as possible.

Once a month we had a guest speaker come for a pizza lunch. Just about the entire seminary turned out for these events, filling the cafeteria and giving us all a chance to see each other and to catch up. These lunches gave us something that is essential when a bunch of people from a variety of backgrounds and relationships gather together to talk about God: relationships.

Do We Speak Truth in Relationships?

I love the way that ideas and conversations can spread on the internet, but the most significant drawback is the relational void that can occur in some online “conversations.” That isn’t to say that relationships can’t happen—they do. I’m just saying that we can now enter into conversations where we know nothing of the people participating in them.

Consequently, we don’t understand where someone is coming from and we’re not all that invested in seeking the best for that person. We just see a pile of text that challenges something important to us. There’s no prospect of seeing that pile of text at the next community lunch.

The Difference That Relationships Make

I’m certainly all for sharing my ideas online and hearing out those who disagree with me. However, I’ve observed some interesting dynamics. For example, though I’m a committed Arminian, many of my closest friends since childhood remain Calvinists. Although my childhood church is complementarian in their views toward women, and I have changed to egalitarian, I would pay close attention to the opinions of my pastors should they even contact me with a concern about my writing.

It actually can be quite easy to be friends with people we know who believe differently from us. Of course we all have experienced exceptions to this.

Who Should We Listen To?

As a general rule, I put the most stock in the opinions of the people who know me the best. Starting with my wife and some family members, I also pay close attention to friends, pastors, and colleagues. It is both unhealthy and impossible to acknowledge every opinion online as a kind of authority for our lives, and yet, it’s often tempting to do just that—even if we think we need to challenge these voices.

Who Should We Ignore

The tricky part about blogging is that I need to remain open to conversations with folks from a variety of perspectives, but I also can’t let a challenge from someone who doesn’t know me rattle my cage. I can’t lose sleep over the stuff coming from denominational leaders, celebrity pastors, and groups that would condemn someone like me.

They’re free to believe as they wish and I recognize their place in the church, but their critiques are also irrelevant to me. They have nothing invested in my own spiritual growth or the growth of my community, and therefore the best thing I can do is to seek accountability among those who desire to see myself and my community grow. While I seek guidance from perspectives outside of those who agree with me, a relational investment is critical.

Recognizing the Benefits of Authority

Having set some boundaries around the opinions I care most about, I want to make it clear that within the confines of relationships and becoming personally invested in one another, I also highly value the place of authority. We all need pastors and friends who care enough about us to challenge us to change. Tomorrow I’ll write about the freedom that comes from loving, relational authority.

I confessed to my wife last night that I’m a hockey fundamentalist. There’s something so wonderful about the game itself that I don’t see a need to tack on anything extra to “jazz” it up. Here’s an example:

I watched a Columbus Blue Jackets game last night and I saw them score a goal for the first time (yes, it’s been a long 3 weeks). Now, I’m no lover of the loud fog horn they blast at some arenas or that stupid, annoying song that Chicago plays whenever they score a goal, but Columbus merely begins their celebrations by firing a canon. No, that’s not quite gimmicky enough. They tack on a live rock band and cheerleaders.

Cheer leaders in hockey?

Blasphemy.

I longed for the old days of the lame old organ. Yes, I’m a hockey fundamentalist.

I suppose Columbus can keep their rock band, but these gimmicks do say something about the way we add more stuff to things that are already pretty good. More is better and interesting. Take the Amazon Kindle Fire.

It’s not enough to be able to read books on a device. They integrate all kinds of apps that you can use. On the one hand, that is really convenient. On the other hand, the possibilities for distraction are endless. The more we add, the more we jeopardize our attention and discipline.

A Kindle Fire does not lead directly to distraction. It’s not a matter of cause. We’re simply placing ourselves in a position to be distracted. Sometimes the best thing we can do is limit ourselves, place boundaries around our lives, and give out attention wholly to one thing.

There is something wonderfully freeing about being able to focus on one thing, becoming consumed in the observations and lessons of a moment. That alone is my reason for using a journal every day.

My journal goes to church, to bed, and to work with me. I have it at the breakfast table and even tote it along on a car ride if I anticipate some free time. It provides a very simple way to sit and reflect on one thing, following it to wherever it may lead me.

There is no temptation to check e-mail, to tweet a bad pun, or to read the news. My attention is wholly given to the task of jotting down what’s on my mind. This simple discipline is incredibly useful for spiritual growth.

Once God plants a seed in my mind, it has room to grow and flourish in my journal. A simple sentence may spread roots as deep as two pages. Life-changing lessons have developed strong and fruitful in the greenhouse of my journal.

Multi-use devices such as iPads, Kindles, and Nooks have their place for sure. However, as we embrace new technology and tools, we need to be honest about what they lack and what we lose if we switch over to them exclusively.

The pen and notebook are innovations from the past as well. As we gained the ability to write, we stopped developing our memories. It’s not like I’m preserving some kind of golden age in my journal.

My journal provides a way to keep my life simple and focused in a world that thrives on distractions, speed, and endless options. Journaling is a conscious choice to pursue a path that enables me to focus on reflecting or meditating.

After writing in my journal, my mind is sharper and focused, and my ideas and lessons are safely entrusted into a safe place. With my ideas secure, I’m free to power up my computer and watch another hockey game.

When playing baseball in Jr. High, I used to watch with relief when a ground ball streaked toward shortstop or a fly ball soared into right field. So long as I didn’t have to deal with it at second base.

If I didn’t make any errors and at least hit the ball once, I could usually go home happy.

This is not the attitude you want if you plan on actually winning a game.

While the members of a youth baseball team can coast through a season within thinly veiled disinterest, the stakes change significantly when we start dealing with the Christian life. In fact, half-hearted interest is a huge problem.

Paul speaks of the Christian pursuit of God as something we throw ourselves into with complete devotion, straining to win. We aren’t just in the race. Being in the race as a Christian won’t do much for us.

In fact, if we aren’t actively trying to win the race, we may be in trouble.

We need to be careful that we don’t allow the results or numbers focus of the business-world to influence us. We don’t have to freak out about bringing verifiable data to God. A PowerPoint presentation of our quarterly spiritual growth and progress is not required. 

I have the sense that God is searching for people who are deeply committed to him. That means besides believing in him, we are reordering our lives in the short and long term around him.

God is looking for commitment on par with Rocky: rising early for an egg drink, charging up the Philly art museum steps, and pounding hunks of meat at the local packing plant. His life revolved around his goal. I doubt anyone would punch meat for the fun of it.

Our time in the car, waiting in line, or lying in bed before falling asleep are all opportunities to draw near to God. We can find moments to advance throughout our day, and other times we’ll need to change our schedules in order to make God our top priority.

Drawing near to God is our goal. 

If we aren’t making progress toward giving ourselves completely to God, we are in danger of being distracted by an unhealthy focus on things such as money, sex, power, or listless amusement. That isn’t to say we can’t have those things in their proper place. However, if we aren’t moving toward God, we run the risk of being pushed away from God.

I see the Christian life as this ongoing process where we’re continually learning to surrender more and more of ourselves to God. We don’t arrive at a place of complete surrender or deep holiness overnight. It’s a long-term training process with some short term rewards leading to the greatest reward at the end.

Ask God where you should begin.

I started swimming laps back in November. It was more like splashing a lot and drowning a little. I needed lots of breaks, and I couldn’t do the freestyle/crawl stroke too much. I mixed all of these made-up strokes together. A few months later I still struggle to keep a fast pace during my laps—“no pain” is my unofficial work out motto—but I can swim relatively well for 30 minutes with a few breaks.

Training myself to exercise regularly has been a difficult process, but it’s paying off in the short and long term with better health, less stress, and sound sleep. Those rewards were not apparent at the beginning, and there were moments of frustration, but winning the mental battle of the first few swims was the worst of it.

God can help you ask those first questions, take those first steps, and sort out what needs to change. God wants to be found—at least eventually. Finding God may not be easy sometimes, but I’ve often found that those times of waiting and uncertainty were generally part of him breaking down unhealthy patterns in my life or teaching me something I’m not expecting.

God wants us to thrive, experiencing the full peace and joy that he gives us. If we want those things too, we won’t find them by doing the bare minimum.

While on vacation with our family last week I gave frequent updates on the past year, and I realized something.

The past year wasn’t the worst. That kind of surprised me. In fact, a lot of great things happened. And then again, I certainly hit my fair share of set backs that cast a shadow over things—hence my surprise.

During this time last year, where did I expect to be in a year’s time? The answer: Well, not quite where I am right now. And now, where do I expect to be next year at this time?

I can live with my lack of progress because life is more than a long to-do list. I need to look at something bigger than my goals.

This isn’t a matter of painting a bulls-eye wherever my arrows land. Rather, I’m talking about the delicate balance of having goals and remembering the larger relational picture of life. Over the past year my daily quality of life has improved and my wife and I have found time to be together in midst of some pretty crazy schedules.

All in all, we’re doing fine, and that is something to be thankful for.

On the Christian end of things, I think I can get caught up in meeting all kinds of goals as well, craving certain spiritual milestones. You know, stuff like being free from a nagging sin, hearing God more clearly, or reading a certain amount of scripture. Christians usually think they don’t pray enough, and we’re usually moving somewhere between the extremes of despairing over our sin or excusing it.

I like the idea of aiming for Christian maturity, and I’ll speak about that more this week, but as far as goals go, I think it’s important to begin any discussion of them from the standpoint of what’s most important.

When I consider my goals as a Christian, I find myself balancing the desire to be more holy or spiritual, but not listing the goal over the relationship with God that will ultimately lead me to that level of holiness or spirituality. In other words, working toward the goals can overshadow the means by which we attain them—namely through intimacy with Christ.

It can be frustrating to struggle with sin or to find that you’re not quite as far along in your Christian walk as you’d like, but we don’t move forward by setting a goal and then working on it without the relationship with Christ in place. I’m learning that the best way forward is not always what seems to be the most direct…